A MISSION OF THE HEART'S DESIRE

My eyes were closed shut and I took a deep breath. The time was now to show myself that I can do this. I ran forward at a decent speed. As I was about to take the two strides before I leap, I felt my knees giving up on me sending me down on the ground. I was in so much pain, maybe I had pushed myself too far. I thought about quiting as my father would want it but this was my dream. If the present could tell my future the desire of my heart, it would be me standing on the big stage with thousands and thousands of people cheering my name Oliver! Oliver! Oliver! I stood up, went to the end of the field and tried again.

Dinner time was silent. The only sound you could hear was of the food being devoured and crushed into small pieces in the mouth. My father was at the the end of the table looking deep in thoughts, sad and depressed.

"I am going for the national long jump try outs."

"No you're not. Your knees haven't healed yet."

"Try outs starts in one week and I am going-"

"You are not!" He banged the table so hard I could feel it shaking. " You know what happened the last time."

"But it won't happen again." My plea was as dead as a rotten meat.

"Do you think having no ability to walk is a joke huh? Look at me! Look at me!" The anger and frustration were very well visible in his eyes but fear and sadness is what dominated his emotions.

"This is what I want dad," the tears were warming my cheeks as they flow uncontrollably. " You know it has always been my dream to go to the Olympics and if mother was here she could-"

"She could have not let you get hurt again. I let her down. I should not have let you compete that day." He left his half eaten plate of food on the table and rolled away on his wheelchair.

The night sky was so bright that I could clearly count the stars and wish on the moon. What my father said at the dinner ached my heart immensely. He blamed himself for what had happened to me. Ever since my mother left us, he has never dealt well with the loss and blamed himself for every misfortune happening around us.

His door was open so I let myself inside. He was by the window looking outside at the moon. I went and stood next to him.

"It was not your fault."

"When I fell from that last jump I took and I could not get up, I knew that was the end for me. Your mother was so scared. I saw her breaking into pieces, crying her heart out as they wheeled me into the emergency room. She made me promise not to let that happen to you, so you can only imagine how I felt watching you lying there and not moving." I could feel how disappointed he was that he could not protect me. I leaned down and threw my arms around him.

"I love you and I know you want to protect me, but this is my destiny. This is what I want to be. It is who I am," I said with the softest and most soothing voice. He broke down in my arms and I let him cry all the pain and guilt he has been holding in his heart.

" If this is what you want to do then I will support you but be careful, you are all that I have son."

"I will father." He kissed me on the forehead and gave me the brightest smile i have ever seen since his wedding to my mother.

For the next one week I have been working hard for the try outs. My dad has been training me and getting me ready to face this one obstacle to my ultimate goal. Getting into the national team was not easy but it was a dream away to what I have been aiming for, an Olympic medal. My knees were making it harder for me to do my best but it was nothing a little bit of prescribed painkillers and determination couldn't fix.

The line was as long as the road to great success. My chances of getting into the team were growing slimmer and slimmer as more people trickled into the stadium. We were divided into ten groups of five each and we had to compete until one man was left standing. My start was slow but I managed to get enough points to get me through. It was a tough competition but I managed to emerge the winner in my group.

"Are you ok?"

"Yes. I can still go on."

"The two judges on the left seem to be impressed by you. I am not sure about the other two. Just do your best."

"Ok."

"Oh and son?"

"Yes father."

"You can do this." That was all I needed. Someone who believes in me by my side. I had to make him proud of me.

Five of us were still standing. This was it. This was the moment i had to bring my strength and will power. My knees were on fire but I knew how much this meant to me so I had to fight. I was ready to start. When I heard the whistle, I ran like never before. I jumped so high that I landed with a loud thumb. I could feel my knees slowly giving up but I had to go on. I had to fight harder. Finally, two people remained standing. This was my last chance. It was all or nothing. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and jumped as high as I could.

We were both waiting for the judges to give the scores. My father was next to me holding my hand. They announced my opponents score then mine and all I could hear were cheers from the crowed and other opponents. I could not believe I had won. I fell on the ground and hugged my father tightly with tears washing off all the sweat on my face.

"We did it dad! We did it."

"Your mother would be proud of you son." I had achieved a step towards my goal, only one step to go and that is the big stage.