1 comment

Fiction Funny Holiday

December 31st, 2023

Happy New Year’s Eve! 

What a wonderful time for fresh starts and new

beginnings! I am really looking forward to starting over in 2024 – THIS IS

MY YEAR!

I know if I want to achieve my dreams, I have to go big or go

home, but I can do this!

1.      Cut all complex

carbohydrates and refined sugars.

2.     Exercise for an hour daily.

3.     Use my new 5-step skincare

routine nightly.

4.     Floss every morning.

5.     Limit social media to 30 minutes

a day.

January 10, 2024

This is harder than I expected but, I believe it was Maya

Angelou who said “When you know better, do better.” Well, it appears I

forgot to calculate that I’m human! So, I’m just going to touch up my

resolutions a little bit before I give it another go.

1.      Cut out complex carbs and

refined sugars. (Except on Saturdays)

2.     Exercise for 45 minutes daily.

3.     Use my new 5-step skincare

routine every night.

4.     Floss every morning.

5.     Limit social media to 45 minutes

a day.

I’ve got this!

January 15, 2024

Wow, all this self-care takes a lot more time than I thought! So

far, there just haven't been enough hours in the day to meet my resolutions, so

I just need to make a few more adjustments and I should be good.

1.      Cut out complex carbs and

refined sugars on weekdays.

2.     Exercise for 30 minutes daily.

3.     Try to use the 5-step skincare

routine every day.

4.     Floss every morning.

5.     Limit social media to one hour a

day.

January 18, 2024

Okay, c’mon. Let’s get realistic here. I’m human –

there’s no way in hell I was going to be able to live up to such strict

standards! 

This time around, I'm going to try to just give myself some

general guidelines. Maybe that will be easier...

1.      Make healthier dietary

choices.

2.     Exercise 4 times a week for 30

minutes each time.

3.     Return the 5-step skincare

routine to Walmart.

4.     Floss every morning.

5.     Limit Candy Crush to weekends

only.

There. Much better.

January 25th, 2024

What the hell! It hasn’t even been a month and these

resolutions are kicking my ass!

What is so hard about this? I can make healthy

choices? I can go for walks, and take care of myself!

Alright, time to refocus.

1.       Cut all complex

carbs and refined sugars with one cheat meal on Saturday nights.

2.     Go for a 30-minute walk every

weekday.

3.      Buy the 3-step skincare

routine from Amazon.

4.     Floss every morning.

5.     Limit social media to your daily

lunch hour.

I can do this, I just need to bear down and get on with

it. They say that it takes 7 weeks to develop a new habit, I just need to

try to get through that and I should be golden.

February 3rd, 2024

I’m dying.  Or, at least, I wish I was.  Lord knows, I’d be better off dead. 

Covid is kicking my ass. New resolutions till I get passed this…

1.      Drink broth and hot tea to

keep my strength up.

2.     Sleep as much as possible.

3.     Try to shower.

4.     Floss.

5.     Notify anyone I’ve been in

contact with that I’m positive.

February 7th, 2024

Finally feeling a bit more like myself, though the brain fog is real!

Going to resolve to clean the snotty tissues by the garbage and

put away all the meds on the nightstand before I get back to the grind.

February 8th, 2024

FML.  Pulled my back out

picking up the tissues.  Not only can I not stand upright or walk, but I’m

still sneezy and every sneeze feels like a freight train rammed through my

spine.

February 12th, 2024

Four x-rays, an itemized medical bill as long as my arm, and

several cortisone shots later, I am once again able to stand and move. Is

anyone else still doing their resolutions?

I’m not going to lie, the thought of giving up has run through

my mind, but I knew it wouldn’t be easy going into this.

I’ve read that having a positive mindset when setting goals can

help you to achieve them, so, I’m going to give that a try.

1.       Focus on doubling my

protein intake.

2.     Take 30 minutes to commune with

nature on a daily walk.

3.      Enjoy a relaxing shower

each morning, followed by a glow-enhancing skincare routine.

4.     Floss daily.

5.     Dedicate my social media use to

positive interactions.

February 26th, 2024

I think the positivity is helping! I’ve had two really

great weeks and I feel so much better about myself!

Just five more weeks to go and I’ll have officially developed

five new wonderful habits in my life.

I feel so good that I’ve been sharing my success on social

media. What is that saying? Be the positivity you wish to see in the

world?

Yeah, I really feel like this journey is inspiring people to

keep trying and never give up, and I’m just really happy to be that kind of

light for others.

March 4th, 2024

Not going to lie, this was a harder week but, I kept at it!

Only four more consistent weeks to lock these changes in, and

I’ll be solid!

March 17th, 2024

You know what?  *hiccup* The problem with this world

is that we focus too much on what will *make* us happy, instead of just being

happy!

So, I have some love handles. So what? Does that make

me unlovable? Do I have to starve myself…deprive myself of the things I

enjoy just so I can be the world’s image of skinny?

And don’t get me started on the exercise. I’ve been killing

myself – not every day, but a few times – and I’ve GAINED weight.

I paid over $100 for this stupid skincare routine and I’m

breaking out like an oily-skinned 13-year-old.

Don’t get me started on avoiding negativity on social

media! It’s a bear trap!

I don’t know, maybe it’s the green beer talking but, what’s the

point?

March 18th, 2024

Everything hurts and the world is spinning funny. I’m never

drinking beer again! (Or, maybe it was the Tequila that did me in…)

March 19th, 2024

I fell off the proverbial wagon, but I still got this. I

just need to find that self-discipline I’ve had that’s gotten me this far…

April 1st, 2024

It’s noon and I still haven’t gotten out of bed yet. I ate Oreos

for breakfast while doomscrolling on TikTok.

But at least I flossed!

December 31, 2023 14:58

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

1 comment

Tricia Shulist
18:00 Jan 14, 2024

How true! With all the New Year’s resolutions, we tend to set our selves up to fail. I like that you carried the effort all the way to April Fools’ Day — how apropos! The changing goals were so spot on! And I also liked the way that you justified the changes to the goals. Who better to talk yourself out of something than the person who knows you best — yourself! One hundred percent relatable! Thanks for sharing.

Reply

Show 0 replies
RBE | Illustrated Short Stories | 2024-06

Bring your short stories to life

Fuse character, story, and conflict with tools in Reedsy Studio. 100% free.