Juxtaposed Divinity

Here I stand in opposition of the stars, lost … deep in space and time. Searching just to find my mind and put it still again, but my heart opposes my thoughts in this moment. A cold desperate and lonely place, breath fogs as it leaves my lips and nostrils. Groaning lightly in the cold of this place with deep feeling of knowing alone so closely. Head bowed, walking slowly with the weight of a heavy heart, each step feels the burden of moving forward as life tugs with the chains of deep sorrow.

The faint glow of the world burns against the caverns with a searing sensation as the acidity of man etches these walls. The hollows weep and seep with a slight stench of time slowly slipping from blood-soaked ravages of the lands above. Trickles thickly flowing down the walls as if the shames of man manifest this place for all time. Flowing ever deeper and wider down, collecting and pooling in deep red. Have the sins of man penetrated so deeply it has become so perverse? These pools as they gather and deepen seem foreboding. From streams to rivers as they flow ever lower sloping in an ever-increasing pace.

Bending knee leaning ever closer I open my swollen eyes to peer into these pools, as fear and shame pulse through my body, my hand reaches out to touch the pools, wanting to feel deeply the burdens of us all. In expectation I close my eyes and bow my head, fingers penetrate river of the blood of the world. Stirring ever deeply in me, my nostrils twitch. Strange warmth as my fingers pull and push through the shallows. Feeling the thickness of it plunging my hand deeper as pulses of life penetrate my skin, my brow tightens and my face clinches. My shames, fears, and tragedies run in flashes through my mind as the warmth flows up my arm, retching deep in the emptiness of my chest. More, more, pulsing and warming as tears well up in my swollen eyes … what is this … can it…. Can it be something? Plunging deeper wrapping my fingers around this flesh as it pulses. Quickly I raise my hand and open my fingers…. So familiar it is beating there, but the wounds and scars tatter this pained heart. As the beats slow … nervousness makes it difficult to swallow. Before the last pulse I press it into my chest. Ripping and taring flesh as I press it back in place. Gasping for breath I can feel my heartbeat once more.

Stumbling, my hand steadies itself against the cold cavern wall. How did I get here? Why did the universe place me in this moment? As the world feels like it is collapsing around me, the earth trembles, rocks tumble from the wall. My tear ducts are dry with the truths of “me” and no longer can be my guide. Wishing for the wrapping warmth of my mothers’ arms to shield me from the world. So long ago were these comforts, to be caressed in the warmth of a childhood protected from worldly baptism. Innocence lost as the days trudge by growing ever colder. Virtues slowly become pains as scars pile up.

Trying to find comfort in this cold dark place I press my fingers into these walls, then … suddenly turn to clay. A touch of flesh, pushing fingers together with another… how … I pull harder as a hand appears from beneath the clay. Grasping as lifeless body falls to the floor of the carnal cavern. There she lay covered in clay and without breath, naked against the stone. Pushing the mud from her face, revealing an angelic soul hidden, buried in her walls for what she hoped for all time. Probing my thumb along her cheek. “oh, my sweet. I’ve found her too late.”

Perversely taking solace in her closeness I lay next to her pulling her long-lost fingers into mine. Hoping my warmth could give her comfort in the cold lifelessness in this lost soul. Loneliness can find no comfort. But her beauty, it seeps into me as I touch my cheek to hers. Wishing, hoping, I keep pulling her closer. My tears awash on her face now, I brush them away. “I’m sorry I found you so late my lost angel.” Pain and tears ring out as I scream with hands raised to the ceiling. The profound loss that never was to be. What was her story, where did she come from? How did she find her walls so deep in smothering end? Wishing I could have known her and shield her from her sins. Pulling her lifeless body onto me, I keep brushing her hair out helping her feel pretty again. The vanity of my feeling deeply for this lifeless angelic beauty. My lips softly whisper, “Find one last comfort on my chest my angel.” What seems moments then hours go by slipping… eternal desire just to be touched. I reach down and kiss her forehead “I am so, so sorry my angel. I will shed my own tears in hope you can feel my love.”

As eternity tugs and pulls at us hope fades. Feeling your hand within mine, your hand tightens and a twitch, your cheek moves across my chest. She gasps and takes a breath. I am awakened by your kiss. I jolt awake to see these beautiful amber pools staring deep into mine. In the darkness a shine glows in a smile so pure. Words leave her lips” Hello, my love. How did you find me behind my wall.”

“Oh, my beautiful sunshine.” Gulping air as I try to breathe, deep happiness,” Your soul found mine and by chance but wrapped in divinity of true love. I thank the heavens for your touch.”

A tear rolls down her cheek. Choking on her words, “I, I love you!”

Kissing her forehead, gently brushing her hair aside “I love you more than breath itself my angel. I will give you everlasting love.”

In pure juxtaposed divinity two souls collide into true loves kiss … despite the universe!