Sin of a Bitch

I am now googling it all again.

“How to get publishers for my book?”

Yeah, yeah, I had peeked into all these self-publishers, a couple of years back. I now frown upon them. You know, letting you publish your amateur novel for money and all that… I don’t want that, right?

I mean, contrast that with a solid team of publishers, sizing your book up and down before shaking hands or shouting out my book can bang the market! That is a dream come true. That turns me on!

And let me be clear, I am not ambitious. I don’t want people bending down to pick my book on the stands, quite an effort I would say for a belly big as mine, or even for that sake, arousing anyone to kindle-read it? I mean, it is all fine and flashy, but let’s take it nice and slow.

What’s the easiest target you could pull off? Getting the nod from a team of editors. You see, I have been there, well… sort of, and actually done that. My web series got approved in BizZee (name changed in courtesy). I was not the director, of course, even bigger, I was the Creative Producer. The show was called Topless (no I didn’t change the name. You can google it… Topless, India) so why not some recognition out of something that you know fairly well? The only real deal here is writing a book, and much like the clichéd stories that you have seen, where you have a writer struggling to find his form, going through a period of low, well I kind of fall there presently, except, I think it is not going to be that hard for me to grope-hold a storyline.

My actual problem is, will people really fall for it? I mean, how do I imagine those editors in my head? Not old-timers, they must have come of age but sort of bossy definitely, I mean the way Rosemary Publishers had a mega list of dos and don’ts in their website, I could say they are going to come down heavy on you, trash your material, and guess what, somehow I will get there, sitting across a group of people, anxious and hands folded, or at least I could get one on one with a female editor maybe where she would push down her suggestions, how my story could use some nice twists and turns. And I would be happy to go that far, you know.

So, I was not okay with the results that came on the top of the first page of Google. There was another ad from ThoughtCandies Self-publishers; I had already approached them by 2018, I guess when I was done with “Hot Devi,” a novella. You see, writing is kind of tricky because, whoever reads it, they are not going to read like you read, right? So there is this frequency that could spoil the party. I wonder how many people match my frequency. The only person who reads my mind, I could frankly put my thought across, is my friend Kama and then yeah, there is Kalpana, who is not in touch, after that freak incident, forget it!

So how am I going to achieve that piece of crowd wherein they understand your subtexts, the nuances you are trying to put inside, the subtle jokes, and all that? That is going to be tough, and you know what, if you are settling on fiction to write, you have to think about….

Fuck this son of a… is still bothering. I am just out of another failed self-pleasure session, trying to bring my focus back on writing... It has been months since I reached the climax, all because of this fucker… lingering at the back of my bloody mind. Now he won’t go even after I had zipped my trousers. He usually doesn’t stay after I quit my session. He was the producer of this damned web series, I told you earlier, where I had put all my 5 years' life to get approval from the OTT. And then these BizZee bitches (name changed in courtesy) commission this program to this nasty fellow, getting my team a fucked up line-producer, fucker fucked my life. He is yet to settle my payment. Fucker got his due from the platform, and yet he says 2 months. I wonder when this amount is going to reach me. If it doesn’t happen, I will go the extra mile, and make this buggar shit his pants, something like that, though he is a hard nut. He had me fucking cried umpteen times; you know that!

Fuck, why I am writing this Sin of a bitch (no, it is not a typo, it's "Sin," hear me out). I mean this guy, whenever I try and have a good me-time, you know what I mean, when I touch myself, fucker and his fuck-face will come and haunt me and then I sort of get pulled away from the pleasure. Have you ever gotten distracted from porn, you see this Sin of a bitch does it to me. And you know what, I really called my friend from Cumbum city to tell him that I am not getting the orgasm because this fucker comes just in time to stop my climax. Kama, oh boy, first was clueless, thought I was crazy. And then, I gave out the context.

“Kama bro, he fucked my creative producer career. I cannot pursue it hereafter. I was betrayed. He won’t pay. He played me out.”

Kama got the hang of it.

“So I see, you lost it completely. You are guilty-tripped. You quit your dream because of him, and now when you try to escape from all this and seek some relief, this guilt of losing comes in the form of his face. He is again making you quit. This time he is fucking with your pleasure.”

“Enough with your theory. What would you suggest? It’s been a month, and I have tried coming every day.!”

Kama, my dearest buddy, came up with a creative hack for the mental/physical block.

You know what he said,

“Think about his wife. Kumar, you imagine, like you fuck her. Of course, with consensus. Well, he fucked your life, broke your consensus, you repay him in kind.”

 I remember this woman, seen her once. She is a complete antithesis of him — Lovely-looking, curvy, innocent, pale, good-natured, beautiful, dark-black. This fucker is completely opposite—wily, slim, devilish, ugly, light-brown. I initially shrugged at the thought of it, but eventually mused on it, the idea was striking, because in my ability, I could really make her moan and cum, I even like to force her a bit, whoa… let’s not go far if this Sin of a bitch reads this. Well, he won’t understand, would he? Un-creative producer. But if he gets the gist of it, well fuck you Sinish (name not changed, that’s his real name), I am going to publish this.

 This is going to be my next fucking story. I fucking got a good line bruh. I am going to make you all famous buggar. Let’s do this shit!

P.S. I am all self-publishing it. This story is too good to wait for some old-timers to decide whether it should be read out by the public. I am not going to depend on anybody. If it should come out, it should come out. Call it a revenge fiction, my freehand to reclaim self-pleasure. And I am bloody self-publishing it. Well, Sinish can still visit and halt my self-pleasure, and you know what, the hero could stay a little longer and help me complete my novella, “Sinish vs. Sperms!”