A psalm tree in New Jersey

I nearly lose focus on the road as I admire the city's skyline. The hundreds of lights inside the dozens of tall buildings give the night sky a bit of competition. This is a different kind of beautiful. I have never seen so many buildings so close together. And there are too many people! Why are they out so late? Lord knows I’m doing my best not to have an anxiety attack. Have you ever saw a psalm tree in New Jersey? How would that even work? The climate couldn’t possibly sustain it. Although it would be quite the visual shock, it would look so out of place. This is the best analogy I could find to describe my relationship with Kevin. As I continue on what feels like a never-ending drive, I take a moment to mentally map out the decisions that got me here. At least Kevin is getting his wish fulfilled; I’m taking him home.

Initially, I had just found Kevin interesting and attractive. We worked together at a job that isn’t worth mentioning. After countless conversations that were mainly carried out to pass time, we realized we were fond of one another. At the time we were both in our early twenties; both ending relationships. Did I mention I’m considered hot by a decent percentage of society? Recipe for disaster.

We exchanged numbers and often discussed our current relationships. Sometimes we flirted. Okay, we flirted a lot. Honestly, I was on a second attempt with my partner, and I’m a Libra. It’s rare that I commit, but genuine second chances aren’t my thing. Sure, now I am older and more patient; I let karma work. Back then, I knew the tables always turned but I was quick to lend them a hand. The only thing that kept me from making a move on Kevin was my respect for his relationship. Well, what was left of it.

Eventually, Kevin’s situation came to an end with his girlfriend and we were both single. Again, I’m a Libra. I was young and slightly promiscuous. I let Kevin know that I wanted to get better acquainted with him. He was more than pleased with my proposition. My guy even had one of his own; he loved me and wanted a relationship. Now I was young and dumb, but not that dumb. A wise woman once said, “I ain’t no Holla back girl.” Oh no my guy , I don’t do rebounds. Besides, I just want to have fun.

Kevin and I decided to just remain friends, the regular kind. For the next two years we spoke almost daily. We visited from time to time. I quit working at the place we met, but we grew closer. I learned about his life growing up in New Jersey. He learned about the perks of being raised in Nowheretown , Tennessee. Although we enjoyed comparing and contrasting our lives, we were polar opposites.

Kevin was calm, collected, patient and thoughtful. I admired all of those traits; at times I was envious. I am impulsive, boisterous, loud, and unfortunately violent at times. They say opposites attract. I have also heard that absence makes the heart grow fonder; I agree. Before I even realized it, Kevin and I were in a relationship.

The funny thing about love is that it will temporarily filter how you view and experience a person. Only the positive aspects and qualities show. The darkness within a person is temporarily shoved into a metaphorical closet of sorts. As time passes more unpleasanties are added. Suddenly one day the door to this "closet " bursts open, and you have a total mess. At least that's how Kevin described being with me. I feel like he got what he asked for. I was fine with being just friends with benefits, but he wanted a girlfriend so badly. Now look at us; what a mess.

I'll spare you the turbulent details of our screen worthy love affair. Things were rough, and I’ll admit I can be a piece of work. At times, I am insufferable. Kevin decided that he wanted to move back to New Jersey. He knew exactly what he was doing. I couldn’t move. I had family obligations, and the fact that I was on probation for aggravated assault left me stationary for the next two years. I also felt like I would never fit in the crowded streets of Newark.

I was really surprised when he pretended we were going on a date, only to pull up at a fucking psychology appointment! Can you believe this guy? He honestly thought that he was doing me a favor by implying that I was crazy. I can honestly say that he intentionally provoked me. When I punched him in his mouth, for a brief second, I thought that he was going to hit me. However, he did something even worse; he called the police. That night was the beginning of the end of our relationship.

As I take the final exit on my journey, I breathe a sigh of relief. "Are you happy Kevin? I drove all 16 stupid hours here!" I say this aloud, but it's obviously rhetorical. Besides Kevin had stopped trying to reason with me days ago.

Kevin thought that he could leave me , and go on with his life. After forcing his way into mine. I couldn’t let that happen. The best I could do was help him return home. I never think things through. After we arrive in Newark, I have no idea what to do with him. Maybe toss him into the Passaic? Well, what’s left of him. At least I kept my promise; he will be at home and I came to New Jersey with him.

Suddenly I feel a bit of jealousy. Here I am in his hometown, and I haven't received a single introduction. "Chivalry is as dead as you are Kevin!" I laugh at my own joke, as I stop to Google a riverfront date for us. Closure at it's finest.