A Saved Push

A Saved Push

All Three

Where I come from is a small town in North Carolina. The thought of a small town boy coming in a position making more than a hundred thousand dollars a year is amazing to me. “Keep pushin” is my friend Paul's favorite saying. I use that phrase when I hear others want to give up. Life does give us curveballs. It is up to us how we handle those curveballs. One thing I’ve learned is that numbers do not lie. It can tell a story. A few months ago my life changed. It was a normal day of work as usual. Paul was inspiring Sam to start his business. Paul does motivational speaking part time. The numbers was in his heart. It was to bring your son or daughter to work. I brought my son Clay to work. Clay enjoyed doing the ledgers with me. I think he might be doing this career in the future. Clay was five years old, but wise and very intelligent for his age. 

We know that Clay is a prodigy of the television show “Young Sheldon”. It was on that day Clay found the issue in the ledger. The ledger had some false numbers to a company we just got a contract with about three months ago. The company headquarters is in Seattle, Washington. Majority of the business transactions took place in China and Japan. Clay didn’t understand what he had found. My gut feeling knew this was bad in the worst way. Our friend George had been a private investigator for almost twenty years. I showed George the ledgers. He said, “This was serious.” He took pictures of the book to the police detective that night. Two days later, my feelings was right. My family was sent to a safe house, while I had bodyguards during my everyday activities. Time went by I thought this was foolish. Until, I was at work in the bathroom. A man attempted to kill me. During the attempt, the bodyguards saved me. I didn’t process this surreal experience. My wife and Clay were safe. Now, I could not talk to them, because it wasn’t safe. I wished Clay didn’t find those issues with those numbers. After that moment life wasn’t the same.  Sitting in this park when I’ve watched my son play brings me the most joy. I didn’t see my wife and Clay any more after all of this. Clay is about to graduate high school. Time doesn’t wait on no one. Tomorrow isn’t promised, but the simple joys of life are precious. A man sit beside me on the park bench. He was dressed as an old man. A needle pinched me. That is all I remembered. It’s very dark here. Silence will not make you afraid, it gives you a point of view on what you could have done differently. “Never give up” , until it is over. Everyone over isn’t the same, this was my change for the better or worse. The evaluation has not been easy. Slowly my breath is leaving my body, I can’t scream. I’m hoping someone saves me. In my ear I hear “keep pushin’, Erin”. Paul was there at the right time. This time “never give up” and “keep pushin’” had a different meaning. Today, I’m pushing, running and fighting for what isn’t visible but defining life purpose. 

They put me in the hospital, where they presumed me dead. I was free finally. Paul had to give up motivational speaking. He was creative. He still gets his satisfaction each day. We were all together, finally. I miss a lot of time with Clay. I made it in time for his high school graduation. He was thirteen years old. I do not know if he will be a doctor, college professor , etc. He has something very special about him. My wife's hair is turning gray. The beauty in her wisdom has made me fall in love with her more now than the day we met. She started her business that she told me about when we first met. She is doing well. Clay helps her with the technical side of her business. I went back to my numbers but not making the money I once was. It isn’t about the money, but family, peace and joy. 

Clay has a little girlfriend. I watch how he is with her. Amazing to me how my son is teaching me. Life is a lesson. The key is to learn from your family and friends. I remember an old man telling me “ don’t get old for nothing”. I didn’t understand it then. I do now. We learn, change and get wiser everyday. My life was attempted to be taken away twice. Normalcy is so precious to me. My wife gave me an old fashioned candy bar I used to eat a long time ago. She was shocked how happy I was. I told her death came to visit me twice. My family was taken away from me and I survived. The simple things are priceless.  I’m able to watch Clay to date and grow each day after all these years. The park where I used to play with him was my peace, joy and hope to see you all again. I get to wake up to smelling your fragrance, hearing you snore, Clay becoming a man and Paul building happiness in another form.  

Just to hold your hand sitting on the porch or car ride are the happiest things for me. Money doesn't mean anything to me. I can not take it with me if I die. No, I am not mad at Clay for finding those ledgers being falsified. I have a very intelligent son. I know he doesn’t remember what happened or understand what was happening. “Clay does know what happened, Erin.”

I fell on the sofa. “He does.” 

“How, why?”, I asked. My wife sat beside me, held my hand and took a deep breath. 

“Clay saved his push for you to come home”, replied my wife. “Remember how you and Paul had your sayings. Well, Clay saved his push for you.”

Clay gave his life to Christ. He prayed for you everyday and night. When something wasn’t right. He would pray. The day you came home to us. Clay told me a few days before you came. He said, “Mom, Dad is coming to us.”

You are here.