Bear

 As I sat at my office, going through the manila folders stacked so high I could barely see the scared little boy sitting there across from me. Shaking in his seat, dried, dirty tears had been running down his face for who knows how long. Holding on to his teddy bear tightly, peeking up from time to time to look at me, then he would look back down. I gently slid the golden bowl of tootsie roll pops across the table at him, and he reached up and quickly grabbed one, I said "Take one for your bear too!" He smiled up at me then and thats when I knew I could possibly get him to talk to me. Since I had been a young teenager, my dream was to be able to help kids who no one seemed to notice needed help. I wasn't quite sure how to really pursue this dream, I knew of many fields I could go into to help accomplish my goals, and do something with my life that I would enjoy for years to come. I knew that there would be alot of tears shed no matter which career I chose. That just comes with the territory of working with troubled, abused and neglected children. With alot of thought toward the future, I decided to become a child psychologist with hopes of opening a youth center in the future in the small town in Tennessee that I was born and raised in. A town full of abandon buildings, closed business, and boarded up houses for the most part. However, there was a small bowling alley and a trio cinema. Not alot of entertainment for the youth, except drugs and trouble.

 Sitting quietly across from me still, the little guy had unwrapped his lollipop and was sitting in his seat looking at it as if he'd never seen one before in his life span of only eight years old. Travis Jones was his name, and he had been brought in by a social service worker who had taken him from school after his mother had never returned to his elementary school to pick him up a week prior. Later authorities had informed them that Travis's mother had taken his two younger sisters and a younger brother to a nearby national park, after dosing them with sleeping medicine, drove her car off a cliff, killing all of her children and herself, leaving the oldest boy, Travis to tend to himself. The childrens father had ran off several months before with another woman, and he had signed his parental rights away, and was never heard from again. Even with the news of his estranged wife's death making national headlines, there was no concern from him, and the department of children services had no hope of hearing from him. Ever. 

 In spite of everything though, I felt so much hope for the child. With no mother nor father, or aunts, uncles and grandparents for that matter, all of which were deceased or just didn't exist. I knew that with my help along with the state of Tennessee, we wouldn't stop until we had placed the child in a loving home, and we worked out a strategy plan with his new family to make sure Travis was properly counseled threw the next few months and even years if needed. After something like this, I was sure he would benefit greatly from lifelong counseling. But that would be up to him if he continued after the age of sixteen. After that age, they pretty much decide for themselves what is best for them. So we don't force it on them if they don't want it. Usually after the wild teenage years and the confusion of early twenties is over, most patients who started therapy at a young age always seemed to find their way back after closing in on the age of thirty. I think we all need therapy by the age of thirty!

 Finally, after skimming over Travis's file, pretending to freshen up on his information when in reality I was just trying to decide how to introduce myself into this broken little boys life.

 "Hello there, Mr. Travis. How are you and your teddy bear doing today? What is his name?" I said to him, nodding toward the brown bear in his arms.

 "I don't know yet, I've only had him a few days." Travis said shyly to me.

 "We'll that's okay." I said, "I used to have a cat when I was younger, I spent so long deciding on her name that I just ended up calling her 'Cat' for about three years!"

 Travis laughed at that. Seemingly more comfortable now, I decided to go ahead and start asking Travis the one question I was dreading most.

 "So, Travis, my name is Marissa and I am going to be meeting with you today, and hopefully if you enjoy talking to me, we will meet often to talk and chat about things." I said carefully, not to seem too nervous myself. I had had a few challenging cases, but this one, I was heartbroken over. No child deserves to be left to face the unknown alone.

 "Do you know why your meeting with me today, Travis?" I said, staring into his eyes as I spoke. "Did Ms. Allison tell you why you were coming here today?" Ms. Allison was Travis's temperary foster mother. She worked with the state and took in almost every orphan in the early stages of their relocation.

 "Because everyone that lived in my house with me died." Travis said, looking bored now. Poking at the bear and swinging his feet back and forth in his chair.

 "Yes, Travis that's right. Do you want to talk about that today with me?" I spoke slowly as I said it to him.

 "Do I have to today? I'm not sad today. I was a little sad yesterday, but today I don't feel very sad." Travis looked around as he said it. Clearly very bored.

 "No, we don't have to talk about that today. We can talk about anything you want to. If you don't feel up to chatting much I have some coloring books across the room there if you'd like we can just sit and color for awhile." I said, knowing that most times when the younger kids came in, the first few visits included alot of coloring, and looking at books and playing games. It always seemed to help get the younger ones into a comfort zone with me. It was easier said than done sometimes, but usually it worked eventually, and within just a few visits, they would be chatting away.

 As I sat down at the tiny childrens table in my office, Travis looked up at me confused. "Are you gonna color too Mrs. Marissa?" "Well of course!" I said "I love to color. I always make time to sit down and color!"

 We colored for about forty-five minuets, and it was nearing the end of our first appointment. I had given Travis graham crackers and a fruit drink during our coloring session and he seemed satisfied and happy. I told him our time was up for the day and that I really enjoyed coloring and that it was so nice to meet his bear friend. Then, I took a deep breath and I asked the child if he would like to meet with me again next week, he looked up at me then and smiled. "I'd really like to, even if I am sad next week." I asked him then, "Do you think you will be sad next week?" he thought about his answer before he said "I don't know yet, but if I'm not then my bear might be."

 I smiled down at him then, and replied "Well, ya know, if that happens, then maybe you can tell me everything that your bear is sad about." He smiled then and said "Okay, Mrs. Marissa, I will come back and next week and bring Bear," "Bear?" I asked him, "Yea, I was doing some thinking when we were coloring, and I think Bear is a good name, and next week when you ask me his name I'll just say it for him, and then I can tell you if he tells me he's sad."

 "Okay, Travis, that sounds lovely, and just so you know, I think that 'Bear' is a wonderful name. It's probably what I'd name my bear if I had one." I stated.

 "It's what my mom used to call me." Travis said then, and I could feel tears welling up in my eyes then as Ms. Allison gently knocked on the door and asked if Travis was ready to go.

 "Yes, he's ready, until next week anyway." I said smiling, feeling confident that I could help Travis get threw things he may not even be aware he will soon be facing. I wasn't sure if Travis understood that his family was gone forever and that he would never see them again. But the following week, when Travis came in to see me, along with his brown 'Bear' he had another bear, a pink one.

 "Travis!" I exclaimed, "Who is Bear's new friend?"

 "This is Bearbie, she's for you. I figured maybe they could talk to each other through us, it wouldn't be fair for you not to have anyone to talk to when Bear is talking to me. Maybe Bear could talk to Bearbie about why he is sad and I can talk to you about why I am sad."

 I looked at Travis then, and over joyed with hope for this boy I said "That sounds wonderful Travis, would you like to color or talk today?"

 "Talk!" Travis said. And with that I have total faith that Travis will be able to became a very productive member of society, not letting his past control his future and maybe be able to help someone else one day!