Jonas

Caution: mild references to sexual abuse of children and pedophilia.

Katy hadn't seen Jonas in years. Knowing he would be at his father's funeral was one thing. Would he acknowledge her? This was another matter entirely. 

Jonas had always been the type of man to turn heads. If he didn't have such dark and irresistible looks, some things, including embarrassing moments, may not have happened. They had affected her, still affected her, in ways he had no clue of. It's the horrible feeling one gets after the right words aren't spoken at the opportune time. A reluctance to blurt them out at the wrong moment has left them redundant. Just the knowledge that all she wanted to do was hide from him because what she thought he knew was never the truth, left her apprehensive. Or was it the truth? 

When he spotted her at the after-funeral reception, he smiled, waved, and came over. She steeled herself to not wither in embarrassment. 

"Hello, Katy. It's so nice to see you. Thank you so much for coming. You haven't changed a bit. You're still beautiful, with your lovely blond hair." He sighed and his eyes twinkled.

"I wouldn't have missed supporting you and your family. Your father was such a kind man. I have fond memories of him and your mother . . . I'm so sorry I missed your mother's funeral."

"I thought you would have been there." 

"The truth is, I found out after the fact. No one told me. I managed to get hold of Paulette, your sister, and expressed my condolences through her."

"She told me. You came alone?" 

She felt her usual discomfort and sensed herself turning a rosy shade before him. An internal reprimand whispered, "Don't be silly. None of that matters anymore. He's forgotten." 

"My-my husband is at home with the children." 

He looked around and leaned close to her ear. "You look uncomfortable. Shall we get out of here? Meet you in the garden in ten." He nonchalantly turned away. "Nice seeing you here, Katy." He walked away to speak to someone else after turning back to give her a conspiratorial wink.

Her heart did not miss a beat. It never did around Jonas. She looked around for his wife, Alexis. A petite little woman with red hair. Very ordinary compared to her husband's dashing looks. She had her back to Katy on the far side of the room, deep in conversation with one of the friends. Katy often felt that Alexis had insecurities. Alexis adored Jonas but always appeared concerned that he had married her, not one of the beauties who chased him. Jonas always acted indifferently around Katy when Alexis stood beside him. Or he would excuse himself from Katy when Alexis was close by. Women know these things. Yet, if Alexis knew the absolute truth, she might have been more worried. 

***

 Katy and Jonas knew each other as children. The fact that Jonas was six years older greatly affected the dynamics of their friendship. He had his first and only O.E. as a seventeen-year-old. Derek, a Dutchman and friend of Jonas' family, took the young man under his wing. They built a boat together, among other projects, thus Jonas became a builder. Katy's mother, Estrid, is Dutch and got on with Derek and his wife, Nelly. In conversation, Derek discovered that Estrid had a very long basement that became the ideal home for a newly built mast for the yacht. He regularly came around to check it and catch up with the family, and he would always tell them how Jonas was doing.

 When Derek decided to sail the world in his newly built yacht, he took on Jonas as one of the crew. His parents thought it would be an excellent experience for him. Katy conversed with Jonas about the upcoming trip. She wished she could have gone, too. It seemed like a great adventure. School girls missed out on all the fun. 

"Katy, I don't know if you'd survive. You're too young. You really learn what people are like when a sailing trip has difficulties. Storms at sea freak people out. Or they don't get over their seasickness. They become a burden and blubber like babies. That would be you."

"Oh no, it wouldn't. I'm very good at holding myself together."

"You still play with dolls!" 

"I do not. I don't even sleep with my teddy anymore." 

"Since when? Last year, when we went camping, you went everywhere with that little doll. And you fell into the lake while leaving the fishing boat and had to be rescued." Katy blushed. This had been the most humiliating time in her life. Her mother had stripped her down to her undies, and Jonas carried her back to the camp on his back. The chill factor alone demanded the removal of wet clothing, and it wouldn't have been fair for anyone to carry a shivering child in dripping wet clothes. No one gave her a stitch to cover her bare torso. 

The friends, their friends, and their kids did many different things together. Sightseeing, beach trips, fishing trips, farm trips, tramping trips. Katy occupied herself, building huts. At a young age, Jonas showed he loved to build. He could be called on to make a hut secure and better than Katy could imagine. You could say Jonas and Katy knew each other. Familiarity didn't breed contempt. They communed well. Until the thought of the most embarrassing moment came to mind. Her complexion would glow pink, and she'd move away. 

While the men were away on their sailing trip, Derek often sent postcards to Jonas's mother, Raylene, from their ports of call. Raylene wasn't happy with what she read. Jonas, whose hair had become long, and Jonas, who attracted every pretty girl from everywhere because he was so tall, dark, and handsome. She expressed her concerns about it to Katy's mother, Estrid.

Her mother reinforced how bad Jonas was for not thinking about how his mother would feel. 

'"Mom, they are far from a hairdresser. I bet Uncle Derek thinks Auntie Raylene would be proud of how Jonas is growing up."

"How would you know? There's growing up and growing up. That Jonas is going to get himself into trouble."

 "He is old enough, Mom." Katy thought about how helpful Jonas had been as a friend. What her mother said made no sense. She was too young to understand hormones' role in growing up—until she did. Then she couldn't believe that sense and reason often didn't have a part in it. She made herself sensible.

 Another memory bothered her as she grew older. Before Jonas' older sister babysat them and before her father left them, they had an earlier babysitter - their father's younger brother, Uncle Phil. He was young enough to be loads of fun. He would play ball games, play fighting, and tell them stories. Katy snuck out of bed when her parents went out and begged for another story. It became a habit, and if she didn't get up, Phil would get her up and tell her another. She loved him. One day, he introduced her to a new game, and after deciding that this new game was too disturbing, she would pretend to be fast asleep if he came in. She would clutch her sheet and blankets tightly and not move a muscle. Her sister slept in the other bed, and she hoped Phil wouldn't want to make noise and wake her. But he warned her he would tell her parents how bad she had been if she told anyone. It became a more distant memory with each passing year. 

Even when her mother taught her stranger danger, she didn't make the connection. She knew Uncle Phil well.

When her father left them, he took them out each Sunday afternoon. Her mother seemed unhappy about it. Katy felt disloyal about enjoying herself. Sometimes, they went to the movies, the beach, the play park, or his mother's house. Granny loved them and spoiled them with chocolate biscuits and cordial. Phil would play rough-and-tumble and hide-and-seek with her younger brother and sister. Katy went into the lounge to draw pictures or read a book and would have nothing to do with him. 

Her mother warned her of an essential factor to remember when they had visits with their father. "Katy, when you all go out, never, ever let him take either of your little sisters to the toilet. Never let either of them go away with him alone. Keep them close." This triggered the memory of Uncle Phil. She developed an aversion towards men. Her mother never explained the reasons she had warned her. It wasn't a warning about all men - just her father. As a grownup, she reflected on what her mother had meant. It was not what she had understood as a child. But her mother didn't know the truth about Phil. How can a child be told that their father has a sickness, a perversion, that has resulted in trouble with the police more than once? Katy eventually worked it all out from snippets of conversations she heard over the years. 

Her father married an older woman with a daughter older than his children. They met their stepsister, Veronica. She was lovely, funny, and clever, and adored them. 

The marriage never lasted. Katy's father became too interested in Veronica. None of that concerned Katy. For all she knew, he could have spent too much time talking with her over dinner. But she did become concerned, in fact devastated, when later she heard her father had married a sixteen-year-old. Katy, at seventeen, then had to accept that her father was not like most other men. He viewed women in a different way, a selfish way. He hadn't supported his family financially nor provided the emotional support they needed. It left her empty. Accepting it as an unalterable fact helped until something else happened—something even her healthy friendship with Jonas couldn't heal. Jonas found trouble. 

Katy was still attending High School when she heard about the shocking scandal. Raylene, Jonas's mother, told Estrid, Katy's mother, about it.

Jonas would walk home from the Polytechnic each weekday up a steep hill. Before the incline, there lived a young lady and her mother. Her mother worked. One day, the lady was out at the gate when Jonas passed. With his devastating good looks, she, a pretty young woman, albeit older than Jonas, was instantly attracted to him. She struck up a conversation and then waited for him each day. They got to know each other, and he eventually went inside, which developed into an affair. Katy never found out how his parents found out, but Jonas was in a heap of trouble over it. He stopped seeing this older woman. 

When Katy's father found out it was Veronica, he was livid. He had been booted out for having wandering eyes, and Jonas had ended up in the bed he had been accused of coveting. He took it out on Katy's mother by running down Jonas and his family to make himself look falsely accused. Veronica was a cougar; Jonas was the predator, and it was also blamed on his parents. How could this family be such good friends of Estrid's? 

"I don't ever want any of my girls to marry him. Disgusting!" she raged. 

Even as a teen, Katy felt sorry for Jonas. After all, she'd accepted that men do such things. Katy left home at seventeen for a flat in the city with some friends and an older girl named Lizzie. By then, Jonas had become a builder. They became friends again. 

*** 

Katy carried her glass of wine and went out into the garden. She walked over to the pergola and sheltered beneath it. A creeping chocolate vine made it a shady place to sit. She saw Jonas come out and look around. He spotted her and came over.

"I wasn't sure you'd show," he said. I'll remember this forever—you and me in such a lovely setting. I hope you won't drink too much this time." 

'That time I hadn't eaten; you plied us with bubbly, and it went straight to my head. Embarrassing. You took me upstairs and put me to bed, all giggly and stupid. You left after that." 

"I must say, seeing your colorful room back then made me see you in a new light—all teal, white, navy, and orange. That time, I came to a party at the flat and dared you to pour your coffee over me—and you did. The way you danced—all grown up and so different." He sighed.

Katy didn't smile. "I grew up at an early age, Jonas. I acted like a princess to leave home with my parent's blessing. Then I had to find myself." 

"Did you ever find yourself? I worried about you when you married that no-hoper. Then you shocked us all by leaving him within two years."

"Let's say he literally knocked some sense into me. But, worried? You married Alexis but didn't even invite me to your wedding." 

"Your parents were there. You were so young, and I thought you would be uncomfortable after Lizzie told me the truth . . . I was already going out with Alexis." 

"If it's the same truth she told my parents, I can tell you it was a lie." Katy's eyes flashed. 

"A lie?" Jonas looked unsure.

"Lizzie loved you. She was older than you and way older than me, but she loved you. She harassed and harassed me constantly. Warned my parents about us." 

"She told me you screamed and yelled at her in a jealous rage. I couldn't believe it. You never gave me any indication you had feelings. It was too late, anyway. . . Alexis." 

"You think you are so good-looking that every girl you meet is in love with you! I was incapable of loving. Lizzie telling my parents was so mean-spirited. My mother hates you. They gave me an awful time about it. That's why I yelled at Lizzie. How could she cause such a rotten business . . . I have always defended you." Katy looked at him with tears in her eyes.

"Good grief! What from? Why does your mother hate me?"

"Because of Veronica." 

Jonas opened his mouth and stared at this bombshell. "But how do you know about Veronica?" 

"Because she is my stepsister! My father's stepdaughter. The fact that it was you added fuel to the fire."

"So, we never had a chance, did we?" He shook his head and exhaled. 

"It's not your fault. My Uncle molested me, my father is a pervert, you got into the bed of someone he fancied, and my mother never liked you much to start with. All I've ever been told is not to marry you." 

"I never knew. I'm devastated. We've been friends . . ." 

"I never judged you," said Katy. 

"You were the one I would have done anything for. I would never have hurt you."

"And Lizzie knew that and hated me for it. But she had nothing to fear. Because of that time at the lake, I always felt embarrassed around you. Now I know that you tried to save me from that." She laughed and shook her head. 

He looked pained. "I sensed your embarrassment and piggybacked you to hide your front. I felt sorry for you even though you were young . . . I'd rather have held you in my arms." 

"I did like you as a friend, but I had too many things to work through. When I told my mother what happened to me as a child and pleaded, 'Don't tell anyone,' She did. She wanted to hurt my father and justify keeping us away from his awful family. How could she have betrayed my trust?"

"It all makes sense now. I'm sorry we didn't talk about it before . . . Are you happy now?"

"I'm married to a good man and have beautiful children." 

"Same here. Alexis is lovely."

"She is. Let's leave the past in the past now, shall we?" They smiled at each other knowingly and returned to the others. 

The End