A Dog At The Door

I lift my pen to write, but my mind is blank. And so I stop, my hand dropping down in defeat. I was diagnosed with depression... one of my friends recommended getting a therapist, or a pet at least but I can’t afford either of those. I was back home after a tiring day at work, settled in my favourite place by the window sill, a book in hand, legs dangling lazily.

 I peer out my open window, at the window opposite to mine, wondering who lived there. It was a favourite pastime of mine. Thinking, musing about life in general. But suddenly, without a warning, my mind plunges into those bright old days when I had first met the love of my life-Jace.

It was a sunny day as I sat in my favourite café, coffee in hand when I saw him. Tall, tanned… and his hair so perfectly messy I wanted to run my hands through it. I still don’t know if it was intentional or not, but he dropped his wallet as he reached my table. I didn’t bend to pick it up. “Hey,” he says getting up, brushing his messy bangs away from his eyes. ”Hey” was all I could say. “Are you... waiting for someone?” he asked, ”Mind if I sit here?” I couldn’t believe my luck. Soon, we get into casual talk and that's when Jace asks, “Have you seen me anywhere before?” entrapping me in those beautiful dark eyes of his. “No” I continued ”Why?”

“Because I feel like I’ve known you for quite a while.”

Then we met and chatted..everything went normal. But things got dark when he left me. When he stopped messaging one day. Just like that. The days of wait and hope was torture... Soon days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months, when I finally had to accept the truth. He was gone for good.

I now sit at The Pizza Dome restaurants table, exhausted. It was raining outside. “A pizza here!” a man orders from a table to my right. I wish I could order one for myself, too… I think. “What do you think you’re doing here?” my coworker Tom asks, stopping at my table ”Go get that order” he sneers. Yes, I work as a waitress who manages to scrape together a meal a day. Therapists and dogs were the last things on my mind. “I said one Pizza!” the man yells again, shooting me a look. I want to snap at him, at his fortune that he gets to eat out at restaurants without worrying he’ll go hungry for the rest of the week, at the fancy dish he’s eating. But I’m reminded of my unpaid bills and I hold my tongue, bowing and making my way over to the kitchen.

I was carrying a particularly huge pile of washed plates over to the counter when I suddenly trip and my body lunges forward. Everything seems to go in slow motion as I helplessly watch the dishes crash to the ground one by one, each dish breaking into irrecoverable bits that seem to make beautiful constellations on the kitchen tiles.

I lie there on the ground, hoping I’d somehow never wake up again, hoping I’d just die right there. But no, I didn’t.

I hear footsteps approaching and I can already guess its the supervisor.

“Tch..tch..” I sit up as he looms over me arms crossed, watch glinting. ”Nikki, Nikki... time after time I had requested my boss to get rid of you and your clumsiness, but he gave you a second chance… And now, look at you... ” he smirks.

“So without further ado... let us get rid of you” the supervisor says, extending his hand to help me up. Not touching his hand, I get up. I was done. Done with the rich treating us poor this way, done with life treating me this way. And so it’s time. I’ve held my tongue for so long, but its high time I tell these people what I thought about them.

And tell him, I did. Words pour out of my mouth as if they were meant to be said all along, as if it was all hanging on the tip of my tongue. As my anger slowly melted away and the expression on his face gradually changed, it gave my shrunken heart a little solace- if only even a little bit.

“Get out,” he said, “just get out!” as I’m yanked away by some waiters and shoved out the back door.

And that’s how I ended up in the pouring rain, clothes drenched, rainwater and tears running down my face.

As I sit at the kitchen table still dripping wet, that’s when I hear scratching at the door.

I open it to see a poor little stray Beagle looking up at me, eyes wide. Its whining seemed to break my heart and so I let the little thing trot into the house, leaving a muddy trail behind it. Oh, this one's going to keep me busy, I think.

The next day I wake up early in the morning, made coffee, ate breakfast…and then I didn’t know what to do. So I sat at the window sill, book in hand, wondering how long it’ll take until I turn homeless. And that’s when the window opposite to mine slides open, revealing a face that I both yearned to see, yet never wanted to see again. It was Jace.

We stared at each other for how long, I don’t know. As I looked into those dark eyes I felt myself falling for him all over again. Those long lost, beautiful memories all came flowing back to me, clouding my mind. “Um... a very good morning,” he says, looking uncomfortable. My voice suddenly seems to have gone missing. “Ah… see you later, then” he says, closing the window. I don’t know for how long but I sit there, staring at the closed window. Now I knew who lived there.

Later that evening, as I sit in front of the computer looking for job offers, my phone rings. It was Jace. I pause for a while before picking the call. “Hello?” I say, uncertain ”Hello, miss Nikki?” he asks. Why so formal? “Yeah...” I reply. ”Look, I need you back, I’m sorry.. let's talk this over... meet you at The Pizza Dome at 7 tomorrow?” I didn’t know what to say. “Sure” and the call ends.

I don’t know why, but I actually dress up and do my hair the next morning. I and the beagle who I had named ‘Brownie’, have grown quite close by now. A mere bark of his seemed to brighten my day. Kissing him, I make my way over to the restaurant. Finally, I’m seated at a table in the very restaurant I was thrown out of, waiting for Jace. The mascara felt pretty itchy. Why am I even doing this? I ask myself for the hundredth time that day…I guess hope came before pride. So I sat there patiently, waiting for the time I could lose myself in those dark eyes again. Suddenly through the crowd, I spot the supervisor in the distance, making his way to my table. The supervisor?! Now a row between me and the supervisor was the last thing I wanted Jace to see. I try to scoot out of my table, but I’m too late. The supervisor stands in front of my table, an unreadable expression on his face. And then I hear him say the unbelievable.

”I’m sorry for yesterday, Nikki.”

“What?” I ask in disbelief. He leans in. ”The boss got to know about yesterday, and he needs you back. It seems according to the contract, dismissing employees without prior notice isn’t legal.” “I’ll get my job back?!” I ask, suddenly ecstatic,” Yeah, yeah… Look, girl...I’m apologizing just cause I don’t want to lose my job, okay...I need my daily bread, you know?” he says gruffly. I say nothing but watch his spotless shoes as he swiftly walks away.

Seconds later as we stand across from each other, Jace seems to look confused. “Are you sure this is the employee you were talking about?” he asked, turning to the supervisor. What's going on? I think. ”Yes sir”, the supervisor replies walking away, leaving us in awkward silence. ”Um… Sorry, I-I misunderstood you as another Nikki working here-“, but I cut him off “I do work here.” I see a look of disgust flit across his face for a moment. ”You called me,” I said, “and you told that you wanted me back.” I finish, eyes boring into his.

“Ah, well… you see, I’m the boss of this restaurant.”

I felt my heart breaking all over again as the meaning of those words sink in. ”So you see..” Jace continued ”I wanted you back as an –employee—in this organization, and not..” he suddenly looked uncomfortable ”Oh.” “Thank you... pleasure working with you,” he says and briskly walks away. He wants me back, huh? That stupid contract of his… I’ll never set foot in this hotel again if my life depended on it.

The last thing I remember was that I was back again at the windowsill, mascara trails running down my cheeks.

I jerk awake when something wet touches my cheek. It takes me a few moments to register why a dog was inside my house, but when it does, I place my hand on brownies head, smiling. His presence suddenly made everything much brighter. He licked my face, panting, and kept turning in the direction where his bowl was kept. “Aw, someone’s hungry!” I say kissing him, getting up to give him a few scraps of leftover food. He looks up at me. ”I’m sorry, buddy. I haven’t got much..” I say looking down at him, feeling sad for him. Brownie suddenly seems to brighten up, now running towards the door, ecstatically scratching it. ”Oh, want to go for a walk?” I purr, opening the door for him. And as I watch him bound and roll happily on the grass outside, I felt that in the end, I was able to own a dog, after all.

The sun was setting, the sky a beautiful hue of pink, and Brownie lay next to me, my hand resting on his head. It was such a perfect time to…write. And so for once, I let go of everything on my mind. I let go of the memories torturing my tired mind, of people who didn’t want me anymore. I draw the curtain close and lift my pen to write. But this time, I don’t stop.