Cold Shower

I stand there. As the water flows over my smooth damp face, while I lather my hair with shampoo. My eyes are closed, to protect them from the sharp pressure of the water. I can only imagine what is going on around me, because all I can see is black. I am breathing through my mouth to control the water from getting into my lungs. I wish to stay here forever.

I emerge from the water as it drips down my nude body. I open my eyes and the bright light from the bathroom blinds me and a couple drops of water spray into my newly open eyes. They sting, but not enough to make me flinch.

The water turns cold, but I don't try to fix it. The water feels fresh, crisp, and it is waking me. I like the way the water feels as I stare out the window at the rain. I picture myself outside in the natural shower, the freedom that comes with it. Thinking about how my bathroom is confining me between a wall and a curtain.

I finish washing the soap from my hair and start conditioning it. Meanwhile soaping my body with my lavender scented body wash. The frigid water is still running down my legs, but I am now numb. Not completely, but like I am in the ocean during summer. Cold enough to make you scream, but after a while it is refreshing and cool.

I open the curtain and reach for my towel hanging on the door. I quickly cover myself because of the shivers that just crept up my spine. The cool air makes my skin glow as I moisturize it thoroughly to prevent any dryness. I put my clean clothes on that are warm from sitting on the heater. I wrap my still damp hair into a turban and open the bathroom door.

My bathroom door creaks, and I step out into my hallway. It is empty and at low light. The clouds outside only let a small amount of sunshine in. A drowsy day. One for books, movies, and tea. A day I will make the best out of because I cannot play outside.

I lay in my double bed, my sheets just washed, my blankets warm and toasty. I grab my remote to turn on my favorite show. It is about crime in the city, and a man who always finds out who did it. I imagine myself in that exact city, solving puzzles and crimes everyday. I dream to be a detective and one day be as dramatically filmed as these actors on screen.

I make myself some green tea with honey. The hot water feels good as I hold the mug filled with tea in my hands. I sip it slowly because my mouth cannot handle the scorching water. I put the cup down to get under my covers and feel the sheets touch my bare legs. The warm blankets feel amazing on my newly shaven legs. I feel warm and safe in my bed. Although, my window keeps showing me the freedom I yearn for. I want to go outside and lay in the sun, as it warms my legs just like the blanket is. I close my eyes and imagine myself in nature. Laying on the grass as the sun blinds me from the clear blue sky.

I open my eyes to only get disappointed by a white bland ceiling. I look around my room thinking about things to do because I am stuck for the day. My laundry is done, my shoes are put away and I have already organized everything possible. I am officially out of things to do.

I want to make plans for tomorrow to fill the time. I check the weather app to make sure tomorrow is sunny and beautiful.

Looks like I am going to be inside the rest of the week.

My head starts to spin. There is no way the house is what I am confined to for the rest of the week. I want to explore and feel the fresh air wrap around my lungs. The air in my house is starting to get stuffy and horrible.

I go to my nail kit. I want a fresh new color. A fresh new start before I blow my brains out from being in my room forever. I pick the color red. It's bright and reminds me of the leaves outside during fall.

Fall reminds me of homecoming football games with friends. Cheering for your team as it gets dark and you get cold. You go to get a blanket from the back of your car to bear the cold and stay to support your school. I wish I was doing that right now. I wish I was with my friends, to celebrate us. To celebrate making it this far. They are all busy, and I am bored out of my mind.

My nails are all painted and I hold them out too dry. As I am sitting here not using my hands, scared to smudge to beautiful paint job, I just close my eyes again to imagine more good times.

My friend Macys hair is shimmering in the bright sun. Sitting next to her is Alex, my other friend. They are both laughing and digging their hands in the warm buttery popcorn I made. Not a worry in the world because we are only focused on that day. Suddenly, my mind shifts. We are running in a field full of flowers and I am happy.

I feel stuck. More than ever I want to scream but no sound comes out. What is happening. Why do I feel like I am trapped, confined, when I could just walk out of my house. I get up, spilling my tea on the ground but I don't care. I just need to get out.

I open the door and run for the stairs but everything turns white. I pass out.

I open my eyes to smiling faces, and tears of joy. My mom and dad are there. My best friends Macy and Alex. I am facing the ceiling and it looks to me like a hospital. Did I hit my head that hard?

No.

I heard the doctor explain that I had woken up from a coma.

A coma.

Huh. Well, what do you know.