No Resolutions Needed

Will was struggling to keep his attention off of the geometric patterns he doodled in his notebook and focus instead on class discussion. It was the first week of his new semester at college, and it was a week of awkward icebreakers that no college student actually wanted to be a part of. In this class, the icebreaker theme was New Year’s resolutions. Students were expected to share their own resolution with the class out loud. The answers were a familiar chorus of less tv, more gym, and eating healthier food, until eventually, the attention had shifted to Will.

“I don’t make New Year’s resolutions,” he stated simply. Then he quickly turned his attention back to the doodles, hiding the grin that followed his satisfaction in defying the expectations of his peers. He did not take this stance just for the satisfaction, but he did enjoy a good reaction. He never made resolutions. He did not see the point, because people rarely followed through with the resolutions they made anyway. And why did it have to be made at this exact time in the year? Time was a human conception; there was nothing special about when a year starts, other then the significance culture had created. 

“Oh, you don’t have anything to work on?” pushed the professor. The way he asked aggravated Will, and the smirks on his classmate’s faces propelled that feeling. 

Heat rose to his cheeks, “Call me perfect,” was all he said. The class laughed, and the professor moved on. He grinned again, people were so simple. He thought about how quickly each peer would give up on their personal goal. The redhead seemed like the type to find meaning in the TV shows she consumed. That girl that would be in line at every Comic Con signing for her favorite actors. He doubted her television hiatus was going to make it through the week. He smiled again noticing the McDonald’s fountain soda cup that accompanied Healthy Eater Resolutioner #3. Eventually the class was dismissed. 

He was relieved for the dismissal, because a headache had been coming on. As he made his way to his next class building he lit a cigarette and observed his surroundings. He saw two girls jogging around the outskirts of campus. He laughed aloud, “Ah two more ‘I’m gonna exercise this year’ resolutioners.” He gave it two weeks maximum for the girls. He noted the nice quality of one of their sneakers. Perhaps a month. They had at least slightly invested in this idea. He arrived at his next class building with five minutes to spare. He dropped his old cigarette, crushed it under his boot, and lit another. 

He wondered if he were to make a resolution, what would it have been? He was doing well in all his classes, despite the minimal effort he put forward. He was on his way to a well paying career, and Tinder had proved to be an all-encompassing solution to all his previous troubles in getting laid. Life was great. He watched another girl walk by. She seemed lost in thought, and she was wearing a jacket that could have easily come from his grandmother’s closet. She needed a resolution in fashion, he thought, tossing his other cigarette on the ground. Another boring business class meant even more boring icebreakers. 

“Today we are going to share our resolutions for the New Year.” His economics professor announced. Will attempted to hide his eye roll and turned his notebook back to the page of doodles. Time to pick up where he left off. He ignored the same chorus of healthy habits as the discussion circled the room, and when the conversation finally approached him he prepared his same answer from before. Before he could speak, the class door opened. It was the girl he had noticed earlier, the grandma jacket one, and she took the empty seat to his left. 

“We’ll pick up with you before we get to this gentlemen, here.” The professor informed her. “What is your name and your New Year's resolution?”

“I’m Clara.” She began, “And this New Year I want to kick my cigarette habit.” Will glanced at Clara, she had not seemed like the smoker type. He waited for her eyes to meet his, but as the class turned their attention to him, Clara just proceeded to pull out her notebook and class materials. 

“I don’t make resolutions.” He repeated. This time the teacher didn’t push on the statement, but he got the same surprised reactions from his fellow classmates. His smirk didn’t return this time however, something felt different. He glanced at Clara. No smile, no surprise, in fact no reaction at all. She had become focused on her own spiral doodling. Will frowned, but the discussion moved on, until class had ended.

On his way out, Will made an effort to follow Clara’s path. “Can I borrow a light?” he inquired. 

She turned on him with a look of confusion. “I don’t smoke.” She started to walk away, and Will tried to form a sentence, call her out for what she had said earlier, but his head hurt too much for the conversation. She was lost to the crowd and he pulled out another cigarette, quickly alleviating the pain. He had his own lighter anyway, he had just been curious about her. 

That was his last class for the day. Now he could head home to his apartment. On his way home he thought about the possible New Year’s resolutions of the people he passed. He thought about how Clara had wanted to kick the cigarette habit. He didn’t see it as a problem for himself, if he wanted to quit he would. If he had anything worth working on this New Year he would make a goal, but life was great. 

He stopped at the gas station on his way home and picked up another pack of cigarettes. He stopped for his mail when he reached the apartment lobby. Another notice about his late rent. He needed to pick up more shifts at work. Upon entering his apartment, he pulled out his laptop and found his economics class page. He searched the list of students for a Clara. She was nowhere to be found. He shrugged it off, perhaps he was recalling her name incorrectly. He added his empty carton of cigarettes to the pyramid he had started on his shelf. He turned on the TV, it was a special on New Year’s Resolutions. He rolled his eyes, thank god he was above that.