A smile

It has already been three weeks since I started seeing that dreaded thing from the corner of my eyes. Be it my room, living room, the bathroom or even on the maple tree that can be seen through my window. It would be sitting and staring. Staring deep into my soul.

At least it seemed like it was staring into my soul. I have no way of knowing what exactly it's looking at since it can't talk nor do I want to approach that demonic-looking stuffed doll.

Even now it is staring at me. Sitting innocently on top of the wooden cupboard that stands at the corner of my room, right next to my study table; like that is where it should be. Bright emerald-green eyes, orange hair tied into two neat braids, body draped with a deep blue fancy dress and most of all, that eerie black curve that stretches across its pale face from left to right, that is, its smile. If anybody saw it, they would describe it as a beautiful doll.

"If" anybody could, that is.

I asked my family if they could see "it", but all I got was weird looks. I laughed it off as me just messing with them. It is really exhausting to have something staring at me all day long and the fact that I am the only one who sees it doesn't help.

It is strange that I know exactly how it looks like despite never having made direct eye contact with it. Whenever I tried to look, it would vanish into thin air and pop up somewhere else. Somewhere within my peripheral vision.

I decided to ignore the trivial stuff since I have been losing sleep due to that damned thing which continues to smile at me. Now it feels like its just having fun watching me suffer. I swear the first thing I will do once it comes into my hands is to rip off that smile.

To figure out how I got that thing attached to me, I decided to write down the places I went to and what I did prior to the day I first saw it. So I sat down on my table, flipped opened a notebook and grabbed a pen. Noting to myself that the doll was still on the cupboard, I started writing.

Three weeks ago, I stayed at my home all day long like I had been doing since a month. I woke up, brushed my teeth, took a bath, had breakfast, surfed the internet and watched random videos in my room, had lunch, played puzzle games on my PC, had dinner and went back to sleep. The exact routine I have been following since the day I stopped going to school.

So the possibility of it following me back home is gone.

The number of classmates who hate me enough to put some shady curse on me is zero. Well, the number of friends I have is also zero.

Thus, the possibility of being cursed, out of spite, by someone goes down the drain as well.

Suddenly I felt the doll's gaze sharpening, sending chills down my spine. I Instinctively turned my head to the top right corner of the room, at the cupboard, to look. But it was gone.

Now I could feel its gaze from my table. I froze. This is the first time it has come this close to me. I could feel my throat drying up and chest tightening. I tried to breathe but I couldn't. Was breathing always this difficult?

Is it still there? I can see those orange strands of hair from the corner of my left eye so I guess it is. Is it really there though? I might be imagining things. It is my imagination right? This can't be real. Wait. Is it approaching me now? I swear I saw it coming close-

Oh my god. Someone stop this damn thing from coming close to me! I can't bear it anymore! This is suffocating as hell. I feel like someone shoved a spiky rock down my throat.

My body was frozen stiff but mind was all over the place.

This is just like what happened to me at school. The teacher called out to me to answer a question but all I could do was stare at him with my mouth open, without being able to choke out any comprehensible words. I knew the answer but I couldn't say it.

Nobody laughed out loud but I heard a few chuckles from the back. It absolutely broke my already low confidence.

I have always tried to talk to others but I could never muster up the courage to actually say something. People called me shy or introverted but deep down I knew that there must be something wrong with me. Nobody else in my class had trouble speaking. Only I was the weird one.

I snapped back from my thoughts when I felt the presence of that doll ever so close, just a hair's breadth away. I was probably just trying to distract myself from the current ordeal.

This situation is nerve-wracking as hell but...that scene...that scene of the classroom when I couldn't answer bothers me more than this stupid doll.

It wasn't even that big of an incident. Everybody must have forgotten about it already. I am the only one stuck at that time, at that moment, while everyone moved on. I am very stupid, aren't I?

Since forever all I have done is running away. I stopped going to school after that, afraid that I will be asked more questions, that I won't be able to answer and then everyone would mock me.

There is nothing actually wrong with me. I convinced myself that there was a problem, to run away from my fears yet again.

I hate myself. I absolutely loathe the me who tries to deny all the problems by taking up an excuse of "There is something wrong with me."

I hate this situation. Why must I bear with a demonic doll staring at me?

I steeled myself and turned towards the doll with newfound determination and finally, I saw it.

It was for a split second but I saw it smile at me. It was the same old smile but this time I didn't feel creeped out. It disappeared quickly and I couldn't see it anywhere near me too.

It was a smile that warmed my heart. An expression that seemed to say "Good job. You did well".