The Tragedy of Losing Someone

 To have a conversation with someone is not enough to know how they feel or understand their thoughts. Ever since that dreadful day, my mind scatters around to understand what my dad went through, trying to imagine the scene, the feeling of his body, mind and sometimes even selfishly wondering if he ever thought about me when the crime was being committed. 

       The dark haze in my head got filled with white dots flickering everywhere. My head swooned over my imagination of how it happened. I felt my throat close up from the pressure of his knee. The dust flying upwards from the impact of our bodies. I could feel the helplessness of when my voice ached to escape to call for help. It was useless, I couldn't do anything except endure the pain with no way out until my body finally went limp. 

       “GIANNA ROXIE FLOYD, would you be so kind as to NOT fall asleep in my lecture, I would very much appreciate that you won't waste your time here.” I gasped for air forgetting where I was, my eyes searching for the sound that so loudly rang in my ears until my eyesight finally focused on a middle aged , black , short haired woman with arms crossed , glaring at me. “S-sorry Mrs.Shauna, I didn’t get much sleep last night” I stammered. 

        Mrs.Shauna looked like she was deciding if she should drop the case or not because it was too obvious that something was wrong with me. One side of her finally won and she went back into her lecture of equality. I scoffed quietly, isn’t that ironic, Mrs. Shauna was explaining about the equality we have in this world like it was some sick joke. Where was the equality when Goerge Floyd was in trouble? Did equality just give up on him because he wasn't good enough? My anger kept rising up while I squeezed my water bottle similar like to my blood vessel about to burst. 

       Some people were noticing but I didn't care about my surroundings anymore, I just longed to be somewhere else, anywhere else until I heard the faint pop and I was now in my 12th birthday party hugging my dad, thanking him for the surprise. My mind came to a stop and realized that I needed to warn him about the accident that was yet to come. I used all my force to talk to him but my fear took over and willed water to come flooding out of my eyes until his faint heartbeat vanished from my arms into a void. 

        Blame overtook me pinpointing all the people who accounted for this crime, wanting him to come back and help me understand how I could be so happy and have that taken from me as quickly as it started. School ended in a haze and I was walking home urging my legs to not give up. I knew this would make things worse but my thoughts betrayed me and I thought about how everything could be different if the horrid events didn’t take place. Everything happens for a reason, I reminded myself, still I wasn't. Still, I wasn't satisfied with what I knew so far. I'm his daughter, I should be allowed to know the entire truth about what actually happened from my dad’s point of view not what people call news these days. 

         I looked up and saw the golden sun setting down under the trees I walked by many times before, but this time it was different, i. It was if the sun was mocking me that another day had gone by without my dad. The air around me gets stuffy as I hear laughter coming from windows of houses. I focused on my house four blocks ahead of me walking faster to avoid the joyness of others when I come upon a broken glass shard, its steel side edges glistening in the sunset. 

         Now if you ask me why i I would want to speak with George Floyd even if i I wasn't his daughter, it would be because i I am interested on how one moment can affect so many people and he is a good example for it but an even better example….not finishing my thought, I looked down at the shard so intoxicating pulling my body towards it. I picked up the sharp scrap. At this moment, I would've thought a million things would be running through my head now but it was actually just one, his frown and furrowed brows begging me not to do it. 

          Ready to finish my thought I said, an even better example, raising the big knife not afraid about what's to come, would be me. I plunged the razor-sharp point of the knife glass straight through my heart feeling the blood dripping onto the hard concrete floor as my head crashed down to the ground. No regrets were made as long as I could see my dad again.

Another story: The Man on the Moon

The year was 1969 and I was sitting next to one of the men who created our future in space technology. My breath got caught in my throat because of the amount of pressure. I looked over at Neil and he was as calm as ever. The countdown started ringing loudly in my ear reminding me about what's to come. 8, 7, 6, I adjusted my seating and exhaled all the air from my lungs. 5, 4, 3, I prayed to god that I would make it safely and be able to see my family once more. 3, 2, 1, I closed my eyes and felt the pressure crushing me down as we shot up into the sky. 

       All I saw was white clouds as I didn't dare to open my eyes more than it already is. Just when I thought I couldn't bear the crushing feeling anymore, my body lurched forward and I realized we were in space. We were floating on air. I gave a sideways glance at Neil Armstrong to see how he was doing and saw the biggest smile flashing off his face. “Can you believe it, we actually did it!” Neil exclaimed. All I could do was nod and focus on the bright glowing ball we were coming close to. “Not yet Neil, we still have to land first” I reminded him. The space shuttle kept on shifting and making noises worrying me but the feeling faded away when we were slowly landing on the moon's surface until I heard the pound. We’re here, I thought to myself. 

         Neil was the first to open the door and I followed him. I don't know what I was expecting but when I tried to push my boots on the ground with my usual power on earth, it denied asking for more force. Oxygen was always something we took for granted but it felt weird that I was only inches away from being breathless. I took more steps but it was difficult reaching the ground after each one. Luckily, I always came back and could still admire the wonders of space. It wasn't like a fairytale wonder with stars shining and playing hopscotch without gravity, it was more the satisfaction of seeing this place everyone has always longed to see. The stars were heavy rocks and the moon dust particles kept flying around me. 

        A mix of emotions still swirling inside me, I kept hopping on the moon with a new, mesmerizing, unexplored world above. Every step provides a louder thump than the last. I'm floating in silence and breaking it up with the sound of my breath. Above me were nothing but shimmering stars, the place I yearned to go. I am the first astronaut to succeed in this groundbreaking experiment. Each surrounding kept calling me to go and explore them that I forgot about the man I have come here with, no bout also enchanted by all this. I'm going past the wrinkled rocks and dark skies, through the deep space where many planets are located. I check my time. I don't have as much as I need to to see everything, but that is what makes it so special. 

       “And that's exactly how it felt like to explore the unknown,” Neil concluded. My imagination got cut off and I was back at the dinner table with a notepad in my hands full of my messy handwriting. I got up from my seat causing it to screech and reached out my hand to Neil. “Thank you for your time, it is much appreciated and will help a lot with my research,” I said. Neil thanked me back and walked out of the room leaving me alone by myself and my imagination.