Here Come The Scones

“Hi.”

“Hello.”

“Is this seat taken?”

“No.”

“Mind if I sit on it? I much prefer the shade.”

“Me too.”

“Is this your first cruise?”

“Yes. Well no, really. I should be on another one.”

“You’re on the wrong cruise?”

“No. I’m definitely on the right cruise. I just chose not to go on the other one.”

“Oh, where was that one going?”

“To Alaska.”

“A bit different from the Caribbean then?”

“Yes. You could say that.”

“I’d say a lot different. One place is hot and the other, I guess would be cold. Especially up on deck. No sunbathing like today.”

“Yes, you’re right.”

“What made you choose this cruise then?”

“Oh. It’s a long story and I’d rather not go into it here.”

“No. I’m curious. Why on earth would someone change their mind about a cruise? Mind you, if I had the choice of hot or cold then I guess I’d still choose the hotter climate. Alaska can be beautiful, but I much prefer doing nothing all day long and sitting in the sun-or shade.”

“Well, I might as well tell you. I‘ve never met you before and I’m sure you won’t spread it all around the ship. I’m here because of my mother.”

“Your mother?”

“Yes, and my fiancé.”

‘Your fiancé?”

“Yes. I caught them snogging.”

“You caught your mother and fiancé snogging?”

“Yes. The day of my wedding I caught my mum snogging my fiancé. In fact, they were more than snogging. He had his hand on her tits.”

“Oh my god! That must have been awful. I mean a terrible shock. What did you do? Did you bash him one?”

“No. I carried on with the wedding and then left him.”

“You carried on with the wedding and then left him?”

“Yes. I told him good riddance. I told him he could have my mother and I hoped they would live happily ever after.”

“Well, I guess that might have been a brave thing to do. I’m not sure what I would have done under those circumstances. I think I might not have continued with the wedding. Yes, that’s it. I think I would have run out of the church and left him forever.”

“I wasn’t in the church.”

“Oh. Well wherever you were then.”

“I was in the Limousine. We’d just stopped outside the church. We, that’s me and my uncle. My uncle was giving me away, you see. My dad died of cancer last year. I wish he could have been there. He would have known what to do.”

“Probably punch your fiancé in the face, I guess.”

“No. Dad wasn’t like that at all. Dad was always calm. He’d have given Gary a piece of his mind. I know that for sure. Anyway, if Dad had still been alive Mum would probably not have done it. She’d still be with Dad and not be feeling alone. She told me she felt lonely all the time.”

“So, what happened next? When you arrived at the church in the Limousine?”

“I saw them. In the graveyard. They were actually near Dad’s grave. I ask you. How could they do it, on Dad’s grave? They were underneath the cherry tree. I know he had his hand on her boob and they looked as though they were loving it. Uncle saw it too. He told me to say nothing and to carry on with the wedding as everyone was here and everyone had spent a lot of money. So, I did. I just got on with it.”

“You must have felt awful though. Taking your vows and that.”

“Yes, I did. I felt as if I was in a daze. Dreaming or something like that. None of it felt real. I kept my eyes on Gary and then glancing over at Mum. Mum was giving me a questioning look all the time. She kept asking me if I felt okay. I said it was wedding nerves and that time of the month. That’s what I told Gary that night. I told him unfortunately it was the wrong time of the month and he would have to go without. He stormed out of our hotel bedroom and came back in the morning.”

“No! Do you think he went to your Mum’s room?”

“I’m positive of that as they both appeared sheepish in the hotel dining room at breakfast. Gary hardly spoke to me and Mum kept on talking in a silly quiet voice.”

“Well what did you do after that? I would have been livid. I would have thrown coffee all over Gary and slapped a cream cake in your Mum’s face.”

“No. I felt sorry for Mum. She looked drained. Pale and old somehow. I think nursing Dad had taken its toll on her. She was worn out. Her blue dress suited her, and she had a fantastic hat on, but she appeared weary.”

“I like blue. If I was going to a wedding, then I’d wear blue. It’s my favourite colour. I’ve been a bridesmaid twice-to my brother and my best friend. But I’m single at the moment and not looking for anyone either. I’m not on this cruise chasing a husband like some of these women.”

“Me neither. Well I’m still married. But I’m not going looking for anybody-not yet, that is. I’ve had enough of men. Cheating men.”

“So, what happened at breakfast then? Did you punch Gary? Did you confront him and your Mum?”

“No. Uncle joined us. He told me in the Limousine that it would all blow over. He told me to leave it and forget I’d seen it happen and it would all soon pass.”

“Well I’m not sure if that was very good advice from your uncle. I mean, he probably meant well but not helpful advice at all. If it were me, I would have told the chauffer to turn the car around and take you back home until it was all sorted out with Gary and your Mum.”

“Yes, with hindsight that is probably what I should have done.”

“Too true.”

“Well I did carry on with the wedding and the reception and the wedding breakfast the following day. Do you know what? We paid for over forty guests to stay at that hotel for four days. It cost us thousands. Or rather it cost Gary thousands. He paid for everything. Mum hasn’t got any money. Dad didn’t have a penny to his name when he died. No insurance-nothing. Mum hasn’t got a clue what Dad did with his money. She thinks he gambled it away, but she hasn’t got any proof. He did have some wins on the horses occasionally. He once won a thousand pounds because some football team lost. But he had no money at all. That’s what Mum cannot understand. We all had to help her out with the funeral and everything. It was a very tough time for her.”

“Your poor Mum.”

“Yes, poor Mum except when she stole my fiancé. I had no idea what was going on. They could have been seeing each other for years, all the time I’d known Gary.”

“Did you have any hints about their relationship?”

“No. Well, yes. I’ve been wracking my brains ever since. I thought of all the times Gary said he was busy or working late or couldn’t see me. I tried to think of the dates. I tried to work out what Mum was doing at that time. There were a couple of weekends when me and Gary did not see each other, and Mum had gone away too. Mum asked me to look after Dad as she needed a break. I thought nothing of it at the time. But now, thinking back, I can see that the two of them were often out of my site at the same time.”

“Oh, that must be awful for you.”

“Yes, it was. Still is. I lay in bed at night trying to work out all those days and weekends when I looked after Dad and Mum went off somewhere. She wouldn’t say where she was going. She said she was with a friend. I believed her. Silly me. I believed her. How stupid can a person get?”

“Oh, I’m sure you’re not stupid. I expect this kind of thing happens to most people. I mean, a lot of people. I’m sure it’s more common than you think.”

“What? Your mum going off with your fiancé and snogging right before your eyes. I would think that is very rare. Hang on a minute my phone is ringing. It’s Mum. She keeps on calling me and I refuse to answer. I’m thinking of blocking her soon.”

“Don’t you think you ought to answer her. Especially if she keeps on phoning. There may be something wrong. It might be an emergency.”

“Yes, you could be right. I’ll go back to my cabin and contact her. I’ve got my laptop with me. I can do a video call with her and see what’s up. Make sure she’s all right. I’m not going to forgive her though. She’s made her bed and she can lie on it for all I care. Look can we meet back here and maybe order coffee and cream scones. In about an hour. That will be nice. Oh, by the way, I don’t know your name.”

“Maryanne. My name’s Maryanne. And yours?”

“Felicity. Pleased to meet you Maryanne. Back here in about an hour then for coffee and scones.”

“Yes. I’m not going anywhere. I’ve got my book and I might even have a little snooze.”

***

“Mum. You keep phoning me. Is there something wrong? What’s the matter? You needn’t think I’m going to forgive you and Gary. No chance.”

“No dear. I don’t expect you to. That’s not what I’ve been trying to ring you about. Are you enjoying your cruise? Gary managed to get some money back from the cancelled Alaskan cruise.”

“Oh, did he. Well isn’t that just lovely. He’s got plenty of money anyway. He wouldn’t miss a few thousands. I’m surprised he didn’t take you with him Mum. A little honeymoon for both of you.”

“Now there’s no need to be sarcastic Felicity. I had a terrible time looking after your dad and I deserved some kind of comfort once in a while.”

“Comfort! Comfort! Is that what you call it?”

“No, I don’t mean that. Anyway, you’ll never understand. Gary is so...”

“I don’t want to hear another word about Gary, and I don’t even want to hear his name ever again. I want to know why you keep ringing me Mum.”

“Well I’ve found out where all your Dad’s money went to Felicity.”

“Where? Gambling? Horses?”

“No. Now I know it will be a bit of a shock for you.”

“What do you mean Mum? Come on. Out with it. Let’s get it over and done with. I’m sure one more shock won’t hurt.”

“Well your Dad had a lover, apparently.”

“What?”

“Yes, and I’m as surprised as you are. She came to the house a few days after you’d gone on your cruise. She said she’d heard about you and Gary. Though I don’t know where from. She came to apologise she said. But I was so taken aback and not sure I wanted to hear about any apology. She showed me photos of her and your dad, together. Apparently, they’d known each other for over ten years, and she’s got a little boy.”

“She’s got a little boy?”

“Yes. Jamie. His name is Jamie. He’s ten years old.”

“I don’t believe this Mum. Are you telling me Dad had a lover and has got a love child?”

“Yes, darling. I am. Your dad has had a lover for over ten years and has got a child called Jamie, by this woman. That’s where all his money went. She showed me pictures of her home and garden. It’s beautiful. Really big. Not like our tiny little bungalow where I nursed your dad all that time.”

“Oh Mum. I don’t know what to say.”

“There’s nothing you can say. At least we know he didn’t gamble his money away after all.”

“But we had to scrimp and scrape for his funeral and pay off all his debts. It’s not fair, Mum. It’s not fair on you or me.”

“I know darling but it’s something we’ve got to live with. Oh, by the way me and Gary are finished. I’ve met someone else. I met Fred at the bowling last week and we hit it off straight away. He’s very nice and kind and gentle. We get along well together.”

“I’m glad for you Mum. Look, we’ll have to talk about all this when I get back. Enjoy spending time with Fred. I’ve just been talking to a very nice lady I’ve met. She’s called Maryanne. I said I’d meet her on deck shortly for a coffee and some lovely cream scones. The food here is amazing Mum.”

“Ah, glad you are enjoying yourself. Me and Fred are going to the cinema tonight.”

“That’s nice. Okay. Got to go now. Um-love you Mum.”

“Love you too Felicity.”

***

“Hi Maryanne.”

“Hi Felicity. I’ve ordered the coffee and scones. It’ll be here in about five minutes. Did you get to speak to your Mum?”

“Yes. She’s okay. She’s found out where dad spent all his money. Apparently, he had a lover for over ten years, and they’ve got a love child together.”

“Oh my god!”

“Look, here come the scones.”