Let It Go

Let It Go 

“See, Parker. I told you we weren’t lost,” said Alex as I observed each villa we passed, hoping to find an outdoor restroom.

“You said that an hour ago, sis.” I groaned, dragging my bare feet against the sidewalk. For all I knew, we were probably walking in a circle.

“Oh my God, it’s only been fifteen minutes since we left the beach path,” she stated. I sighed. I couldn't keep wandering around with no sense of direction under the blazing summer sun. Plus, I wanted a glass of lemonade with little ice cubes clinking around in it. I could imagine wrapping my hands around the chilled glass and then chugging all of it.

“Whatever, I wish I stayed in the hotel room.” 

“You spent the whole day watching YouTube,” Alex pointed out.

“At least there’s air conditioning,” I countered.

You should try to get some fresh air. It’s not like we visit Hawaii every month. The least you could do is go for a short walk with me.”

“You just want to get tan.”

“Wait. I think I see the beach over there. Remember we walked by those palm trees and that old wooden chair?” 

“Thank God.” I quickened my pace as my feet left the concrete sidewalk and settled into the warm sand. I stopped for a moment to wiggle my toes in the soft sand. We continued our one-mile trek back to the resort in silence. Instead of complaining, I needed to keep it together and walk.

We would be back at the hotel soon. I stared at my feet, which sank into the sand with every step. The sun beat at my bronzed shoulders as another drop of sweat trickled down the side of my face. Wonderful, I forgot to put sunscreen on too. I was going to have a lobster back later.

 “Hey, why are you walking so slowly?” Seeing me lagging behind her, Alex stopped to wait for me. Normally, I walked faster than her, but I found it harder to hold it in as I stumbled forward.

“Nothing,” I blurted as another dull pang rolled across my stomach. Why now of all times? Alex stared at me. I looked at the waves licking the beach, at a couple trying to open an umbrella, and at a concession stand selling shaved ice until my eyes returned to Alex, who was still staring at me.  

“Fine, my tummy hurts a bit,” I admitted, resisting the urge to clutch my stomach. My eyes darted around desperately, searching for a bathroom; however, the closest place was the resort which was still three-quarters of a mile away. Why did beaches in Hawaii not have public restrooms? 

“The faster you walk the faster we get home,” she said, plowing forward. If I walked any faster, I was going to poop in my shorts. 

“I seriously can’t hold it in, Alex,” I stuttered almost losing control. To focus on contracting the muscles near my rectum, or maybe it was my colon or large intestine, I shut my eyes as I wobbled forward. A small ball of panic bounced around inside of me. 

“If you’re so desperate you can go do it in that row of shrubs over there.” Alex pointed to the shrubbery cresting the dunes that bordered the beach. I peeked at the greenery, rolling the thought around in my mind. 

What if I had an accident? I would have to walk with a giant poop the size of a burrito jostling around in my underwear the whole way. To make it worse, people would start to smell it, and then wonder what the bulge in my shorts was.

If I pooped in the bushes, I could explain that I was crouching down to look for something I dropped, and even if anyone saw the poop afterwards, they would assume that someone didn't clean up after their dog. 

Alex had started walking again, so I waddled over to the bushes then positioned myself near a large rock. Before gingerly pulling down my shorts, I glanced around, hoping that nobody noticed me. Thankfully, the sun, a bloody yolk dipping beneath the horizon, exploded in red and orange hues, so most tourists focused their cameras on the sunset instead of me pooping in public. Once my underwear settled on my ankles, I leaned forward a bit, so that the bush's branches didn't prod at my exposed butt cheeks. My muscles relaxed. Then I squeezed them again to give the poop a little push. Even though my legs burned from squatting, soon I started to feel it coming out. Dam! That felt good!

I positioned myself so that my rear faced the bushes while I stared at the large rock besides me, the sky, the sea, and my sister’s distant silhouette that blended into the crowd of tourists gathering by the shore. My eyes burned from staring at the rolling waves. Hopefully, it looked like I was simply crouching. As I waited for everything to come out, I sifted sand in between my fingers, pretending to look for something I'd lost. 

Shoot, I didn’t have toilet paper. Gross, gross, gross. Somehow, I was able to pull my underwear and shorts back up without getting any odd looks. My underwear rubbed uncomfortably against my butt crack.

Once I’d finished, I glanced at the abomination that had come out of my body before deciding that it wasn’t mine. Nope, I was going to walk away, and if anyone asked, I’ll say it wasn’t mine. 

As I turned around and strolled away, I remembered the rock. Yes! I could flip the rock over the poop to hide it. I quickly turned around, focusing on the rock and not the brown burrito that smelled like my dog's poop. I gripped the stone and carefully lowered it on top of the poop while holding my breath. Without a glance back, I hurried to catch up to Alex. 

“Where’d you go? I knew you were walking slowly but dang.” My sister asked once I’d caught up to her. 

“Sorry about that. Man, I feel so much better.” I said, stealing a glance at the bushes.

“I turned around earlier, and at first I was wondering why you were crouching by the bushes. I couldn’t tell if the light was playing tricks on me, but for a moment, I thought your shorts were pulled down.” Her face dawned with realization. “Oh my gosh. You didn’t just, oh my gosh!” Her hands covered her mouth, and she glanced around, expecting to see people staring at us."

"Did anyone see you?”

“No, anyways, I don’t care. I needed to go. There’s no way I would’ve made it.”

“The bushes?”

“Uh, ya.”

 “You have got to be kidding.”

“You gotta do what you gotta do, okay?”

“Get away from me. I’m officially disowning you. You didn’t even use toilet paper.”

“Who carries toilet paper with them on walks to the beach?”

 “Mom?”

“She carries tissues.”

“I hope nobody saw you do that.”

“Look, nobody is going to walk by that poop and think some kid did their business there. Anyways, I covered it with a rock.” 

“The idea of you even doing that makes me lose my appetite.”

“Dibs on your dessert than. But please don’t tell Mom or Dad.” 

“Do you think I could tell my parents or anyone that I just saw you do that in the bushes on a public beach! And why didn’t you use the bathroom beforehand?” 

“I didn’t think we’d spend so much time taking photos of you.”

“Oh, well," she paused and then asked, "do you regret it?”

“No, not everything is in my control. Sometimes you have to let things go. I did what I needed to do.”

“So you aren’t embarrassed?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Sounded like it to me,”

“How could I not be embarrassed? Who yanks down their underwear and poops on a public beach in front of people!”