The Never-Discovered Sapien Extinction

The Never-Discovered Sapien Extinction

from “It Only Gets Better” by Barney Defanfaler

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“It has been said: 'To repeat the past is to make the same mistakes.

Let me add, “To repair the past is to prevent the mistakes.” 

Allen, Princeton 2014

Shui, in a saffron robe, is walking from the plane through the international baggage check when he spots a large sign entitled ‘Shui Pu Chan.’ As he walks towards it, a familiar face peaks over the sign, then under it, then to the left and right.

“Howdy Shui,” calls out Mohandas. 

“Mohandas, it's good to see you, old friend. Still the funny guy.” 

 With deep brotherly love, they embrace each other in a warm hug, then pull back to look deeply into each other’s eyes.

“You look well, brother. Quite the physique,” remarks Mohandas.

“Your attire is very colorful, my friend. You haven't aged. India has treated you well.” 

“Thank you. I am now a Hindu Pujari.” 

“Congratulations. You have fulfilled your teen goal. I am a Shaolin Bhikkhu.” 

“Awesome, brother. You have fulfilled your goal, as have Avraham and Ibrahim. We all have much to share about our last ten years. Shall we go? Our limousine waits.”

 The two friends walk on with arms shared over their shoulders. 

“A Limo? I guess Allen got a job while I have been meditating, practicing Kung Fu, and eating rice,” replies Shui.

    “Wait till you see the accommodations, my friend. I'll leave them for your eyes!” 

 “Have you seen the others?”

 “Imam Ibrahim and Rabbi Avraham are at the lodge, keeping a low profile. Ibrahim was retained at the airport two days ago under suspicion as a 'terrorist.’ The incident made quite a scene when Rabbi Avraham showed up with a high-powered civil rights lawyer. They made front-page news with our brother Rabbi and Imam all decked out in their colorful regalia, arm in arm, grinning as she bears, and holding peace signs walking out of airport security. The headlines read, 'Rabbi frees Imam.’ Here is your signed copy.”

“Beautiful, an incredible interfaith message. So important in these dreadful times,” responds the Bhikkhu monk as he eyes the photo. 

 “No doubt, Shui, although the attention bothered Allen. He wanted to keep the reunion quiet.”

“So, what’s up with that Mohandas?”

 “No idea. Allen is away until we’re all together.” 

“How about Eagle and Abraham?” 

“Eagle is coming by train. Due in tonight. Abraham is flying in tomorrow from Greece. They have both attained their goals. Eagle is a Lakota Spiritual Warrior Guide, and Abraham is a Greek Orthodox Presbyter. Want to be on the welcoming committee?” 

“Does a bear shit in the woods?” 

“Still quoting ancient Oriental wisdom, I see.” 

The men chuckle, and suddenly, they are transported ten years into their teen past.

The next day, the five devout Spiritual men, who have not slept yet, lounge around in an isolated lodge in Arizona’s Rocky Mountains. They reminisced about the old days, although their discussions focused on their last ten-year mission of personal growth; each spiritual brother shared how they worked on their mental and emotional healing, the anguish that drove five young teens to depart company and scatter worldwide to pursue their spiritual journeys, the unbearable anguish resulting from numerous broken hearts and minds after Allen, Abrahams, and LJ’s’ sister Sarai’s abduction.

In the dark early evening, the long-lost brothers in spirit are sitting on the porch gazing upon a few duck species splash landing over the serene, darkening blue-green lake and numerous bird species coursing overhead to their night roosts of safety. Bats swoop and dive, feasting on flying insects. They listen to the evenings' harmonious green symphony: a babbling brook running under the lodge, a high-pitched chorus of tiny Wood Frogs, a Whippoorwill, a Nightingale, and a distant Screech Owl.  

They doze off after sharing an international meal when their ears perk to a quiet 'whop, whop, whop' overhead. Running to the front of the lodge, they see a large helicopter descend and land on the lawn. The door opens, and out steps Allen and Susan. They see Little John, better known as LJ, through the front chopper window, grinning and waving. 

“Maybe we should have become scientists instead of poor priests!” says Mohandas.

 Before entering the lodge, the devout men exchange embraces, sharing their affection with their long-lost teen companions, Allen, Susan, and LJ. 

“I hope everyone has been comfortable, well rested, and the food satisfactory,” says Susan

 “Yes. You are all so generous, and the reunion alone is a gift I will cherish forever with gratitude,” replies Imam Ibrahim,

    “I sincerely agree,” seconds Mohandas.

 “It has been a wonderful change from rice and veggies at the monastery,” adds Bhikkhu Shui,

 “Please sit, everyone,” Requests Susan. 

“You all may be wondering why I called you here today,” Allen says, initiating a familiar chorus of laughter.  

“O Lordy, it is you, dear brother. Glad to see you haven't changed.” Says Abraham.

“Please tell us. We have been in suspense long enough,” begs Eagle.

 “I did it. You may have heard that I discovered a way to move atoms through space and time while a grad student five years ago,” blurts out Allen.

“Yes. I read the article in Science in America. I never saw any follow-up, and no one in the scientific community has repeated it. I tried to contact you, but you went off the radar. Where have you been?” asks Abraham.

“Making buckaroos of bucks judging by the level of his transportation,” replies Mohandas. 

 “Yes, I have made plenty of buckaroos. As for the chopper, though, I stole it,” Allen answers.

Ibrahim, “It looks military. Now they will surely throw me back in jail and then transfer me to Gitmo,” states Imam Ibrahim.

“It is, and no one is going to jail. I may have been born yesterday, but wasn't born last night!” Allen says reassuringly.

 “Yep, same ole Allen,” states Rabbi Avraham.

“How did you find us, and why did you get us involved in your shenanigans anyway?” asks Allen’s brother Abraham.

“This is getting rapidly more interesting and mysterious. Allen, please continue with the rest of the story. You did what?” begs Shui.

Allen, “I have never lost track of any of you. I worked for the government and private investors. I did it. I fulfilled my dream, at least the first step. I called you guys here to invite you all to partake in the next step to complete my mission. I have a working time machine. I stole it, too, after the government tried to betray me.” 

 “Excuse me, Allen. Are you sane? Susan. Is he OK? I can understand stealing a chopper, but a 'time machine.’ Give me a break. Why haven't we heard about it?” asks Ibrahim.

“I can vouch for him. All he said is true.” Susan says sincerely.

 “OK. Let us assume you did build a time machine. So why aren't we... excuse me, you going to get caught?” asks Eagle.

Allen: “I sent the men who controlled, or at least thought they were in control and knew the machine’s location, to the Arctic.” 

“And they aren't going to hitch a ride from an Eskimo on a dog sled or sea kayak and return to tera-firma because...?” asks Eagle.

“Because I sent them back to the first ice age,” answers Allen. 

“Well, now it all makes sense, although I still have a problem with this sci-fi channel. Allen, you do know there is a high incidence of insanity in folks with Asperger’s. May I also remind the absent-minded professor that today is not the first of April? Susan, what the heck is going on here?” asks Abraham.

Allen sits down and looks them all straight in the eye, a rare occurrence for the old Allen they knew. “Would you believe me if I told you all this has to do with Sarai? I brought you all here to let you know and allow you to be involved. I need help going back for her. You have all lived with the guilt for long enough. You deserve to know. You are the only ones I can trust.” 

The room instantly becomes quiet. Deadly quiet. A whippoorwill is heard with its repetitive melody through the open window, and the wind softly whooshes through the pines. Allen starts hyperventilating and then turns his back to the others. Susan walks over and hugs him. She knows he is on the verge of tears. As she gently holds him, she looks over his shoulder and smiles warmly at the stunned group. Staring blankly into space, each feels their overwhelming emotions, unable to speak while being held captive from the meaning of what Allen just laid on them. 

 “Oh my lord,” escapes Avraham as he finally breaks the silence,

“Dear Jesus,” softly escapes the lips of Abraham. 

“Allen, I believe I speak for the group when I sincerely apologize for doubting your word,” says Ibrahim.

“It is perfectly understandable. It is quite a story to take at face value, especially with Allen's history of verbal trickery,” says Susan reassuringly.

“Yeah, no problem, guys. You all know I am not very good at communicating. I had a script but forgot it,” says Allen in a shaky voice.

“Classic Allen. Some things don't change,” says Allen.

A set of warm smiles develops on the faces of Allen's long-absent friends. Presbyter Abraham, Rabbi Avraham, Imam Ibrahim, Great Eagle, Bhikkhu Shui, and Pujari Mohandas rise and surround Dr. Allen with a group hug. No words are spoken. None are needed. Allen feels that old, familiar, warm, fuzzy glow. Some things are worth waiting for. They return to their seats. 

“So where did you hide it?” asks Shui.

LJ, “Instead of answering that, how about we take a ride, and you can have a firsthand peek at the Magic Bus.” 

 “Magic Bus?” asks Mohandas.

LJ, “Yep. Have your tickets and belongings in hand. Our satellite-blind corridor opens in thirty minutes.” 

With LJ at the stick and Allen running electronics, they lift off and scream away, crossing the desert in the moonless night, flying just above cactus level, and riding the hills and valleys like a roller coaster. 

“I feel like I’m going to puke,” gags out Mohandas. Susan hands him a bag. 

“Whee, now we’re having fun,” screams Eagle.

 “LJ, I didn't know you joined the military,” states Abraham.

 “Always wanted to, but I didn't,” answers LJ.

“Well, how did you learn to fly this rig?” continues his brother.

 “After I got out of rehab a month ago, Allen put me through a crash course. Sorry, poor choice of words. Allen is currently in more control than I,” explains LJ.

“Actually, I just program the flight path, and the computer takes over the ship till we're ready to land.” Explains Allen.

“Rehab, nice to hear it,” says Eagle.

“Yeah, I did it with the help of Ibogaine, an ancient African root extract. Great stuff. Minimal withdrawals or cravings, and binds to brain receptors for up to six months,” explains LJ.

“Oh, that's reassuring. My brother, who recently crashed a simple hang glider, now with some voodoo brain candy on board, and his sidekick, the absent-minded professor, who is the one really in control, are playing squat tag with cacti at breakneck speed in a hot state-of-the-art military chopper. If we survive this joy ride, I will nominate you two for Saints in the Catholic Church, for it truly will be a miracle,” blurts out Abraham.

The group roars with laughter as they continue across the silent cold desert in a beeline towards the brilliant constellation Orion. 

“I'm glad the computer is running the ship. I'm laughing so hard I don't think I could control the stick,” says LJ.

“Is this a sample of what I missed ten years ago?” asks Susan.

      “Just like the good ole days,” recalls Shui.

“It's like we were never separated,” says Ibrahim.

 “Suddenly, I feel like the last ten years never happened,” says Mohandas 

 “Not yet, they haven't,” answers Allen. 

“Hugh?” wonders Eagle.

“You guys are like group therapy on steroids,” says Susan.

 “ETA ten. Ladies and gents, please put your chairs in their full upright position and fasten your seatbelts. The Eagle is about to land,” announces Allen, “ LJ, prepare to take control in ten, nine, eight…” 

Little John slows, then maneuvers the chopper towards a cliff in the desert night. As he does, an opening appears ahead and below the cliff wall, followed by a huge flatbed driver-less truck exiting backward. LJ lowers the ship onto the trailer with great care and practiced skill. After the ship's landing gear is automatically clamped down, the truck drives into the tunnel, and the hidden rock wall lowers behind them. The group exits the chopper, and Allen leads them into a large elevator.   

*

Allen “Going down. Next floor, Fort Infinity.” 

   They exit, and Allen continues his lead up a flight of steps into an enormous room filled with control boards and monitor screens. The room has a large window overlooking a hundred-yard-diameter round room. Floodlights fill the ceiling, beaming down on an enormous central half-sphere—multiple large tubes project in an array to the surrounding round wall. 

“Is that the Magic Bus?” asks Shui.

“Just the exit chamber,” replies Allen. 

     “Exit to where?” asks Shui.

 “A window to where do you want to go today? And when, of course,” answers Allen

“Oh, Allen, I know you're on a manic high, but these guys have no idea what's happening here. Try to be straightforward for a while. OK?” begs Susan.

Allen, “Sorry. You're right, Susan. Come on, guys. Let’s finish the tour. This is the command-and-control center. Sodium-cooled nuke reactors power the whole place_. We are completely self-contained down here. Everything is recycled, including the air. Unlike a sub, we have enough power and room to grow fresh food. We are a city unto itself. We can survive for near infinity. Surrounding the round room below is an apparatus that creates a dark energy connection to travel through space and time.” 

Susan, “Moving things back and forth in time went smoothly, from macromolecules to viruses to fungi and bacteria to one-celled and multi-cellular animals. When we hit the final goal of small animals, the military overseers wanted to take over.

We learned about their plan through Larry, the primary contact between our science team and the military. Unlike Allen, who had always been openly vocal about military use of the machine, Larry kept his Time Wars opposition to himself. He warned us of the military's plan to replace our team with their scientists. They thought Allen would sabotage the system. Larry learned and warned us of their plan to move weapons to the past. For starters, they planned to bring back Inca and other gold.

I set up a big celebration party for the government officials and military in the chamber below. Everyone involved with the project who knew about this location was here. Most engineers and programmers worked remotely, and anyone who came here was brought in blindly. We sent all the innocent workers home. Ernie’s wife and I went for refreshments, and Allen and Earni waltzed up here, shut the door to the chamber, and sent them off to never-never land, the Arctic.” 

 “So you killed them?” Mohandas cried out.

 “No, of course not, Mohandas,” Allen reassured him. 

“The guys we sent back went with the party food. Then we sent them back extreme cold weather survival gear and more food,” added Susan.

“That still seems harsh. Why didn't you send them to a warmer climate?” Mohandas asked.

“That would affect history or the early hominid gene pool through mating. They became an extinct species of early Eskimo as there were no females.” 

“So a select few of you remain in control of a powerful tool to manipulate space and time,” concluded Abraham.

“A human tool to fight an ancient evil, a huge responsibility and honor,” added Shui. 

 “So, when do we go for Sarai?” asked Abraham.

 “We can be ready in three days, as some preparations are needed. Does anyone want to back out or have any problems?” Susan asked.

“You realize that by saving Sarai, as opposed to the Arctic exile, we will be altering history,” Shui stated.

“Very much so,” Susan replied, then continued, “Ten years ago, an evil beast rolled into Bethel on an otherwise beautiful day in an atmosphere full of laughter and frolic. His vicious deed brought on a ripple of events like a pebble dropped into a pond, setting into motion a wave of terror affecting a happy family.  Sarai, an innocent child, became a sacrificial lamb. Instead of bringing a personal savior of peace for humanity, the result became a psychological plague destroying a family and your sanity.

    Six long-lost Spiritual Warriors, an atheist genius, and two friends agree to join forces to test Allen’s new tool to repair a ten-year-old event that the six young teens, in retrospect, would have chosen to do had they only understood themselves better at the time. But how could they?