Home.

I sit in my seat, waiting for the bell to ring. I watch the clock on the wall directly across from me. The colon in the middle blinks on and off every half second. The time changes so slowly, but it’s mesmerizing to watch. 3 minutes. 2 minutes. 30 seconds. The long bell rings. As my classmates stand tall at the podium saying things I should pay attention to, I daydream. I block out everyone and stare into the wall and think. What could I be with Him? Who am I in the place of slumber? Why do I feel like a mistake? I can’t help but feel I’m missing something that I’ve never had. 

The bell rings again and I barely notice. I keep my train of thought as I march along to the next class. His hand is placed on my shoulder and I snap out of the beautiful thought of who we should have been. I should be angry, but when I look up, His smile is so big and his words are so warm and they make my stomach flutter as if the butterflies within are trying to beat themselves out. When he speaks, I try to listen, but I feel faint. This time, it’s more than a nervous tick. I stumble with my step, and I finally collapse. Everything goes black when I hear the panic in His tone. 

I wake up in the nurse’s office. I’m laying down, I’m not alone. He’s sitting in the chair nearest me and he’s dozing off while he’s playing on His phone. I clear my throat and his attention goes on me. I’m speechless. I have so many words to say but nothing wants to come out. His eyes are so amazing. I can’t help myself, I slide off the bed and give him a hug. I’m dizzy from standing too fast and end up sitting on his lap when I lose feeling in my legs. I know I’m not well. I drive myself to my house after my parents excuse me for the day. He follows me home for comfort and we both call in sick for work. Losing feeling in my body is a daily thing for me, I lost control for the first time. I feel fine, I didn’t have to go to my house. 

I’m obviously upset, and the words which normally make me feel sane aren’t giving me the same effect. Not today. He can tell and he knows. He tells me he’s just going to make a few calls and he leaves the room. I stand up slowly and get a drink of water. I hear his footsteps come closer to me and I let Him give me a hug from behind. I feel Him falling deeper for me. He smells like what I think home would be. I feel safe here with Him. We stand like this in silence for a few more seconds before either of us speaks and make a perfect silence awkward. “Who did you call?” I ask, but under my breath and so quietly that I’m shocked he could hear, despite how close we are. 

“It’s a surprise. Get in my car.”

I obey. I jump into the front passenger seat and watch him get in after me. I can tell that he’s so excited. I hate surprises. I keep guessing but he won’t tell me. We pass all these great places and I disappoint myself when my hopes get up so high and are let down when we don’t slow. It’s 1:34 in the afternoon. I should eat. He’s aware, and that’s our first stop. We pull into a Wendy’s and He orders just what I want and the same thing for himself: a bacon cheeseburger, fries, nuggets, and a cherry vanilla Coca-Cola. When I believe the surprise is over, we drive the opposite direction of my house. 

After we eat, we go into the better parts of town and pull into my favorite thrift store’s parking lot. I want to run inside, but I don’t because I fear I’ll fall or faint. We window shop and mainly try on clothes we’d never wear. We find a child’s scooter and ride around the small shop. We take turns running from the rider and on my last time running from him, I look back and felt myself fall harder for him. I realize He’s my future and nobody will love me as much as this man will. I nearly fall, and the woman who was working behind the counter finally stops us and asks us to leave after receiving a complaint about us. I laugh so hard when I get into his car, I wheeze and end up snorting. This only ends up making him laugh harder and this cycle doesn’t stop for a miniature eternity. 

When the car starts up, he still doesn’t tell me our next location. I’m starting to like the events of today. I can’t help but feel like this is all happening for a reason. He’s been so sweet to me and I haven’t been the best girlfriends to my person. I rest my head on his arm while he drives until we reach our net destination. We pull up to an older building with fencing on one side and doors straight ahead. I can’t read what it says. “Where are we?” 

“Follow me, love.” It’s a bossy request but my heart flutters when he says it. 

The stickers on the glass doors say “Animal Shelter”. I get so excited, I run to the desk, but stop and look around when I realize I have no idea what I’m doing. The woman there looks like she knows what I’m doing there, and I’m confused. I look and wait for Him to catch up. I hear barking, but it sounds far away. I just want to see the dogs. When the woman at the desk opens the door and leads us to the back. The barking sounds more urgent and louder. Behind the last door, there are makeshift walls from cages.

There are so many options. There are newborn mutts and near purebreds who are years older than I’d like. I want a baby to test the waters of what I can handle. The more I look, the harder it is to make a decision. The last cage on the last row, there’s a mixed breed dog. He’s alone and his information says he’s only a few months old. I feel immediately connected to him. He looks like a Pitbull Boxer mix, with a beautiful brindle fur. I name him Milo, and he’s my puppy. I sign papers for him and take him to His car.

 We head to a Walmart and try to sneak Milo in. It ends in success, and we go to the pet section. We get him treats, a harness, toys, food, the whole works. I know I’ll treat Milo like my child, so he deserves the best. When I believe we bought everything, we go back to my house and play with our little Milo. This is home. This is where I’m meant to be and who I’m meant to be with. My little family.