I need at least four alarms to wake up in the morning.

Okay, so I have to be out of the door at 7, which means breakfast at half 6 but I have to feed the cat, load the dishwasher and washing machine and shower before that so get out of bed at 6 to be safe. Will I go for a run in the morning? I probably should. 

Jamie’s on my back again about getting steps in and to start running again. Do I really want tomorrow to be the morning I start to push myself through it again. I could either get an extra hour of sleep or… No to hell with it, I'll do a half hour run and back to shower for 6.

I will wake up at quarter past 5, get changed, have a quick coffee and out the door. Yes. That's what I’ll do. 

Right, awesome. Have my plan sorted for tomorrow. This is great. That's what's happening. Now to plan my wake up. I need at least 4 alarms set. I also like waking up with enough time to go back to sleep for a small bit, then I feel refreshed and awake when I actually have to get up. So 15 minute intervals with 4 alarms means 4.30, 4.45, 5 and 5.15. Perfect. And set. Good, I can go to sleep now. 

Okay, it's been an hour and I can count the individual atoms on my ceiling. Brain. Sleep. Now. 

Beep. Beep. Beep. I need to change that sound. It’s getting annoying now. What the hell was I dreaming about? Something about a magical fish. Damn it. I wish the longer dreams were more vivid. Ah well. Back to sleep.

Dream 1: 4 - 4.45am

All I can see is a bright blue sky that extends around and down underneath me. It’s like a weird warped skybox. Why is it like that? What am I standing on? A brick. Okay right. Now what? 

One step? Hesitantly, I move my foot forward and another brick appears in front of me. Cool. So do I keep going or?

One more step. Another. Another. 10 more. 20 more. Where am I going? What is the reason behind this?

Oh I think I see something in the distance. Is it a door? Okay I guess I’ll keep walking towards it.

Splash

What was that noise? 

Splash

Again. What? Okay it was behind me so… oh no… two bricks just fell into the water. 

Splash

Splash

Splash

Where did the water come from???? Okay not the thoughts I need to be having right now. Door. Yes door. Move towards it. There are some really weird lights around me.

1 Step.

Another step. One of those shapes is moving. Is it a light? No its a penguin. A flying penguin. They can’t fly. Why? Yes. That’s it. Why.  Like why can’t I go faster?

Splash

Step. Please be quicker. 

Splash. Splash.

Step. HURRY UP NOW!

Splash. Splash. Splash.

Step. 

Please come on legs, move it, there are only a few more…

Splash.

Falling. But no splash. It’s always a funny feeling when you drive over a hump or go on a rollercoaster but when it’s consistent it's awful. Why is it still going? Why is it not stopping? Why do I feel like I will never stop falling?

Beep. Beep. Beep. 

That sucked. That was a really weird dream. Not really scary, and kind of fun towards the end. Right. I feel so groggy. Okay eyes closed. Brain off. 

Dream 2: 4.45 - 5am

It's hard to breathe. Dust that was kicked up around from that last explosion settled down around the crimson puddles that surrounded me. I can vaguely recall seeing Timothy sitting down leaning against the dirt over there a few minutes ago. Where did he go?

My head hurts. There’s a ringing in my ears but I never had tinnitus before. Why is it here now? I don’t know, I can't remember. Am I wearing a military uniform? I must be. There’s a gas mask attached to my leg, 3 clips of 5 bullets sit in pockets on my chest and an empty holster on my right hip where a pistol should be. Why is it gone? Wait… no, I'm left handed, why is it on my right hip?

All of these questions keep floating about in mind, before the main one pops in and shuts out every other. Why am I a soldier in World War 1?

It suddenly clicks, I'm in a trench, surrounded by filth, blood and rodents. Ew. Not the filth and blood, but rats honestly disgust me. The ringing fades slowly away to be replaced by shouting. Once again jarred into an alternative reality I'm brought back by the screams of someone who seems to be in charge of wherever this is.

“GET UP NOW AND OVER THE TOP! GO GO GO!”

To each side of me, there are now a hundred others dressed the same. A rifle appeared in my hand. We were waiting for the call. 

“NOW” 

I froze. 

Around me, hundreds of bodies moved forward like a wave on the ocean prior to breaking, looking almost unstoppable. 

I couldn’t go with them.

A cacophony of noise surrounded no man's land as gunfire erupted on both sides, breaking forth the oncoming surf.

Once again I couldn't run. I tried. I really tried, but not one of my legs pushed me onward.

Beep. Beep. Beep. 

I darted up sweating. That felt more vivid than the last dream and certainly more consistent in how things appeared to be. Why the hell did it have to be a nightmare?

Right then I felt like I needed to counteract my inability to run by sprinting a 100 meters. Maybe then I would feel better than I do now. I check the time. 5am. Shit. I really need the extra 15 minutes of sleep. I still feel way too groggy to get up. But I want to. But I can’t. Damn it. 

Dream 3: 5 - 5.15am

It's COLD. Why is it so cold? There is frost on the grass and a lot of fog in the air. Wait… Wait a minute I remember this. To my right should be… Noah. Damn you Noah. 

“Right Philip, Noah has challenged your spot on the relay team. He thinks he’s faster than you. Are you going to prove him right, or wrong.”

The world starts to fade more into focus. Our PE teacher is standing in front of the two of us after just having set the challenge. Along the sprint line, our classmates stand looking silently ahead with their smug judgemental faces. Weirdly this seems a bit over dramatic and I can’t really picture why. This a memory isn’t it?

“ON YOUR MARKS.”

Well this is quicker than I remember. It must be a memory. I really don’t like this one. 

“GET SET.”

Is he raising a gun to the sky? Where did he get a gun?

“GO”

The gun fires. 

He runs. 

And I do too. 

Step.

Step.

Step. 

I’m lagging behind.

Step.

Step.

Step. 

He’s faster than me. 

Step.

Step.

Step.

This is a memory. 

Step.

Step.

Step. 

It’s going to end the same way. 

Step.

Step.

Step.

I’m not going to win. 

Step.

Step.

I give up. I stop running. Everything stops around me. Frozen in place. I step forward once.

Step.

Everything moves for the second I do. Okay, I can somewhat control this. Why can I….. Lucid dreaming. I'm lucid dreaming. I can do anything I want can’t I? Oh look at this ice cream that appears in my hand. It kind of tastes like ice cream but kind of doesn’t. That's a weird feeling. What would the Sun look like if it was where the moon was? Yup okay it is literally all I can see in the sky. That’s not right, back to before. Well then, can I fly? Yup. I can fly. Faster than I can run… WAIT. Okay reset. 

“GO”

I can set my own speed right?

Step.

And I can go faster than Noah?

Step.

Yes. It’s working!

Step.

He’s behind me.

Step. 

I’m doing it, I'm faster than him.

Step.

I’m almost at the finish line.

Step.

Is that a wine glass balancing on a ferrari while being handed a nobel peace prize by Napoleon?

Beep. Beep. Beep. 

This time, I really want to smash my phone to pieces. Sometimes I hate my brain. Alright. Fine. I guess I’ll get up now and run my anger away. 

Maybe tomorrow morning I’ll win that race.