Where do I go from here?

My day, today, wasn't even that bad. I mean, compared to the messy days I'm so accustomed to now, today was one of the great ones. The Sun is kicking back, leaving ombre memories through the oranges, pinks, and golds. I kick back like the Sun, in my chilly blue Mercury car. I'm very much at home; yet my current situation, mixed in with this holy sky, makes me feel as homeless as cleary as I am. But, is it really deemed homeless if you don't have that said place to go, yet you have a way to go to that said place?

Psh, at least I have a piece of the formula for joy; as I close my home's door, as I start my car's engine, and as I head out for the longest flight of my life. I am going to dance with these thoughts on the road. I am alive; within this same lifetime, I think of dying. In fact, I could die tomorrow with just the same strength that I could have died yesterday. Yet, I feel like I must be here for a reason. Either that, or I don't have the guts to leave this place on my own. Does it matter everything, anything, or nothing at all if you're still living?

Whatever the case, I'm here now like I should be; and the purpose is divine and ordered. I'm going to stay here and do what I'm here to do. Each living life has an existing purpose. Madu was right, "everyone happens for a reason." We sow our happenings with thoughtful seeds; we manifest what we mindfully confess. And just as fantastical as that may sound, I'm here as proof. For, even with my gift of attentiveness, I just ain't realize in time this oncoming truck. In fact, the only thing I have time for, is realizing what is happening right now. The explosion of countless neurons and planets; the gathering of untold collections of emotions and space matter. Do thoughts ever get that loud and consuming, to where self can't pick up on the frequencies around?

I close my eyes, and there is nothing; not even pain. Well, there's a few fading fragments of onism, and a couple lingering pieces of pure curiosity; but it was much darker than this when I first got here. Granted, it couldn't have been any longer than a second; granted, it feels like forever. Regardless, for now, I see a light. The space around me begins going from bare, to filled, with bronzen foundations that overtake the depths of the deepest low, and golden columns of ancient pillars that hold up the heights of the highest highs, and selective pieces of beautifully purposed articles, utensils, and devices. And these gates, these two massively familiar gates; I know of these gates, and I know of this place. Yup, I definitely transcended. My body no longer homed my soul; it was no longer my body. Oh, I knew what happened. I am not, by far, ignorant to the happenings of my being, the life I have lived, and the knowledge I know. At least, the knowledge I thought I knew. For, I entered a realm, one I'm strangly familiar with, yet one far from anything I could ever have expected. Is the life or the death more within the living or the transcended?

Suddenly, just as sharply smooth as the other manifested pieces that filled the space, appears three highly energetic beings. They did not come from the gates, and they did not come from behind me, yet they came, and here they stand; and there they float, full of awe and wonderment. And even though I'm facing three awesome and mighty deities, whom seem to have the power to destroy or regenerate me effortlessly if they desire to, I hold no fear; oddly enough, through bewilderment and newness, I know them by name. In the middle, stands Urieli, the one who speaks poetically; to tell me the conclusion. Next, stands Hadraniel, the one who shows; to unveil and reveal two notable moments from my lived life. Lastly, stands Vimelea, the one who listens; to lend me an opportunity to say anything before being judged over the things I no longer have say over. Is it ever truly over?

Vimelea approaches first, calling me by name. "Adamu!" she rumbles. The way she calls my name, reminds me that it is my name; it makes me forget every other instance where it was ever uttered. I meet her where she is, as she tells me of her purpose; and allows me to speak. Contrary to my rather unbothered poise and personification, may my humility preceed my reach. I tell her of all the goods and bads I've brought along from my human lived life; I withold nothing purposely. Yet, I feel as though she knows; they, know. Their interests in my affairs now, tells me they've been watching me throughout that entire life cycle. I gather my words back up, and recycle them into, "I accept whichever gate with my name on it". As Vimelea speaks her piece, nods her head, and gives way for Hadraniel.

Hadraniel approaches second, calling me by name. I meet him where he is, as he tells me of his purpose; and reveals to me two notable moments from my recent human life. In the first vision, I recall the night I encountered a boy apparently name Lucas. That night, my spirit wasn't inviting, and I didn't want to be bothered. Then, Lucas appeared; younger and smaller than I. He attempted to approach me, but when I realized what this stranger was doing, I loudly stated, "do not come any closer!" The waves of my voice and the black of my skin slowed him, yet he steadily progressed closer. Lucas stuttered as he fearfully fought his fear to speak to me. I refused to hear him out. I stood, and demanded again that he retreat and go another way, saying, "aiight na! I ain't playin'! Gone head on." Whatever reason, Lucas persisted. He obviously wasn't there to bring trouble, because he was humbled and soft the entire time. But I mentally blocked him out, and was now foolishly ready to defend my solitude physically. Though it seemed sensible to simmer and allow him to speak, I was too far too stubborn to consider; my words were disrespected, as my previous somber feelings transformed into anger. I stormed towards him, and shoved him with the force of years' old pressures. Lucas flew back easily, and landed painfully. He spoke no more, stared with childlike saddened eyes, and found the strength to run away. It was the best thing I could do for him; I figured. I was backed up with olden anger; I was relieved that he ran away. I felt as though I saved his life that night. The vision fades to another scene. Lucas, not long after the situation between him and I, arrived at his living place. He was met with insults from his parents, and anguish from his home. He wasn't living a happy life. Soon after, he took a trip to this very same realm before me. The vision ends; Hadraniel tells me that Lucas, returned to them, after being sent to me from them. Not only did I deny him, but I denied them; and another's life was lost.

Hadraniel reveals to me an entirely different vision, not allowing me the chance to speak about the first. He shows me the days of Star. Oh, yes, I remember her vividly. A woman, younger than I only by the calendar; she was bigger than I. Star was the one true Love of my life. The visions are pieces of our times together; mostly, moments of her joy. The visions are a timeline, from the day we met, when she was at her lowest in life, to the time we spilt, where she was at a newly evolved highness. Apparently, I Loved her to the point of freedom. Star didn't know Love until she met me; I had no idea I was doing something so grand. I was simply being my true self with her. The freedom I felt while being with her, allowed me to Love myself; my Love for self, allowed her to know Love in general. As the vision reveals, she discovered her worth through me. In fact, it was the discovery of her worth, that gave her the strength to finally agree on parting ways after I insisted relentlessly that we've grown apart. It wasn't easy, but Star's life carried on, as she met the true Love of her life after me, as she married, as she bore children, and as she prospered. Her and I wasn't meant to be together always, only long enough for her to receive the necessary ingredients to Love. All worked out as according to plan; I was commended by Hadraniel for delivering Love unto Star, for they sent her to me as well, and I Loved her as I was meant to. This vision is too deep to witness, indeed; for I feel as though I destroyed a life in that day. Yet, the contrary; makes me wonder though, if the death of Lucas was according to plan as well. Well, I'm not able to express my thoughts now, as Hadraniel speaks his piece, nods his head, and gives way for Urieli.

Urieli approaches third, calling me by name. I honestly have no clue as to if Urieli is a male or female. The other two angels are distinguishable by the way their energies feel; but, Urieli feels different. Whomsoever Urieli is, they are undoubtedly beautiful, as I meet them where they stand, as they tell me of their purpose. Urieli gently raises their wing-like extremities, and spreads their face to speak. What flows from their mouth is like honey and ginger; sweet and smooth, yet tense and provoken. Urieli speaks words that softly etch across my essence, saying,

"Mighty stands the beings of be, in the realm of seen, sought, and see. Limbo, purgatory, the place in between, stands a spirit from the human realm; ripped from its seams. You witness angels, gates, and scenes unknown; you speak only from what you know, you know only from what is shown. You should know, at very least, that there is indeed a soul within thy body; and that soul, when body cease, has a home to go on to rightly. You should know, there is light and dark, residing en masse always not; and how thy allowed Love to make it's mark, marks where thy soul shall make its resting plot. where do the souls live when not embodying the masses, is a question. Call it Heaven or Hell, Life or Death, blessing or lesson. For everything has a home, a dwelling of Love or a den of fear; the question that is worth the path you traversed long is, where do you go from here?"

That is the main question, the point of it all. As I stand in my space, rather floating; observing, taking it all in, I loudly repeat the question silently to myself. "Where do I go from here?" I subtly, patiently, await the answer ...