A Dream Come True

It all started with finding a box of photos labeled Sugar and Me. Juliana found a photo of her first summer with Sugar so long ago. She was wearing a pair of cover-all style long shorts with a striped T-shirt and cowboy boots. She was sitting atop Sugar grinning wide while putting her hand on Sugar’s neck. She closed her eyes and let the memory wash over her…

When Juliana was a child, the thing she dreamed about most was having a horse of her own. No one she knew personally had a horse and there was no place for a horse to live in her neighborhood, but practicality is not the stuff of dreams. Looking back, she could remember the first time she dreamed of riding a horse. She was four at the time. In her dream, she was riding bareback and galloping on a beach. She felt like she was flying. She remembered that upon awakening from that dream she felt like she was wrapped in a cloud of joy. For two years after that, she incessantly talked about horses, dreamed about horses, craved stories about horses, and wished and prayed fervently that she would one day have a horse of her own.  

During the summer she was 6 and turning 7 on her birthday in July, Juliana stayed with her grandparents for the summer. Her grandfather was the source of many horse stories, of which she never tired. He had grown up on a farm and been around horses all his life. In fact, as a rural mail carrier, he had begun his work for the post office carrying the mail on horseback; then he had a team of horses named Ann and Dan who pulled a buckboard that he drove to deliver the mail to country folk living outside the little town where her grandparents still lived that summer she stayed with them. She loved all the stories about Ann and Dan. Eventually, cars replaced horses in delivering the mail.

One day during that magical summer, Grandfather drove Juliana outside town to what he called the family farm. There was a large abandoned house that loomed mysteriously on the property where they parked the car.

“Look up there at that window,” Grandfather directed as they got out of the car. “The room behind that window is the birthplace of both your grandmother and your mother.”

Juliana stared at the house like it was sacred.

Grandfather took her hand saying, “Come with me across the road. I want to show you something.”

Hand in hand, Juliana and Grandfather walked across the road. He introduced her to the country folk who lived in a much smaller house. Together, child and grandfather walked past the small house and garden, passed through a gate into an open space where sat a barn.

“This is where your grandmother’s family kept their horses,” Grandfather explained, still holding her hand.

“When was that?” Juliana asked.

“Oh, long ago, way before your mother and father even knew each other.”

Juliana was entranced. She hadn’t known any of this family history or anything about the existence of this farm where she now stood. Just being in the presence of place where horses once lived made her heart beat faster. She was still holding Grandfather’s hand and squeezed it tighter as images of horses tumbled within her mind. Grandfather led her to a tall pecan tree and told her to wait in the shade.

“I’ll be right back. There is something I want to show you.”

With that, he disappeared into the barn and then reappeared carrying a child-sized saddle which he slung over a trough near the barn and called Juliana over to him. She didn’t need to be called again. She ran over to him, and stroked the saddle. She hardly dared to think what that saddle meant, but her curiosity was aroused.

“Doesn’t a saddle usually come with a horse?” she asked hopefully.

“It does,” he replied. “Stand still, wait here, and close your eyes.”

Juliana’s mind was bursting with excitement, but she stood still hardly daring to breathe.

Again, Grandfather disappeared into the barn.

Juliana cracked her eyes open, reached out, gripped the saddle horn, and closed her eyes yearning with her whole heart for a horse to appear. She heard her and smelled her before she saw her.

Grandfather said, “Open your eyes.”

Juliana opened her eyes and there stood the most beautiful horse she could’ve imagined. She gasped with delight.

She heard Grandfather say, “She is a mare named Sugar. Juliana, meet Sugar. Sugar, meet Juliana.”

Sugar was black with a white star on her forehead visible through wisps of her black forelock which exploded into her long thick back mane and flowing black tail whose tip touched the ground.  She had two white stockings on her rear feet and the most beautiful brown eyes which held Juliana tightly as she gazed into them. Time stood still.

“Go ahead and pat her neck. Talk to her,” Grandfather’s voice broke through Juliana’s reverie.

She patted and stroked the lovely mare’s neck murmuring, “Sugar, Sugar, Sugar.”

The mare snorted and bobbed her head which startled Juliana who jumped back.

Grandfather laughed softly, “She’s just saying hello back. Watch me.”

He had been holding the lead and standing back a bit, but now he stepped in front of the mare talking softly, and she twitched her ears to show she was listening. Then, Grandfather reached out his hand and gently stroked her nose and cheek.

Juliana whispered, “Can I do that?”

“Yes, move over here and stand in front of me,” Grandfather answered softly.

She followed Grandfather’s directions and gingerly reached up to touch Sugar’s nose. It was so soft, and the mare didn’t seem to mind. She was too short to reach much higher on Sugar’s head, and then suddenly, the mare lowered her head as if to say, “Go ahead. Stroke my cheek.”

Juliana did so murmuring, “Sugar, Sugar, Sugar,” and was instantly besotted with the mare.

Watching his granddaughter falling in love with the mare, Grandfather quietly stated, “I have rented her for the summer, so you can learn to ride.”

Juliana continued to gently rub Sugar’s velvety nose and asked, “And the saddle?”

“On loan for the summer,” Grandfather answered.

Juliana looked up at Grandfather with her eyes beaming joy and a wide grin spreading across her face. She realized she had been holding her breath.

As she exhaled, she said, “Thank you, Grandfather. This is going to be the best summer ever!”

From a bag she hadn’t noticed before, Grandfather pulled out a big brush and handed it to her. She held it waiting for the explanation she knew was coming. That was Grandfather’s way.

He began, “Lesson One today is about you and Sugar getting to know each other. Horses like to be brushed. It’s a good way for you two to get to know each other.”

He pulled a small sack of molasses covered oats from the same bag that had produced the brush. He sprinkled them into the trough. Then, positioned Sugar so she could eat. She immediately dipped her soft nose into those sweetened oats. He looped the lead around a post near the end of the trough and came around to where Juliana stood transfixed holding the brush and watching Sugar chomp on the oats.

Grandfather said, “I’ll show you. Please hand me the brush.” She did. He showed her how to follow the grain of the hair and brush Sugar as she ate. He continued saying, “Do it like that as high as you can reach. Talk to her quietly and be aware of her feet.”

Just as he said feet, Sugar lifted her hind foot up and set it down near but not on Grandfather’s foot.

They both laughed, and Grandfather handed Juliana the brush, continuing to instruct her, “You don’t want her to step on your feet, and she wouldn’t do so on purpose, but she is a horse and horses move their feet sometimes when you brush them.”

“Were you ever stepped on?”

“Yes, I learned the hard way because nobody warned me,” he answered.

She nodded and got busy brushing. Sugar concentrated on the oats.

Grandfather disappeared again into the barn and reappeared a few minutes later carrying a bridle and a saddle blanket. Juliana kept brushing. She knew what these things were from pictures in books. He set them down near the saddle. She continued brushing as Sugar munched the last of the oats.

“Are you ready for lesson Number Two for today?”

She nodded vigorously.

Grandfather took Sugar’s lead and backed her up until she was in position for him to slip the bridle on while he slipped off the halter. Sugar was familiar with this routine and without complaint, accepted the bridle and bit. Grandfather explained every move he made to Juliana. Sugar seemed unperturbed by all of it.

Grandfather handed Juliana the reins saying, “Stand here, watch, and stroke her while I saddle her.”

He took the brush and deftly brushed all the bits of the mare that were too high for Juliana to reach talking softly to Sugar. Next, came the saddle blanket and the saddle while she flicked her tail a bit, but stood steady. He tightened the girth and stepped back smiling.

“Walk her a little ways, over to the pecan tree and back.”

Juliana did so feeling like she was standing at the gate to heaven.

Arriving back at the trough, Grandfather said, “Lesson Number Three for today.”

He told Juliana to stand up in the trough. He lined Sugar up so the stirrup on the left was within his granddaughter’s reach. Juliana trembled with excitement. Grandfather cautioned, “Steady, honey.”

She stopped trembling.

“Put your left foot,” and he tapped her left foot gently, “into the stirrup, grab the saddle horn, and pull yourself up as you swing your right leg over her back. Slip your right foot into the stirrup and sit up straight in the saddle. Then, I will lead her around a bit so you can get the feel of her.”

Juliana followed all Grandfather’s directions and soon she was seated straight in the saddle grinning with every molecule of her being.

“Ready?” he asked.

“Yes,” she answered happily.

He led Sugar around the barn area. She loved the feel of her. The twitching of her ears, the swish of her tail chasing a fly away, and even the smell of her—all were enchanting. She could hardly believe this was real and not one of her dreams. Her reverie was broken when they arrived back at the trough.

“Is there a Lesson Four for today?” she asked, fervently hoping the answer would be yes.

Grandfather smiled and said, “Yes, your first solo ride is Lesson Four. She tapped her fingertips of both hands together, what she and Grandfather called “Quiet Delight Clapping” He smiled a little wider and handed the reins up to her and showed her how to hold them in one hand. He showed her how to neck rein Sugar. He continued saying, “When you are ready to go, just press your heels lightly into Sugar’s side while making a click-click sound with your tongue and then say, ‘Let’s go.’ After you two have ridden together awhile, when she hears you make the click-click sound, she’ll be moving.”

Juliana nodded, and took a deep breath to calm herself. She held the reins in one hand, lightly pressed her heels into Sugar’s side, made the click-click sound saying “Let’s go.” Sugar began walking ahead and Juliana neck reined her flawlessly signaling her to turn toward the pecan tree, which she did. Then, she neck reined her around the tree and rode her to the trough pulling up on the reins and bringing her to a stop aligned parallel with the trough.

Grandfather was blooming with a very wide grin.

“Well done, darlin’. Hand me the reins and I’ll hold her steady. You dismount by swinging your right leg up onto her back and holding the horn and the back of the saddle’s seat, lift yourself slightly as you slip your foot out of the left stirrup. Then, push off and jump down into the trough with both feet.”

Juliana thought, this is where my gymnastic training all last year is going to help. After one false start and a little extra help from Grandfather with slipping her left foot from the stirrup, the dismount was accomplished. Sugar helped too, because she never moved from her spot. Juliana stood proudly, feeling empowered, in the trough patting Sugar and grinning at Grandfather. She had no idea how much time had passed.

Grandfather’s voice pierced her consciousness. What was he saying, she thought.

“I’m sorry, Grandfather, I was not listening properly. Please repeat what you said.”

“Lost in the joy of your first solo ride? I understand,” Grandfather smiled. “I was saying we have to take off all the tack, saddle , blanket, and bridle, and put it away. We have to put her halter with the lead on, take her back to her stall where we will brush her again, feed her more grain, and then put her out in the pasture for the night.”

“Will she be all right?”

“Yes,” he answered.

Everything finished, they walked out of the barnyard, past the little house and back to Grandfather’s car parked where they had left it across the road in front of the house where her grandmother and mother had been born.

“Will we come tomorrow?” Juliana asked hopefully.

“Yes,” Grandfather assured her and continued, “After I get home from carrying the mail, we’ll have mid-day dinner and then come out to the barn. You are a natural, my sweet. It’s like you’ve been riding for years.”

“But I have, Grandfather, in my dreams, and today you made my dreams come true. Thank you, thank you, thank you,” she said as she held out her arms for a hug.

He swept her off her feet and into his arms squealing with her as she squealed in delight as they gave each other a sustained, sweet, firm hug…

Juliana opened her eyes and looked down at her lap. She still held the photo she had found showing her happiness with Sugar. Tears trickled down her wrinkled face. That day and the memory thereof were precious gifts. Grandfather had made her greatest childhood dream come true, and she remembered it all in vivid detail. The memory Grandfather created with his gift borne of love was a gift that kept on giving and helped soften the inevitable losses of loved ones. Life had taught her loss of loved ones was an expected consequence of living a long time on Earth. When a loved one dies, physical separation occurs. Grieving starts. She had learned that having good memories of a loved one who has died helps the healing of grief and at the same time, nourishes the living. That life lesson had been reinforced today through finding the photograph of her sitting on Sugar and the aroused memory of Grandfather making her childhood dream come true.

She got up moving toward her kitchen to make a little supper. She thought to herself, tomorrow I will have to see what other memories are in that box I found.