Just Learn to Like it

“It smells like manure,” Jim thought to himself as he walked quickly from the burning summer sun into the giant hardware store. Looking over to his right he saw two pallets of fertilizer with big hand written signs advertising how great they were for your lawn and sold the lowest price around. He was excited because this was his first day on the job at Inside and Out Hardware…”Where we have what you need inside and out!” exclaimed the lady from the speaker system. 

Jim made his way quickly to the back wall where the employee lounge and training area was. Being over six feet tall he took naturally long strides and tried to carry himself upright without slumping. Wavy brown hair and skinny as a rail he was always self-conscious about his height and how easy it was for him to look like an old man if he didn’t keep his shoulders back. He found his way to the door marked Human Resources and knocked. The door opened quickly and Jim moved aside as fast as he could without tripping over himself. A young lady walked out first who had the puffy red eyes of someone who had been crying and weakly smiled at him as she returned to work. A woman of around middle age followed her out and immediately smiled at me with the enthusiasm most people save for close friends. 

“Hi there, how can I help you? My name is Anne.” she said. She was mousey and her hygiene was immaculate. Her clothes had no stains or wrinkles and her brown hair was cut shoulder length. At any given moment she looked prepared to be in a company newsletter photo. 

“My name is Jim and I was told to be here at 2pm for training in the plumbing department.” As I said this her eyes got unbelievably wide and she smiled, “Oh that sounds great I’m so happy you're here. Why don't you sit down right there at that terminal and I’ll get you started on some online courses to prepare you for working on the floor.” He didn’t know why exactly she liked him so much but Jim couldn’t help but feel better about working there. 

“Uh oh, looks like the training portal is down. Hmmm…” she scrunched her face in deep thought for a moment and then the billboard smile returned in full force. “ I know! We can just have you shadow someone on the floor for a while until it comes up again. That sound ok to you Jim?”. She said it in the nicest way possible that someone can say something and still leave no room for debate.

“Ah yeah sounds good to me” he stammered out.

“Great lemme call Sam and have him meet you back here so he can mentor you today. He has been in plumbing for awhile now. This will work out just fine.” She sounded utterly confident so it must be true, Jim thought. Well Sam did indeed come to escort him to the plumbing department floor. Sam was a bit more ….gruff than Ann was. He was a retired plumber that needed a job for insurance because his wife was “always sick and running up the bills at home” he claimed. Jim did his best to keep up with Sam for the first hour. He flew through the department answering customer questions like some kind of overalls, brown vest, thick glasses, old boots wearing wizard plumber clerk. The amount of information in his wrinkled head about how to manipulate water was staggering. Jim could only thank the Inside and Out Hardware gods that Sam was there to train him.

“Well it's 3 finally. Time for me to go. What time are you here till Jim?” Sam said with a sly look on his face.

“Anne didn't say actually” he replied. “I guess I’ll just go back and see if the training terminal is up.” Seemed reasonable to Jim anyways. 

“Alright just do your best hehe” Sam said with a knowing grin. 

After walking to the back to find no sign of Anne and a dark window into her office as an indication she had gone home, Jim used some initiative to ask at the service desk for a manager.

He waited no longer than 10 minutes for a short hairy man that jangled with the authority only managers keys can give. 

    “You Jim?” he gasped out between breaths as if he had ran up to the service desk.

    “Yes sir it’s my first day and…” Jim tried to get out but was quickly cut short.

    “Ok follow me my name’s Greg” he said out the side of his face as he walked in the direction of the plumbing department. “What time are you here until? jingle” Greg asked while keeping a swift pace.

    “Umm she didn't tell me but I came in at two for training and orientation” Jim said as positively as he could. They rounded the corner to the plumbing department and Greg asked, “Well I need you here until 11 to close the department. Can you work that? jangle”. Jim wanted to be a team player so he said “Sure thing no problem” and smiled with what he hoped looked like confidence. 

    “Alright good deal. Call me at 102 if you have any questions but you should be fine.” With that Greg walked away into whatever hazy mist that retail managers walk into and are never heard from again. “This will be fine,” Jim said to himself. Summoning the courage that only the ignorant can, Jim walked up to a filthy man wearing muddy blue jeans and a formally white t-shirt. “How can I help you sir?” Jim said in his best I know what I’m doing voice.

    “ Ah yeah I need a ¾ inch schedule 40 street 90, where are they at?” The man replied without taking his gaze away from the green steel shelf he was intently searching.

    Jim had no idea. Not only did Jim have no idea where it was, he didn't know what it was or if they even had any. “Gimme a second and I’ll ask,” he improvised. Making his way to a phone located at the nearest desk he called 102. After 5 rings there was still no answer. Ten rings and Jim hung up in defeat. Without knowing who else to turn to Jim went back to Muddyjeans and put on an apologetic face. “I’m sorry sir but I couldn’t find anyone that knows. Maybe I can help you look for it?”

    “I don’t have time for that crap. If you can’t get me someone who knows what they are talking about then I’ll go somewhere else.” the man spat out. The customer turned away in disgust and Jim could swear he heard the man grumble something about an idiot and maybe even useless. 

Jim had no way of knowing it then but that interaction would be the beginning of a lifetime of customer service. Years of moving from one job to the next in retail. Day in and day out of “useless” and “idiot” no matter how good the service or product sold. Sure Jim would learn how to manipulate and maneuver his way through the day as well as any customer service veteran even though talking with people was never to his liking, but his opinion of them would never recover. Smile on command, shake his head in seeming agreement with whatever Mr. Gimme E. Free says when he complains while standing inside Jim's personal bubble, apologize at the drop of a hat. All these retail weapons Jim would grow to master and wield in the service of whoever was paying him at the time. Jim would also come to know the heavy weight of keys on his belt and the musical accompaniment they provided when he was in a hurry. Lastly he would never be rid of the smell of manure in his nostrils no matter the retailer he currently served. After a while, no matter how hard he tried to learn to like it or make it work, they all smelled the same.