"Swim Deep"

I was finishing up my shift at the bar. For three years, this had been my workplace. After struggling to find a job to match my career of choice, I decided to stick with what I knew best, which was being a bartender. The job didn't pay much, but it did bring in great tips. Those tips were also used for my room and board at one of the hotels on the strip. This was home for me, and making the best of it was the only thing that mattered.

After closing, I headed across the street so that I could pay my boarding fee at the room. This place was fifty dollars a night and close to the bar. I only had my gym bag with just a couple of outfits to get me through the week. So, every day I would take my personal belongings with me because sometimes I would have to go to a different room. There was one side for the locals, and if the owner ran out of space, then I had to give up my room. Things were not always permanent, and I had gotten used to that.

The one thing this hotel did have was a huge pool. I love swimming, and when I wasn't at the ocean, then the pool was the next best thing. The establishment was small, and the rooms were out of date, so having the huge pool made up for the other amenities that weren't available. The internet service was not included in my fee, and I didn't complain because I knew that I couldn't afford it. I had my cell phone, and if I really needed to get to a computer, then the local library was nearby.

After work, I would take a swim. Jumping off the diving board made me feel like I was in the Olympics. Even though the water was not always clean, it was still great to swim in. It was great because for me it was my only therapy. This was the way that I got through most of my days. I needed that due to my failures of not succeeding in life. Being a bartender was not my choice; it was what I used to survive in the world. My career choice was owning my own swimsuit store. And due to a lack of capital and knowledge on getting ahead of the game, I had failed in meeting my goals in life.

That night I went down by the pool for a swim. There were a couple of people already down by the pool. I looked out at the distance that I was going to swim. I figured that I would do a couple of laps and head back to the room. The distance looked short when I put my googles on. The water was 12 feet deep, and the distance was about 25 yards to 75 feet. This was long and big enough for me; I didn't need anything else.

Although I usually swam at night so that I could sleep better, something about this night felt different. I started to walk up the ladder so that I could dive in. When I got to the top and walked out to dive, I noticed that everyone had left. I was standing alone at the edge of the diving board, waiting to jump in. As I stood out at the edge, I looked out towards the ocean. I could see the lighthouse and the red light that kept blinking off and on.

It was almost as if it were a ready mark for me to dive in. Putting myself in a position as I bend my knees and dive, all my inner thoughts have left me. And as I dive in, I begin to think about the decisions that I have made throughout my life. In my mind, I kept If only I knew back then what I know now. I could have planned better, or I would have taken the smarter route. On a side note, if everyone could foreshadow their lives ahead of time, then we all would probably be inevitable. During this dive, I had flashbacks to every person or conversation that took place in my life.

There I was in this pool, heading to somewhere that I had never been or didn't know existed. I swim down to the bottom of the pool and enter into another world. As I came back up on the other side of the unknown, things were different. I was on an island full of people who knew me. People were sitting out by the pool getting suntans, and waiters were walking around handing out drinks. There was a bar that stood at a distance, and it had my name on it. Someone came to me and handed me a towel. That person looked at me and said, "Will there be anything else, ma'am?"

My reaction was dumb founded, as I took the towel and dried off. I stood back and looked around. I was no longer at the pool but on an island with my name on it. The thought of me owning an island was crazy! I didn't have a dime to my name or a pot to cook in. I was your average broke .... and there I stood on this island in royalty. I looked over to the left and saw that there was a huge hotel, and inside was a swimsuit store. The sign was flashing "Purchase your Swimsuits Here!"

As I began to walk towards the store to get a look inside, someone brought me a phone. I wasn't expecting anyone, given the fact that I didn't know where I was. Who on earth could be calling me, I thought. No one knows that I am here. I held the phone close to my ear and said, "Hello!" A voice came on the phone and said, "Did you get everything that you wanted?" I paused for a huge moment because I wasn't sure if all of this was what I wanted. I have always wanted a business career, but never in a million years did I imagine an island.

I nodded my head back and forth and responded with, "What!" I didn't have a response to the question that was asked. Suddenly, the phone hung up, and I woke up with EMTs giving me CPR. I was back on the other side of my world. A reality of what I knew, and it wasn't looking good for me. I was standing outside of my body, watching someone bring me back to life.

I wasn't sure, but it felt like I needed to make a choice on where I was going to be. The problem was how I chose to get there. And from looking at things, it seemed like it was only going to be in my dreams. So, I began to pace back and forth as I watched myself lying on that patio. I wanted what I wanted, but I didn't want it the way I imagined. This was not the way to my success, and I was going to do better for myself.

An angel appeared next to me and said, "What are you going to do?" I looked at my angel and said, "Live!"

I closed my eyes as my soul walked back into the body that was on the patio. Suddenly, I found myself coughing up water as I gasped for air. There I was, surrounded by people who saw me dive in and didn't come back up. Someone had called the EMTs for help. The hotel manager came up to me and asked me if I was alright, and I replied, "Yes!" He said, " Are you crazy!" "I can't afford a lawsuit!" "So, can you please stay in your room when you are here!"