What Happened Last Night

I couldn’t believe my eyes. Now I’ve heard some people deal with a lot of pre-marital jitters, and sometimes it makes you do crazy things sometimes. I, however, never knew it could get this bad. You’ll have to forgive me for the vagueness. I’m still trying to process here, so let me just take it from the top.

           It all started when I woke up this morning from my best friends couch. I woke up with worst back ache I’ve experienced in years. What’s worse is I didn’t even understand how I even ended up there. I remember the night before I went out for a final night of drinking as a single man with my old friends from college, and I just somehow ended up with a stiff back and bed hair.

           I walked around looking everywhere around my friends apartment, but he was nowhere to be found. It was like my thoughts were being played through an aux. So I decided to just head to bathroom, and throw some water on my face to maybe wake me up to what had happened. Once I reached the sink I saw a note right next to the sink with the words, “Call me”, on it. Had the number 505-645-2302 written below the message.

           Now I won’t lie and say that I wasn’t hesitant to call the number, but we’ve got to admit it was pretty much set up for me to call. I just figured that it’s my best chance to figure out how I had gotten here, so why not? I called the number and my thoughts were going everywhere. What if this is like those movies where the serial killer goes and tries to make me solve riddles or something or worse? What if this is a bad attempt at payback by my friend for when I stole his idea for the paper and ended up getting the internship instead? Or maybe….

As my mind was going a mile a minute I heard a soft, “Hello”.  I could tell it was a woman’s voice, but didn’t have a clue who it was. It suddenly hit me. I must’ve broken my boundaries during my time drunk. It all made sense of course. When I get around my friends I’ve been said to become a whole different animal. “Hello” the woman said sternly the second time. I was so caught up with my own thoughts I had forgotten she was even still on the phone. I quickly responded, “Yes, sorry. I just saw a note in my bathroom, and it told me to call this number.” The womans entire demeanor switched from confused to flirtatious in seconds. “Oh, it’s you. You don’t remember? I left that there for you just in case you wanted to go for round 2.”

           I nearly dropped the phone when I heard those words. I couldn’t believe that on just the day before my wedding I had already broken my vows. I didn’t know how I was going to deal with it, but I knew first and foremost that I had to let this woman know so I wouldn’t waste anymore of her time. “See, I think I may have made a mistake. I’m getting married today, and I didn’t at all mean for anything to happen between me and you.” I said hesitantly. For a moment there was a slight pause, but that quickly turned to hysteric laughter.

           Saying I was confused would’ve been an understatement. I was about as lost as could be just looking to figure out what the joke was cause I certainly wasn’t laughing. “I’m sorry, but am I missing something here?” “Josh, I think you might be a little hungover.” The woman said while trying hard to fight back laughter. At that moment I was starting to get more than a little pissed off.

I was filled to the brim with questions. “OK, I’m gonna need you to tell me exactly what happened between us.” “hahaha it’s really nothing serious. You were hammered at the bar last night, and to be fair I was too. You tried flirting with me a little, but started hitting yourself to punish yourself for cheating. I found that a little funny and you and your buddies eventually found yourself over at my place.” “And what did we end up doing here?” “We did a few try not to laugh challenges and your drunk self ended up winning them all. I wanted another crack at it so I left my number for when you woke up.”

           After she finished her story I was more than a little hesitant to believer her, especially when she mentioned she just left me here. “You thought it was smart to leave a stranger in your apartment alone?” I had to know the real story here before I could even end up facing my fiancé, so I knew I would end up getting a little harsh. Her response, however, was much different than I had anticipated. “I’m gonna be extremely honest with you Josh. I can’t see you hurting a fly, and not to mention you told me where you live. So, I don’t think it would be in your best interest to consider doing anything to my apartment.”

           A cold chill went down my spine once she made her threat. I had no clue what I should do, so I decided it would be best to let it go. “I understand well thank you for the accommodations, and I’ll be on my way.” “I think that’s the smartest thing you said all day.” “Thank you, goodbye.” Without a moments notice I quickly rushed to my apartment to prepare for my wedding in the next couple of hours.

           Once I arrived at the venue I had dressed up in my all white tuxedo and strolled in like nothing was going on. I had approached my grooms men to talk about what had happened, but all of them had been acting extremely awkward. I had walked around and asked pretty much each one of them what was wrong. It was pretty serious I could tell. The only explanation I could think of is that the woman had lied to me. I fell to my knees and more than a few tears began to roll down my face. I was so hurt. I had broken my wife’s trust and I had just been lied to. I knew it was far too good to be true.

           I had walked around back and forth wondering just how I was going to break the news to my wife, and decided that it would be best to just tell her the truth. I headed to her part of the church to tell her the bad news. I just have to be honest with her. I know you’re not supposed to see your fiancé before the wedding, but this is one of the rare exceptions. She’ll probably call off the wedding, but I don’t want our marriage to be based on lies.

           Once I opened those doors I honestly began thinking maybe it would’ve been better if I had cheated that night because what I saw had me questioning everything I’ve ever known. I had walked in on my future wife making out with my mother. The room was uncomfortably silent so I decided to ease the tension. I tried talking, but I started fumbling over my words until I decided to pause and take a deep breath. “What in the Fuck is going on!!”

           My fiancé broke away from my mother and decided to speak. “I’m sorry Josh, but your mother and I have been in love for the past 2 years, and….” Everything my now ex-fiance had muttered after those words were practically silent to me. The amount of rage I was experiencing had me shaking with aggression, but as soon as it came it left just as quick. I just decided to take off my ring, drop it to the floor, and walk right out the door. My mother tried calling out to me, but her words simply went through one ear and out the other.

           Others tried to console me as I went to exit the church, but all of there words fell on deaf ears. I didn’t blame them cause I could tell their hearts were in the right place, but I knew I needed time away from anyone who might’ve possibly known about this. With that being said I needed to vent to someone. I started digging through my contacts and found the number of the woman who I had talked to earlier.

           The phone began to ring and I was doubting I’d get any sort of response. Then I got the same calm and soft, “Hello”. “You up for that second round?” “I thought you’d never ask.”

THE END