My Cousin Johnny

I am about to leave my hometown of Montreal, Canada to go visit my cousin Johnny who lives in Lanark, Scotland, today, October 24^th 2020. I have not seen him in ten years. Although his name on his birth certificate is John, we all call him Johnny. He is the son of my father’s brother. Uncle Henry is Johnny’s dad.

Last time I saw him, it was during summer 2009, here in Montreal. We were both ten. I still remember like it was yesterday. He came over with his parents, and stayed a full two weeks with us. We had a blast! Johnny is like a brother to me. We were born a few months apart. We shared lot of similar interests and hobbies.

Growing up as a single kid, there was not much action going on in my house. Being the only kid, I became very lonely and became a loner. It was part of my reality and I did not mind it at all. I developed this introvert personality and always stayed busy with school, reading, writing, soccer and chess as after school extracurricular activities. Moreover, helping my mom with cooking and running for errands. My mom was a housewife, and my dad worked full time in a textile company as a dyer. Long hours. Twelve-hour shifts, six days a week. My dad worked hard and my mom as well. She took care of everything in the house along with the groceries. My mom is the best! My dad knows that also. Her job is almost 24/7. Nowadays, me being an adult, she worries less about me and has more time for herself.

Since 2015, for some reason, my dad ceased calling Uncle Henry, and likewise, no calls from my uncle. No emails and no text messages. I ask my dad if he was in a conflict with his brother. My dad never gave a clear answer and told me to not mention about Uncle Henry ever. I tried to get details from my mom, but nothing. It just felt like Johnny and his parents, vanished from our lives forever. We spoke on the phone on a weekly basis and all that was gone now.

A couple of weeks ago, I got an email from Johnny. He did not seem to well. He was asking me to come visit him as soon as possible. That he missed me so much and that he had to see me. That it would make him feel better. It feels like he is going through a depression and I am not sure what lead to that.

At the moment, I took a semester off from University. I decided to concentrate on working full time and save money. I was thinking of going back to school next winter semester in January, or even wait till next fall in 2021. I could use a two-week vacation and cheer my cousin Johnny and his family.

The problem was my parents. I mean, we have not spoken in five years to Johnny and his parents. Would they approve of my departure to go to Scotland? I am over eighteen. I am an adult. I am going. Also, I got my own place now. There is no reason to not go. Scotland, here I come!

The flight went well. I arrived at the Edinburgh Airport and from there to my Uncle Henry’s place, another forty-five minutes by car to Lanark.

The last time I was here, I was barely five. I have vague memories of this city, and neighborhood. This was my second visit here only. The cab drops me off exactly at the address mentioned in the email Johnny sent me. I remember now the library that was on the other side of the street and still standing there.

As I am standing outside, right in front of the main door entrance, I take look at the address from my phone to make sure it is correct. The street was aligned with these same type of house models. Built in brick with slate roofs, stone details and a modest decoration. Indeed, from the Victorian era.

I notice a face from the window from the second floor of Johnny’s house. A hand is waving at me to come inside. I see that it is my cousin. Finally! After so many years I will meet someone that I consider as my brother.

The door was unlocked as I turned the knob to enter the house. Once in, I close the door. Drop my bags. I felt this heavy dense air in the house but it was so quiet. So quiet, that you wonder if that is normal. I yell out to my cousin to come down and greet me. No response after a few attempts. As I go up the stairs where is bedroom is located, I opened the door gently, and I see him lying in bed.

‘’Johnny!!!’’, I exclaimed. ‘’It has been ages since we’ve seen face to face. It took a decade to meet again. I am so happy to see you, old cousin!”

He was not moving much. He did turn his head towards me to greet me. The curtains were shut down. The room was dark, cold, peaceful, and again, I felt a heavy presence of something. Very difficult to describe. I felt chills in my body.

‘’Rich, you finally made it. Glad to see you here cousin. I know my email was last minute but I needed to see you. I am not feeling well and my parents are out of town for the past three weeks. They are back in two weeks. They went on a trip to Spain and Portugal. I decided to remain here, and take care of the house, while working at the library for now. You know how close is that place. Very convenient for me. I don’t need a vehicle or a bus pass’’.

Johnny seemed tired, with no energy, no enthusiasm and strength in his voice. He seemed like a different person. Not saying that because I am seeing him after ten years but this is not him. Not in spirit at least.

As we try to catch up on the past five years of our lives, he remains in bed, while chatting with me. I ask him if he would like to out maybe. Have some tea perhaps. At the same time, get some fresh air. I wanted to say get some sun but it is a gloomy day. He declined to leave the house.

‘’Johnny, are you just depressed, or it is something more serious?”

‘’I feel good but I seem to be missing something.’’

‘’Like what?’’

‘’Forget it. You won’t understand.’’

‘’Can you get out of your bed? At least shake my hand and give me a big hug old cousin.’’

As he sits on the bed, coming out from the blankets, I look at the mirror that is two feet away parallel to his bed. I see my reflection but…not his…

‘’Johnny!!!!’’

He looks at me with a pale face.

I hear the downstair door open. I hear a couple of voices. As I rush down the stairs, I see my uncle and aunt. They were astonished to see me in their house.

‘’Rich! What are you doing here?

‘’Oh, Uncle Henry! I got a message from Johnny that he was not feeling too well. So, I decided to fly over and spend a couple of weeks with him.’’

‘’Son…Johnny…is…’’

My aunt looked at me with a lot of grief in her face. ‘’Rich, you cousin passed away a month ago from a pneumonia.’’

‘’I saw him upstairs, just a few minutes ago but in the mirror…’’

‘’Richard, Johnny is gone…’’, explains my uncle.

I run back up the stairs. Johnny is no longer in his room. I see a dark shadow in the mirror though. I run back down stairs and Johnny’s parents have vanished. I was gone for a minute at most.

The doorbell rings. I open the door. There is no one. I look straight in front of me, to my right, to my left. Not a soul. From the library window I see Uncle Henry, my aunt, and Johnny. All three looking at me with a emotionless face. I immediately leave the house. Close the door behind me. This is not something you experience on a daily basis.

As I am standing in front of the house, my cell rings. I answer and it is my dad. He called me to tell me that a few weeks ago, my uncle and aunt were involved in a car accident in Spain. Not long after that, Johnny succumbed due to pneumonia. The lawyer taking care of their will called my dad to give all this information. My dad should have told me about this when he got the news and not wait a few weeks.

I will miss my Scottish family. Especially John Arthur Cain, my beloved cousin. 

I am not sure now if I won’t to enter the house. I must pick up my luggage…