Peanut butter

I was in boot camp at Parris Island, S.C. We were in about the 3rd week of training and marching to the mess hall for lunch Chow. We were used to scarfing chow down, but today, the Drill Instructor told us we had to burn some time. We were told to take our time and eat. Could this be true? Actually, taste your food? This was going to be an interesting Chow! While marching through the Chow line, I could not help but remember the industrial-sized can of peanut butter that teased me every day. I loved peanut butter. I craved peanut butter so badly every time I passed it, and today was the day I would have time to taste it again. As I passed the giant peanut butter temptress, I slowed and slapped a slab of pure joy on my tray, grabbed a slice of bread, and hustled to the table. I still scarfed down my chow as usual, but this time with the wonderful aftertaste of a thick peanut butter sandwich. Easily, the best food in my life! 

After what seemed like an exceptionally long wait, our Drill Instructor yelled and we formed up outside. Off we marched, but my taste buds were still savoring that peanut butter sandwich. I was marching on in pure bliss until we arrived at our location. Our barracks. We fell out and went inside and got on line as told. We all produced a full canteen as instructed. "Drink it all. When you finish the entire canteen, hold it upside down over your head." I felt my stomach tighten more with every drink. If that was not enough as the canteen emptied into my mouth, it washed all the remains of the wonderful taste of peanut butter. We all had held our canteens over our heads, and the Drill Instructor yelled "Get your other canteen and get on line." This was getting serious fast. My stomach was so full already, I did not know if I had enough room for anything else. "Drink it all!", came the order. I upended my canteen like everyone else. With each drink, I felt I would burst open. I opened my eyes and was staring at a light above my head. It seemed so bright. I heard a ruckus I could not put my finger on. Then, my senses all sharpened, and panic set in. There was commotion all around me. I realized the light I was staring at was the light above my bed. It was morning reveille, The Drill Instructors were throwing trash cans and screaming at us to get up!  

As I fought with my uniform buttons, I realized how bad I had to use the bathroom!  I threw on my boots and finished getting into my uniform.  With 50 other guys, who all had the same idea as I did, I raced toward the head. It was a "cram everyone in the same trough and take care of business" type of situation. With that nightmare out of the way, we started the day.  There was yelling coming from everywhere and of everything until we got back on line and counted off. With that done, we moved outside to form up in columns of four.  You had seriously little time to let your mind wander, but when I could, I did.  I learned to march as I smelled the distinct swampy aroma of a Parris Island morning, to hear the songs of birds in the morning, and to view the early sun shining down. And the heat, before it became oppressive, felt good.

Heading to Chow was everyone's favorite part of the day.  I used to make it through each day by making it Chow to Chow. "OK, you made it through the day to lunch", I told myself, "Now, just make it to dinner.  Small victories, I guess.   

 As we marched on to the next milestone in our day, I remembered the dream.  That sandwich of mine!  "That was a good dream", I thought to myself, "I wonder if I could pull that off?"   I really liked peanut butter, but that would mean standing in the condiment area to get it, a place we really did not get to visit.  We usually had three minutes to finish eating and stopping off for something as frivolous as ketchup or, well, anything, for that matter. It was pretty much out of the question.   

 Marching up to the Chow hall doors, we started the process of getting through the doors in formation, marching in, forming a line, and beginning the process of morning nutrition. As I worked my way up through the line, I could not think of anything else now but, that stupid peanut butter.  I knew where it was.  I could just stroll through and snatch a scoop and just act like I belonged there. I would simply just get one scoop and go.  Honestly, go right by there and just do it. I was slick enough to pull this off!  I made it to the eggs and started the procedure.  “Eggs recruit?", asked the server. “Aye Recruit.”, was my reply.  I received my eggs. I side stepped down to the next station, still thinking of that peanut butter.  This was going to happen!  “Potatoes recruit?”, the next server asked. “Aye recruit.”, I replied.  I received potatoes.  This kept on with the selection of choices I could not even comprehend, but I still answered, “Aye recruit”.  Then," I was at the end.  It was now or never.  "OK, just turn and move to the objective", I thought. I stepped as normally as I could, fighting the urge to run.  Swoop in, scoop, and swoop out.  Here we go! 

  I got to the table.  My mouth ached, and I was salivating already. The giant can of peanut butter was open and sitting there like it had been set out just for me! It was all smooth and a brand-new can!  Victory!  As I excitedly picked up my spoon from my tray, I heard something that made my blood run cold. A steel wool sounding voice whispered, “Yoo Hoo! What do you think you are? Privileged?” 

“SIR, NO SIR!”, I exclaimed. My plan to swoop, scoop, and swoop just hit a wall. 

 “GET AWAY FROM MY PEANUT BUTTER, NOW!!”, screamed my Drill Instructor!   

 I rapidly retreated away from that area, sat at my table, and began the mission of eating, very quickly that is. Who would ever think the Drill Instructor would have been there.  I could still faintly smell the peanut butter.  I blindly ate whatever was on my tray until the Drill Instructor yelled for us to move.   

 We formed up outside to carry on with our day.  As we marched, my mind tried to wrap itself around what had just happened.  I should have known that was off-limits to us recruits.  It was the same way with cake.  We were never, and I mean never, supposed to touch the cake.  That was not the end of my craving, but I definitely did not want anything to do with the Drill Instructors' peanut butter.