DOORS OF CHOICE

Doors had always been important. Everyone knew that. Children were brought up hearing stories about doors appearing and disappearing. There were stories about choices being made to open an appearing door before its inevitable disappearance. Yet, stories about those who opened an appearing door evoked sadness and fear, because those who were curious and brave enough to step through such a door were neither seen nor heard from again.

By the time Calixa was born into the world, the steady vanishing of people generation after generation who purportedly walked through suddenly appearing doors caused a paralysis of the ability to choose. This had become the norm. The consequence of this norm was that doors were materializing less and less. The people had lost both the curiosity and courage needed to explore new experiences. They craved certainty in an uncertain world, and therefore, choosing to open any suddenly appearing door became something to avoid at all costs. Only the stories kept the possibilities of choice alive.

Calixa was filled with curiosity. As a toddler, she investigated everything, wanting to know was an obsession for her. She grew up in an unusual family who encouraged her curiosity and desire to know. She loved stories and the stories about doors were among her favorites. She heard them repeatedly when she was growing up.

The first time a door appeared to her, she was seven years old. It happened so fast that all she had a chance to do was reach toward it and it disappeared as suddenly as it came. She never mentioned this occurrence to anyone, but she remembered it as a story that came to life briefly for her. Though puzzling, life went on.

The second time a door appeared to her she was fourteen years old. She had become an adept dreamer and had night dreams and day dreams. So, when this second occurrence happened, she thought she dreamed it. She never mentioned it, but remembered it as a dream. Though puzzling, life went on.

The third time a door appeared to her, she was twenty-one years old. This time not one door appeared, but two. She was walking along a familiar footpath that connected the lane where she lived as a physics student with roommates and the lane where her university building and physics department were located. This footpath was a short cut she liked to take because it was shaded by almond trees which bloomed and bore nuts at different times of the year. There were no human-made structures on this footpath. So, when two doors materialized, one on each side of the footpath, and stabilized into solidity, she halted. She knew this was not a dream. This was a choice just like in the stories. The tingling in her body told her this was an important moment in her life.

Calixa turned to inspect the door on her right. It was close enough that she could touch it. So, she did, and slowly ran her hands over its smooth surface. As she did so, she saw a word appear.  The word was: Space. Additionally, enticing pictures appeared of different spaces such as oceans, starry skies, mountains, meadows, forests, images of nature with no life-forms depicted. Curious, thought Calixa.

Trembling, Calixa pivoted to inspect the door on her left. She repeated the action she had used on the door to the right. She ran her hands slowly over its slightly textured surface, and again, she saw a word appear. The word was: Time. The pictures accompanying this word were less distinct but suggested life forms from different eras in human history and prehistory on Earth. Curious, she thought.

Calixa pivoted again and again. Both doors remained stabilized and inviting. In fact, she could now see handles on each door that she had not seen at first. Space or Time? Would she choose one of these doors, or would she ignore the doors and walk on? Calixa did not walk on. Her activated curiosity held her in its grip. She knew as a physics student that time and space were linked. She wondered what it would be like to walk through a door marked Time as opposed to walking through a door marked Space. As she pondered this, a sudden flash of insight brought clarity to her. If she chose the door marked Time, there would be some space in which that time occurred. If she chose the door marked Space, there would be some time in which that space occurred. So, whichever door she chose, her circumstances would change. Moreover, if the stories she had heard all her life were true, she knew from the stories that there was no certainty  that she would ever return. She had always believed in the door stories. She closed her eyes and summoned the ability to decide. She felt her heart filling with courage. She opened her eyes, took a deep breath, and squared her shoulders. She reached for the door knob on the door marked Space, turned it, and the door opened. She stepped through the door. She glanced behind her just in time to see the door close and disappear. She dismissed any worry the door closing might have caused. She was excited and here to explore.

Calixa turned her attention to observe the space where she now found herself. She was no longer standing on the familiar shaded footpath. Instead, she was standing in an open meadow with hundreds of blue butterflies fluttering and feeding upon yellow flowers supported on tall, weedy stalks standing like feeding stations for the butterflies in the meadow. She gasped at the beauty surrounding her, the flowers, the meadow, the butterflies all ringed by a forest of purple blossoming trees emitting a most pleasant scent of roses into air, although no recognizable roses were actually there.

It was hot, so she decided to seek the shade. Trees bordered the meadow not far from where she stood. She sank down under the first tree to consider what was happening. It seemed that her choice of door was unveiling what might perhaps become a trail of choices, building one upon the other, and there was no certainty about where the trail would lead. The physicist part of her brain told her this was definitely an opportunity to abandon desire for certainty. She noted all the life forms around her. She thought that like in the world from whence she came, perhaps the only certainty was death. Her thoughts tumbled along. As a physicist, she also knew that life and death were inextricably linked. She wondered, is this my opportunity to learn more about this linkage of life and death? Maybe, maybe not. Why did the door bring me to this space? Calixa sighed. She was tiring from all the thoughts and questions swirling in her mind. Her last thought before falling asleep was: I’ll have to wait and see.

When Calixa awoke, pulsating stars filled the sky on a moonless night, and she was still leaning against the tree. She did not know how much time had passed, only that it had been bright daylight before she slept and now it was bright starlight on a moonless night. Calls from night birds perching in the trees were clear and oddly melodic. A chorus of crickets filled in spaces in the night birds’ music. Their symphony filled the air.

Calixa stood and stretched. She noticed a light flickering at a distance among the trees. She decided to seek the source of that light. No sooner had she made that decision than a faint footpath, which she had not noticed before, appeared. It seemed to be leading in the direction of the flickering light. She followed the light through the forest. After a while, she found herself on the edge of a clearing and staring at a stone, vine-covered cottage. The light was coming from a tall candle in a window of the cottage.

Ever curious, Calixa walked up to the cottage door and knocked. No one appeared. She knocked again louder and called out, “Hello, hello, anybody home?”

The door opened a crack, and she heard a voice say, “Come in, dearie, and have a cup of tea.”

Pushing the door open wider, Calixa entered. There was a table set for two with tea and sandwiches waiting. Candles provided light for the table. From the shadows beyond the candle light, stepped one small, smiling elder.

“Hello. Welcome to my humble home. So glad to have you join me for tea,” the elder said politely.

“Who are you?” asked Calixa.

“Oh my, questions after tea, please. Those are the rules. Please sit here. I will serve,” responded the elder politely but firmly.

Polite exchanges continued with the pouring of the tea and passing of the sandwich tray. They ate their sandwiches and drank their tea in companionable silence until all was consumed.

The elder spoke first, “To answer your first question. I am called the elder. How are you called?”

Calixa answered, “I am called Calixa.” She continued, “My mind is bursting with questions.”

“Of course, so let me tell you what I know from my experience in this space where you’ve just arrived,” offered the elder.

Calixa emphatically nodded her readiness to listen.

The elder launched into her narrative. “Like you, I came to this space through a door marked Space. I do not know how long ago because here time exists only connected to natural cycles such as day, night, seasons, moon phases, and the like. There are neither clocks nor calendars here. Many full moons ago, I gave up the urge to keep track of time. I am content here because I accept this space as it is. All who arrive here have some life lesson to learn. Mine has been and continues to be: ‘Be here now.’ Eventually, you will understand what your lesson is.”  

In the pause that followed, the elder cleared away the tea things from the table while Calixa pondered what she had just been told.

When the elder again returned to the table, Calixa asked, “are there other elders around?”

“No,” replied the elder, “none that I know of anyway.”

“You know the door marked Space that you entered through, did it close and disappear after you entered? Calixa asked.

“Yes, replied the elder, “and as I said, I’m content here. I reached this state of contentment because I surrendered my worries about returning. I decided if it was meant for me to return, I would, so no use worrying about it.” She beamed a light-filled smile at Calixa.

“I see,” Calixa replied. “What did you do after that surrender?”

“Built my cottage, observed the natural world around me, planted a garden using seeds from local edible plants, located a water source, lived, and now I’ve had a lovely tea with you.”

Calixa smiled. Daylight was fading to dusk, soon to be followed by night.

The elder spoke, “If you would like to stay the night, you may, but you will need to leave tomorrow to explore and journey on. If you trust yourself, you will find your way.”

“Thank you,” replied Calixa, “I accept your invitation.”

The elder led Calixa to a small room equipped with a narrow bed and a small bedside table upon which rested a candle and a wooden, water-filled vessel. The elder snapped her fingers and the candle lit up. She said kindly, “You can wash up in the water closet, blow out the candle, and have a lie down. Pay attention to your dreams,”

“Thank you, I will,” murmured Calixa,  just before the elder turned and left the room.

Calixa washed up and sank into a deep sleep as soon as her head touched the pillow. She dreamed vividly. She awoke at dawn. Her dreams had gifted her with radiant certainty. She hummed a favorite tune as she washed up, donned the clean clothes that had been laid out for her, and returned to the main room. When she walked into the main room, she saw breakfast laid out on the tea table. By her plate, there was an envelope addressed to her. Opening it, she found a card that read:

 Dear Calixa,

I so enjoyed your company. You will find a knapsack by the front door filled with useful items. These are gifts to aid you on your journey. Trust yourself, be brave, and you will find your way. Thank you for coming.

                                   The Elder

Calixa set down the note. She ate her delicious breakfast and then scrawled onto the envelope writing:

           Thank you for everything. I will never forget you.

                                   Calixa

Leaving the envelope on her empty plate, she retrieved the knapsack from the front door, put the note in a side pocket of the knapsack, slung the knapsack onto her back, and departed.

That first night of her journey, she pitched a camp near a fast-flowing stream, built a fire, and used the tea-makings the Elder had put in the knapsack to brew tea to drink with a sandwich also found in the knapsack. Besides the tea and sandwich, there were many more useful items in the knapsack such as an all-purpose knife and sheath, a poncho that could serve as a garment or a ground cover, a tin of tea, a hinged pot, a cup, a canteen, a compass, and best of all to Calixa, a thick blank journal, a dozen pencils, and two large erasers. Tucked inside the journal there was also a note from the elder which read:

Calixa, may your journey be revelatory. Here are three gifts from my heart to yours: 1.) Remember to follow your heart, 2.) Remember to be grateful for all that comes day by day and night by night, and 3.) Trust that you will come to know what you have been brought to this space to learn.

                                               Your friend,

                                              The Elder

As she read this note in the flickering firelight, she relaxed and rested, readying her mind for the morrow.

Many seasons passed as Calixa roamed and explored.

One day the realization of her lesson came. It wasn’t heralded by any great drama. She was kneeling by a babbling brook filling her canteen when a stream of images unreeled in her mind accompanied by the music of the brook. Her mind quieted as she listened to the music of the brook. Yes, she thought, that’s it! Life is a stream of events that flows along carrying us through space and time. She knew she must go with the flow of life, and trust that all would be as it was meant to be. Her heart thumped in her chest, and she grinned broadly. Standing up, she thought, I wish I could take this knowledge back home so everyone could know not to fear choices, and learn to embrace opportunities the doors presented. She decided that if she did return home, she would share her life lesson through her words and actions, and more importantly, the people would know the door stories were real.

That night as she made camp, she held an image in her mind of a door marked: Return Home. She wrote copiously in her journal until the fire died down. That night she sank into a deep, dreamless sleep. When she awakened, the sun was already climbing above the horizon. She tidied her camp and put her belongings in the still serviceable knapsack. Using her compass, she located North and walked in that direction because her heart told her to do so.

Suddenly there appeared before her what she thought at first was an unmarked door. She was drawn to it by invisible, powerful energy. When she was within arm’s reach, a marking appeared on the door that read: Return Home. With a full heart and trust surging through her, she touched the door, and it opened.

Calixa stepped through the door and found herself standing once again on the familiar footpath through the almond orchard. She walked to the university building that had housed the physics department. It was still there but appeared abandoned. The campus was deserted and silent. She noted that the pecan trees which had been planted there as seedlings about a month before she left were now very much full grown. This natural manifestation of the passage of years startled her. She tried the front door, but it was locked. She remembered a side door that was often left open. She found it unlocked behind a large, blooming lilac bush.

Upon entering the building, she caught a glimpse of a tanned, muscular older woman glowing with light. She realized she was seeing herself in a dusty lobby mirror. She was seeing what other humans she might meet would see and though surprised, accepted that fact. She surrendered to the flow of energy, trusting she would be guided, and left the building. She was intent on fulfilling her purpose of bringing the news to others that the door stories were indeed real, and was grateful for this opportunity to spread such news.

Calixa traveled widely spreading the news. She wrote a book from her journal, spoke to large crowds, and awakened millions to the power of choice possible when one accepted the opportunity to walk through a suddenly appearing door. She lived long and saw more doors were  being walked through. Because of sharing her story, those who did so often came back home to tell of their experiences and lessons. Before her death, Calixa met others who had gone through a door and returned fueling the people’s courage, curiosity, and trust to explore the unknown. The people learned not to fear decisions, to believe in themselves, and welcome experiences that stretched their horizons of what was possible in a life on Earth. Most of all, the people understood that the door stories were real, true, and nothing to fear.