Danger and Fame Don't Mix

Warning: Contains guns.

“Cut!” Digby yells in his gruff Welsh accent.

I can’t help feeling relived that the scene is finally over. The big kiss scene. The scene where my character, the protagonist and heartthrob of the movie, makes up with his girlfriend just before the credits roll and kisses her passionately. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind kissing, but I get uncomfortable where there’s, like, a million people watching me do it. I had to request that some crew members leave the room, which was just embarrassing. Now at least it’s finally over.

Personally, I think the whole premise of the movie is baloney. Hot guy in his early twenties takes the wrong bus by accident and meets a bunch of high school kids who live on the actual bus. It makes no sense to me. Like who would choose to live on a bus? My character, Danny Cards, helps the kids, making it his mission to find them each a home. Then his practical girlfriend Koreen tries to shut down his operation and put the kids in jail. Again, it makes no sense. The girlfriend is painted as a villain, but I completely agree with her. If I found out a bunch of kids were living on a bus, I would call the cops and end the whole thing before I got roped into their gang. At least Koreen and Danny make up at the end of the movie, hence the kissing scene.

From what I can tell, Mila, who plays Koreen in the film, is a nice girl. I’d love to get to know her more, but other than our time in the lunch line on Seafood Wednesdays (we both love crab cakes), we don’t talk much. She’s gravitated towards the younger actors on set, who play the “bus kids” my character Danny takes under his wing. Meanwhile, I, a professional and well-known actor in Hollywood, Bollywood, and the United Kingdom, am more of a lone wolf.

Getting cast as Danny in a drama film set in the 80s was a dream come true, but lately I’ve been having trouble getting into character. Danny is friendly, charismatic, and wise, all traits the judges on America’s Got Talent told me I lack. I prefer to be bossy, proud, and self-loving. Some people call me narcissistic, but I don’t let their mean words have power over me. After all, I’m a millionaire. Well, almost. When this film finally comes out in theatres, my bank account should get up to one million.

“Danger, you want a drink?” Mila calls from over by the minifridge. I relish in hearing my new name out loud. Just a month ago I made the switch from Craig Smelltington to Danger Santiago. There’s no way I am going to be as famous as Tom Cruise with a name like Craig Smelltington.

“I’m coming,” I say as I step over boxes and cables to make it to the minifridge sitting behind Digby’s director chair. “Digby!” I shout to the old man, who is talking to the four crew members still left in the room. “You should really get your people to clean up around here. These wires are a serious tripping hazard.” I shake my head.

Mila frowns as I come over and pull a soda out of the fridge. “You know those wires are there for a reason, right? You should treat the crew members with more respect. This is your first big role in a movie. You act like some bigshot, but you’re not. You haven’t made it big yet. If you don’t want to lose your one chance of becoming a star, I suggest you be a little kinder.”

“Yeah, yeah.” I’ve heard that speech from Mila numerous times on set. It’s clear she doesn’t see the star quality in me, but I’m confident she will. Everyone will. Once this movie comes out, I’ll be all over the internet. Everyone will know the name Danger Santiago.

I’m just about to pop open the little metal tab on my soda can when a series of loud noises interrupt me. First there’s a loud bang. All seven people in the soundstage stop what they are doing. Then a gunshot, loud and clear. Someone screams.

“What now?” I mutter, pretending to be mildly annoyed, but my heart is thumping.

The door to the soundstage bursts open and three people barge in. They all hold guns. They all wear black jackets and ski masks.

My heart rate skyrockets. I immediately drop into a crouch and raise my hands into the air. “Don’t shoot! I’m a celebrity!”

“We’re not going to shoot you,” one of the gunmen says. A curl of blond hair sticks out of the bottom of his ski mask. He shuts the door of the stage behind him. One of his friends stays there, blocking the only way out. Curly stalks forward, the third person in black following behind him.

“What’s going on? What do you three want? There’s a movie being filmed here,” Digby says, walking straight up to Curly.

I whimper, turning away so I don’t see the old director get shot to death.

The shot never comes.

“That’s precisely why we’re here. We’re going to star in your little drama film. We’re actors,” Curly announces.

I slowly stand up. My knees are too weak to crouch for that long. I should invest in a tendon support brace.

I glance at Mila, whose face is completely white. “Do you know what’s going on here?”

“No,” she whispers back to me. “But I don’t like the look of those guns.”

“It’s simple,” Curly shouts to everybody in the soundstage. “You people film some scenes starring me and my friends, then we’ll leave. We won’t shoot anybody if you all cooperate. We just want a chance at fame. We want to star in your movie.”

“Hold on.” Suddenly I’m feeling bold. Acting is my passion. I’ve worked hard to get to where I am today. No way am I letting three criminals with guns star in my movie. I walk forward to meet Curly, then take a step back. He’s still the one with the gun. “My name is Danger Santiago. And I—”

“Danger, huh? So that’s why you’re so brazen. What are you going to do, Danger? Fight me?” Curly wiggles his gun in front of my face tauntingly.

I swallow and take a few more steps back. Acting is my one talent. I’m not a karate fighter or CIA agent. I can’t take these guys down.

Curly smiles through his mask. “Glad you understand who’s in charge. Now…” He looks around the room. Because of my request to do the kiss scene in private, there are only seven people in the soundstage, including me, Mila, and Digby. “Me and my friends just want some exposure. We’ve wanted to be actors for a long time, but unfortunately, nobody has given us the opportunity to shine. We decided to create an opportunity for ourselves. I heard this movie is about some heroic guy who saves some poor kids. Is that true? Who plays the hero?”

Mila steps forward without hesitation. “Danger does. Danger plays Danny Cards, the main character.”

“Wow, thanks,” I mutter over my shoulder at her.

Curly approaches me. “You? You’re the hero? Other than a classy name and a leather jacket, I don’t see what’s so interesting about you. You’re not brave at all. You’re a coward.”

“I am not a coward,” I say quietly. I don’t like when people confront me like this. I prefer to attack using social media. Then I can plan what I want to say beforehand. “I’m a celebrity, okay? I’m famous and rich. I got cast as Danny because I’m a good actor.”

“No,” Digby says from across the room. “You got cast as Danny because you said you could do all your own stunts. You also said you could sing. By the time I figured out you couldn’t do either of those things, it was too late.”

“What are you talking about?” I fan myself, feeling hot. This whole situation is hurting my head.

“Tons of actors auditioned for Danny, but you were the only one willing to do your own stunts. So I gave you the role.” Digby shrugged. “Turns out your resume was a bit fudged.”

“Wait. No. That’s not true. I may have fibbed a bit on a piece of paper, but when it comes down to it, you gave me the role because I’m a good actor.”

“You’re actually not that great at acting.” Digby shrugs.

I can’t believe the old man had the nerve to insult me like that. I’m an amazing actor, I know it. I’ve been cast in over twenty films. Some of them were made by middle school students, sure, but I was paid for each one. My resume is four pages long. Not everything in it is exactly true, but there are lots of fancy words in it, and that has to count for something. I live in LA, like all famous actors. I’m going to be as big as Samuel L. Jackson one day. It’s been my dream ever since I was a toddler. Instead of saying all that, I glare at Digby.

“Do I sense drama on set?” Curly says playfully. “What fun! But there’s no time for this nonsense. We’re only here for a few hours. Danger, sorry bud, but you’re not Danny anymore. I am. Josie will play the girlfriend character. And Harold will guard the door. Anyone who goes on their phone will get shot. Everyone better cooperate and do what their told.”

“You can’t just cast yourself in my movie!” Digby cries, his Welsh accent more prominent in his anger. “And there’s no way you’re filming the entire movie in one day. If you’re only in one scene, everyone’s going to notice the actor for Danny switched. We can’t have that. It will mess up all my hard work. Are you really this desperate to be on TV?”

“I’m a star. I know I am. Nobody gave me a proper chance, so I’m giving myself one. I don’t care if your movie is ruined. It’s my turn to be in the spotlight.” Curly walks up to Digby, pointing the gun straight at his chest. “Now, what scene were you just filming?”

Digby stares at the gun and gulps. “Uh, a kissing scene. Between Danny and Koreen.”

“Excellent. That’ll work perfectly. Josie and I will have our big moment.”

“Do you even hear yourself speaking?” I pipe up. I’m getting tired of Curly’s entitlement. He’s acting like he owns the place. “You’re not a star. You’re a random guy in a ski mask who’s so desperate to be in a movie he’s willing to shoot an old man.”

“Not a star? I think I am. What defines a star anyway? You say you’re a star, but your director just admitted you’re a bad actor. I’ve never seen your face before. It looks to me you’re not famous or rich at all. You and I are very similar. We both want our shot. We both want a little bit of screentime,” Curly says, facing me.

“That’s not true! I’m not a criminal. I don’t have a gun.” I don’t like the things Curly is saying. He’s not making any sense.

“Forget the guns. We both want the same thing. Fame. You’re willing to lie on a resume to get what you want. I’m willing to shoot a few people.” Curly shrugs casually. “Look, me and Josie will star in this kissing scene, and you can still be in the rest of the movie. We both get what we want.”

I don’t know what to say. I’m appalled that I’m even talking to a guy with a gun, much less being compared to him. But I can’t help thinking he’s right. I lied to get this job. Although that’s not as bad as killing people, it’s still wrong.

“Alright, now that we’ve cleared that up, who here can handle a camera? We need to set this up right.” Curly goes over to one of the crew members and points the gun at her.

“Psst. Danger,” Mila whispers from behind me.

I turn to face her. “What?” I’m annoyed and confused and very sweaty. I don’t like it.

Mila sneaks something out of her pocket. Her phone. “I’m calling the cops,” she whispers.

“Don’t. You’ll get shot!” I can’t believe she would risk her life like that.

“I don’t know about you, but I want to get out of here. And I want these criminals arrested. I know it’s hard for you to understand, but I’m putting the lives of others above my own. I’m calling 911. I don’t care if I get shot. I’m ending this.”

I step away from her. I don’t want to be near her when Curly sees her with her phone and shoots.

I decide to sit on the cold floor. I realize the soda from earlier is lying on the ground next to me. I pick it up and pop it open before taking a large gulp of the liquid. I watch as Curly directs the crew members around. They set up a camera and several lights. Seeing all that manual labour just makes me sweat even more. I take another sip of my drink, trying to relax my heartrate. At least Curly doesn’t seem too serious about shooting someone.

Wee-ooo! Wee-ooo!

I almost spill my drink at the sound of sirens outside the building. Mila must have called the police. I stand up.

Curly immediately hefts up his gun. “Who called them?” he shouts.

My naturally mischievous and handsome face must have caught his eye, because he stomps over to me. “I didn’t do it,” I protest, desperate. I don’t want to get shot for Mila’s actions. I glare over at her to show her I’m upset.

Bad move. Curly sees me make eye contact with Mila and walks up to her. He grabs her arm and starts to drag her towards the door. He points his gun right at her heart. “I’ll shoot you for this,” he hisses. Mila closes her eyes in fear.

I grimace, feeling like this is slightly my fault. Digby watches as Mila gets hauled away, his expression pained. The crew members seem frozen in place. Everyone is scared out of their minds.

Faster than I can blink my long-lashed eyes, a whole team of police burst through the door of the soundstage, startling Harold, the guard. They immediately swarm all three criminals, stripping them of their guns. In about five seconds, they are disarmed and in cuffs.

An officer guides Mila outside to talk with her. Other police inspect the soundstage and start questioning Digby, who recounts the story.

A crew member passes me on the way out the door. I’m still standing there in shock.

“You could have gotten Mila killed. You really are just like those criminals,” the person says. I don’t even know them, and they’re criticizing me. How rude.

I watch them walk away. How could I be similar to actual criminals? Curly was threatening, ruthless, and full of himself.

Oh.

I see.

Maybe I am like Curly. Just a tiny bit.

Everyone always says I’m egotistical. I always thought that meant I just loved myself a little too much, but perhaps those people are right. Maybe I’m too interested in myself. I was thinking about myself that whole time. I wasn’t even worried about Mila or Digby’s safety.

I’ve always wanted to be a star, but maybe acting entitled and lying on resumes isn’t the way to get the fame I want. Curly was so obsessed with fame he broke into a soundstage and held seven people at gunpoint. I shudder, still wrapping my head around the recent incident. I don’t want to be like Curly. I don’t want to be obsessed.

Suddenly I feel ashamed. For years I’ve acted horrible to other people because I thought I was better than them. I’m just as bad as a criminal offender. I don’t want to be like that anymore. I can’t be like Curly. He was a total jerk to me.

I guess it took being held at gunpoint to realize I need to be a better person.