Secret's Aren't For The Keeping

“Can you keep a secret?”

Alea Newman barely kept back a scoff at the question. Could she keep a secret? Everyone else seemed to think she could. Which was why she knew more secrets than all the people in town. She did not know when it had happened. But sometime in her life, she had become the unofficial secretkeeper for those around her.

One day, she was trading secrets with her friends and the next, everyone —both young and old— had begun tell her their secrets. At first, she had enjoyed hearing secrets from people. She had felt important. She felt needed. Something, she had never felt until that moment.

Before she had become the secretkeeper, she had just been a shy girl just getting through her schoolwork. She never talked much, even after that moment, but maybe that was what had given her this position. Talking had never been her strong suit, so she rarely talked. She sometimes went days without talking and it was perfectly normal for her. Sometimes, she even wondered how she even had a few friends.

But that’s besides the point. Back to why she had become the secretkeeper. It had on a sleepover that she had heard her first secret. After they had done karaoke, her best friend Morgan had pulled her aside and told her something.

“Promise to won’t tell anyone this. Promise with a triple scoop of ice cream with hot fudge and a cherry on top.”

Alea had nodded and repeated solemnly, “I promise, with triple scoop of ice cream with hot fudge and a cherry on top.”

Morgan had nodded and then took a breath. “I stole two hundred dollars from my mother’s purse to buy the shoes I wanted, and lied and said someone gave them to me. When she found out about the money, I told her that a thief came and stole her money.”

Alea had stared at her friend in horrored shock. “But why? Why would you steal from your mother?”

Morgan, she remembered, had grabbed her hand and gripped it tightly. “You cannot tell. You promised, and you would not want to break a promise, would you?”

Alea had shaken her head, guilt swarming in her heart. “I won’t tell.”

“Good. Now, let’s go take inside. My mom baked some cookies.”

That had been the first secret, but it had been far from the last. How other people knew that she could keep secrets was still a mystery to her, but somehow they had know. The next day, when she had arrived at school she had been surprised when two people came up to her with secrets. The first one had been a boy named Todd. He had told her that he had a crush on Morgan and had made her promise not to tell. Every time Alea had seen Morgan after that, she had wanted to tell her, especially when her best friend asked her if she knew. But she had told her that she could not say.

The other secret, surprisingly had come from the popular girl, Rosy. Alea had been surprised more by being addressed by the popular girl in school than the secret itself. The fact that her parent’s business was losing money and that they were moving out of their big house for something cheaper. Eventually that secret had gotten out, not by Alea of course, but she had been proud to be the first to know.

After that, secret after secret was told to her. She knew that the neighbor’s son from down the street had gotten arrested. She knew that Lynwoods could barely pay their rent on their apartment. She knew that the ice cream shop was going out of business because of the lack of proper sanitation. She even knew secrets from her family members that other ones didn’t even know.

In fact, she knew so much about every person in her town that she could have blackmailed them all in some way. Not that she would, just that she could. With each secret that she was told, her mind become more jumbled from all the knowledge. The secrets begged to be released, but she could not break her promises. So, for years she had been living with the secrets that could turn families against each other, anger others, and break hearts. And the guilt. The guilt she felt was more than she could bare at times. Guilt for the things she knew. But what could she do. She was trapped. Trapped in the secrets.

She tried to forget them. But everytime she exchanged greeting with her neighbors or crossed the street with someone she knew, she was reminded by the secrets they had told her and the secrets that could affect them.

With every secret, she grew more weary of it all. But the secrets others told her weren’t even that bad in comparison to her own. Secrets so horrible that she could not even think them without the ever present rush of guilt flooding in.

She ushered the thoughts into the deep recesses of her mind and turned back to the person who had asked the question. Can you keep a secret? The question wasn’t could she keep a secret. The hundreds of secrets swirling around in her brain were testimony to the fact that she could, in fact, keep several secrets. No, her ability to keep a secret was not in question. The true question was should she keep another secret.

What was truly one more secret with the lot of them. But, what if this particular secret was worse than the others. Would if they told her that they had murdered someone or committed a bigger crime than stealing two hundred bucks from one’s mother’s purse. Would she want to keep a secret of that kind? No, but…

That day at her friend’s sleepover all those years ago, she had become a keeper of secrets. She had promised to guard them and she would. Perhaps, by keep everyone’s secrets she was protecting them from the overwhelming guilt or pain that came with them.

She looked at the person waiting for her response.

The person quirked a brow. “So, can you keep a secret or not?”

Alea took a deep breath and nodded. “Yes, that’s what secret keepers do, isn’t it?”