Submitted into Contest #76 in response to: Write a story told exclusively through dialogue.... view prompt


Crime Horror Suspense

This was kinda hard of a topic so I pulled an idea straight off my head into my fingers. It is kinda short so sorry about that. Anyways, I hope you enjoy the story and please like it if you did, it will mean so much to me :). Also, follow me if you want to read more stories like this. Do check out my other stories too. (◐‿◑)Thanks and ENJOY! :3)

The midnight darkness yielded two figures stalking through the grass. Pulling out knives, they realised each other and slowly tucked their blades away. Walking closer to each other, they started their conversation. “I thought you were a cop for a minute,” remarked the tall lanky one, his long robes whistling in the wind. He stared intently at the man opposing him, who had a foul black scar across his face. “Aye, mate, with my victim giving me a huge ugly slash across my face, I ain’t gonna be in public for long. You know, I’m a dead giveaway for the murderer of the Kindle family,” he hissed, pointing to that revolting, detestable, abhorrent scar. It bulged, with a gross, purple frame and a dark, murky brown interior that looked like chocolate. However, instead of a nice dark shade that chocolate possessed, this particular brown was yellowish, like mud. “H-how did you get that scar, Snikel?” the tall one’s question burst out of him. It was rude and extremely nosy, but the other man undeniably called Snikel and puffed out his chest, trying to make himself look important. “That Mr Kindle. I kicked him to the ground after I stabbed him in the hand, but before I could shoot him, he grabbed my knife and… well, I still shot him. Now it has this goddamn scar from my nose to my chin.”     he grunted, fingering his wound. The two men awkwardly stood side by side until the tall lanky one called Ponto decided to break the ice of the deafening silence. “Jesus Christ, mate… won’t it hurt? That helluva scar must have been tough to receive. What did it feel like?” he queried childishly, trying not to stare at the now pulsing scar. “Aye, the pain of it all. My face was on fire, my bones felt like they were snapping into millions of tiny shards. That, my friend, was the agony of it all.” breathed Snikel, grinning at the awed look on his companion’s face. As Ponto stared at the scar, it seemed to make Snikel look less evil… As a souvenir of his kills, it seemed to make Snikel look like some sort of injured warrior from a war. He was a hero in Ponto’s eyes. Snikel swept his cloak around dramatically like a bat sweeping its wings around and gestured to his friend to follow him. “Come,” he said, waving one long, wasted, withered finger. Ponto followed eagerly and soon found himself in a room, bare of furniture and naked of wallpaper. There was only one door, which his beloved mentor was locking up with a silver key glinting like his knife at the scabbard by his belt. After he finished, Ponto sat on the floor where the scarred sinner followed. “Now tell me, dear men, what crimes have you done? Which deeds have you done in the name of death?” snarled Snikel, breathing heavily all of a sudden. “Uhhh… I’ve killed the McDavies and - “ Ponto was abruptly cut short when Snikel stood up, looking quite enraged. “WHAT IN THE WORLD? You picked easy targets! Have you learnt anything in the last two days I met you? Pick hard targets! Spah” he spat on the floor. “Pick any family to kill! You took the family of beggars!” roared the scarred sinner, unsheathing his gleaming silver knife. The weapon seemed to glow evilly in the moonlight, reflecting bright beams of moonlight off it’s polished blade. As sharp as a dragon’s tooth, the knife had been the cursed blade which had reaped many victims’ souls. Ponto wondered who would be it’s next unsuspecting victim… Ponto had no desire to become human Swiss Cheese so he immediately tried to get on Snikel’s good side. “It was a distraction, sir, just to distract the public so then everyone would be occupied while I killed the richer families.” Ponto explained, desperate not to become another victim of the short knife in his colleague’s hands. Snikel seemed to ponder this, then collapsed back on the ground. “Alright, but it better be.” He glowered. “Tomorrow, let’s work together to kill the Jillestain family!” Ponto babbled like a fool. Snikel smirked evilly and his scar made his face look even more twisted and evil than usual. “My dear man, you cannot leave. I cannot have you chattering my total crime secrets to the world.” mumbled Snikel, a wicked smile reaching across his face to each of his ears. “You know too much for your own good, my companion. One false move with your mouth and I will be gone. I have worked tirelessly for tens of years and you shall not ruin my reputation.” He growled. “Sir… I promise… not a single soul will know about this encounter! Please, sir… I have a wife and a family…” Ponto gulped in desperation, wringing his shaking hands in agitation. Was that twisted scarred old looney going to kill him? Snikel  pulled out his knife. Yes, to answer his questi9n. Ponto unsheathed his dagger, and yelled. “I won’t let you kill me, Snikel!” Snikel was as fast as a viper, dodging and parrying. The fight was going great until the killer stabbed Ponto in the gut as fast as an arc of lightning in a stormy sky. Ponto’s eyes dilated in pain and fear, while his mouth gaped open and closed, mouthing words of help and pain that no one could hear. The murderer whispered. “Your family will die after you.” Snikel spat in the dust again, leaving his loyal follower writhing in the dust to die

January 15, 2021 00:42

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Crystal Russell
10:32 Jan 22, 2021

The suspense is very nice!


Aiden Chu
00:05 Jan 23, 2021

Thanks, Crystal!


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