Flim Flam

Flim Flam

“You are telling me you don’t even own a gun. You’ve never even shot a gun. You are afraid of guns, and yet when we tested your hands for residue, we found evidence of gun powder. Please explain.”

I like to go over the evidence before trial, especially one I’m supposed to testify in. I find playing both roles gives me a perspective that helps once I get up there before the defendants shyster lawyers.

Of course he’s guilty. Science does not lie. Anything short of having a picture of someone else holding the gun, standing over the body, would perhaps question his guilt. Sure the evidence is circumstantial, but we’ve put away a lot of people with less. I’m not saying we shouldn’t remain true to the idea that everyone is innocent until proven guilty, but when did we start down that road, and is it relevant in this time of crookedism.   Even the most blatant of criminals feel compelled to go through the charade of pleading innocent, even when they get caught, and are convicted on the six O’clock news. 

Hellscamp has a record as long as your arm. OK, an overused example of assumed guilt, but it has proven to be more or less the bread crumbs of every case. Now, just because Hellscamp is a well to do person, who happens to be well connected, doesn’t mean I’m going to sweep this thing under the rug to placate some fat cat. Sure his rap sheet is mainly parking tickets and moving violations, but for all we know he’s a bad driver. For all we know he drinks and drives. 

I was on a case just last week where this guy claimed to be an alcoholic. He was going to use his supposed disease to get his vehicular homicide charge reduced because of his impediment. Turns out he’s not an alcoholic, he just likes to drink. We got his ex-wives and several of his current girl friends under the lights and they began to squeal like rats in a trap.

“But isn’t it possible you are wrong? You have been wrong in the past haven’t you. I remember the Lincoln indictment. It was thrown out because someone, you, forgot to place the evidence in question under the auspices of command, and the case was dismissed. So how can you be so sure this, Hellscamp, who you claim is a fraud and cheat just because he is a mortician by trade, and had once been a realtor, is guilty.  Someone’s past doesn’t prove, or disprove, his innocence or guilt.”

Sure I’ve made a few mistakes. But have you considered the pressure placed on us particularly during this time of protests and vandalism. We are under siege. I just look at someone who looks like they are up to no good, and the next think you know I’m down at the Captains office having to review the public policies on engagement with civilians., their civil rights.  It’s nonsense.

This Hellscamp guy is guilty. I can see it in his eyes, smell it on his clothes. He’s one of those guys who’s always gotten away with stuff. Someone always pays his bill, cuts him slack. Well not this time. It’s time he learned a lesson, and I intend to be the one to teach it to him. 

"Tell me this. How does someone who never fired a gun, get gun powder residue on his hands and clothing."

 I’m sure between him and his high-priced lawyer he’ll come up with a great story. Don’t mean it’s true. Once these guys start to lie, they have to keep lying. After a while they lie so much, they actually get good at it. I’ve seen guys take lie detector tests after they’ve been convicted, and it proves they didn’t do it. That’s how good these guys are. This one guy claimed his buddy committed suicide, shot himself twice in the back of the head. He passed the detector test and we had him on a surveillance camera shooting the guy. Jury let him go.  That’s how good these guys are at convincing themselves and others, that they are innocent.

“What about convicting the wrong guy for the right reasons. Isn’t it better to let one guilty guy go free, than incarcerate an innocent one?”

That is just more of that liberal nonsense. Everyone is guilty of something. They just don’t all get caught is all. It works out. When people are in that situation where they are being looked at for something, you can bet they were involved in something as equally bad in the past. Karma steps up from time to time, and rights a wrong, even when it ain’t always entirely provable.

#

“Hey McMichael, you going to be in there all day. We got a trial going on here and you’re up next. Get a move on it.”

I like to rehearse before I get on the stand. Those lawyers have a way of turning the truth into lies, and lies into truths. And when all is said and done, you are the bad guy. Now I know this guy is guilty. If not for this, then something else. I’ve yet to meet a straight up mortician or realtor in my four years on the force that aint guilty of something. These guys in their fancy cars and suits thinking they can do what they want and get away with it. Well, I’m going to help put a stop to it.

“McMichael, get out here. The Captain wants to talk to you before you go up there. He says he’s got something you need to know, see. Get out here, and quick.”

He shoves me the pictures from the scene under the door. Guy dead on the sidewalk, this mortician guy kneeling beside him like he’s trying to beat the living B-Jesus out of him.  Pounding on his chest, blowing into his mouth. A gay mortician, it had never even crossed my mind. Or maybe one of the necro types I hear tell about. Here’s the proof. This guy is there, guilty, right in the picture pounding on the guy like he’s got to kill him twice, for it to count. Some people!

“McMichael, you commin out, or am I going to have to come in there and get you.”

I know what he’s going to say before he says it. Same nonsense he always says before I go in the box. “Just answer what is asked. Don’t adlib, don’t expound, don’t give them anymore than they ask for. Cause if you do, they will make you look like the idiot you are.”

I wish I had a vacation day for every time I’ve heard that speech. Just give them what they want, the guy walks. Sure maybe he didn’t do this one thing, but I’d bet he has a closet full of memories about other things, just like this. He’s laughing at us, and I’ve had it.

#

“The court calls officer McMichael.”

“Judge, officer McMichael has taken ill. Do to new evidence provided us by council, we consent to the dismissal of charges. We think we know the guy who might really have done the shooting by accident.”

“Find McMichael