I Shall Be a Duchess

With a tear in my eye I look back at the estate wondering how my dear father could have let this happen. I shall miss him and this place I have loved so. I am no longer to be a lady of the ton. I shall never again dance a waltz at Almacks. I shall never be a Duchess or Marchioness. I am to be a spinster governess the remainder of my days. A flood of tears pour from my eyes, wretched sobs escape my lips as the carriage passes through the gate.

My despair of losing my beloved father was more than I could bear or so I had thought, but not it has surpassed even that. Now I have truly lost all. I have no belongings to my name other than my clothing. I was only allowed to pack my day dresses, sleeping gowns and undergarments. I suppose I will have no use for ball gowns in my future. Parting with my jewelry was not difficult for me except for my mothers wedding ring. My father had given it to me after her passing. I had cherished it so. It seems as though I now have no past nor a Zno real future.

Why had my father allowed my loathsome cousin to inherit his title? Granted Garrett is my only living relative, but surely one is aloud to pass the title to someone outside ones own family. Did my father not know of Lord Belmont's character? Did he not know that he is a rake of the highest order? Had he not heard all the rumors circulating through the ton? No, surely he did not. Father must have believed Garrett, Lord Belmont, as Garrett insisted I call him the last few years, would love and care for me till I wed.

This thought lifted me somewhat from my sullen mood. I must be strong. I must be brave. I must carry my head held high with dignity, for I am the daughter of a Duke. A Duke who was the most loving wonderful father a daughter could ask for. I must be thankful I was allowed to live on the estate for my year of mourning. I must be thankful Garrett procured my employment rather than toss me upon the streets of London. Feeling quite tired I allow myself to drift into a restless slumber.

I am awoken by the quick turn of the carriage. I peer from the window to see a magnificent gothic manor house sitting in a beautifully landscaped lawn. There are several steep roof lines and castle like embellishments. As we draw nearer I count 10 gargoyles. The manor must be at least three centuries old. Thoughts of ghost stories I had heard in my youth entered my mind as chills run down my spine. I chastise myself for becoming fearful. It is evident the manor was well cared for. It could not possibly be a place a ghost would haunt. What a thought. Surely ghost are not real.

As we reach the door the butler exits and approaches the driver. I hear him explaining where the servants entrance is. I affirm to myself that I must not let this upset me. If I am to be a servant I shall serve with dignity, not with tears. When we reach the servants door a foot man helps me from the carriage. At least I am to still be treated as a Lady while exiting a carraige.

I enter into a kitchen with the staff busy preparing dinner. I had not realized we traveled all day nor how hungry I am as I had not eaten since I broke my fast this morning. A women with greying hair, a rounded middle and a bright smile greets me. "You must be Elizabeth. It's a pleasure to meet you. We're glad you're here. Young master Daniel has been in need of a governess for a while now. Deary me, excuse my manners, I'm Mrs. McConnell the head housekeeper. Let me be showing you to your room so you can freshen up after your travels. We be having dinner at half past."

My room is pleasantly decorated, however only one quarter the size of that at the estate. I go over to gaze out the window to see what I shall have to view upon. My eyes sweep over the gorgeous gardens when I spot a gentleman. He his sitting on a bench in front of an angel fountain. His head with a mop of wavy brown hair is resting in his hands. I note his broad shoulders leading to one of his arm in a sling. His long legs stretched out before him. At that moment he looks up at my window. I jump back for fear he catch me staring. Making my way over to the looking glass and wash basin to freshen up, I find I am glad I did not meet the Duke upon my arrival. My eyes are red and swollen. Several hairs have escaped my chignon. I make myself as presentable as I can without the help of my ladies maid. I do my best by splashing the cool water on my face and pinning my hair back in place.

I make my way down the beautiful curved staircase to the white marble floored entry way. To my left is a lovely parlor. My eyes immediately notice the pianoforte. Perhaps I'll be allowed to play. Perhaps there is a daughter I shall be able to teach. To my right is a library with floor to ceiling shelves filled with books. This brings a smile to my face. How I loved spending evenings reading at Birmingham estate. I shall do the same here. I wonder around till I find the dining room. As I enter a deep voice states, "The servants dine in the kitchen." I turn to leave, "On second thought, dining with us will give you an excellent opportunity to teach the children proper dinner etiquette." At that the Duke, who I realize is the same gentleman from the garden, picks up a bell and rings it. When one of the kitchen staff arrive he instructs them to bring another plate and informs them I will be having my dinners with the family. While this is occurring I take in his features, eyes the color of the sky on a clear summers afternoon, a straight regal nose and a strong angular jaw. He is quite handsome despite the rather large bump on his brow and bruising on his left cheek.

"Miss Jones may I present my children, Lord Daniel the sixth, Lady Ava and Lady Lydia. This causes the children to giggle. I should not be shocked that Garrett had given me a false last name. The Duke never would have hired me should he have heard my true name prior while in society. He must be telling the ton he married me off to someone.

As we start begin to dine, Daniel picks up his entire piece of chicken with his fork. Ava with her fingers lifts hers to her mouth and Lydia just stairs at her food. I show Daniel how to properly hold his silver ware and cut off one piece at a time. I show Ava as well, though she cannot do it. I cut hers for her, show her the proper way to hold her fork and she begins to dine. Lydia being only two, I cut hers as well and allow her to eat with her fingers. When Daniel starts talking about his bowel habits, I realize there is much more to teach of proper dinner etiquette than the use of silver ware.

My days are filled with lesson plans for Daniel and Ava while Lydia remains with the nurse. I walk though the lovely gardens as they nap. The afternoon is spent playing with all three delightful children, incorporating lessons as we play just as my governess had done with me. My morning meal and luncheons are spent with the other servants who are quickly becoming my friends. It causes me to realize the servants at the estate were more than servants. They were family. I miss them terribly. Dinners spent with the family would be quite affairs if not for Ava. She loves to tell her father of every second of her day though his only replies are "uh huh". Daniel is learning proper dinner conversation though he speaks little and Lydia is starting to use her fork. I find myself falling in love with my charges. Perhaps being a governess will be a wonderful life.

I am awaken to shouts every three or four nights, always the same. "Marybeth wait please please do not run away." Mrs McConnell tells me his Grace has been having these nightmares for the past five months. He has also fallen down the steps several times after having been awoken from one. She also has stated he has become accident prone due to lack of sleep, often coming in from the gardens with torn trousers, scrapes on his knees and elbows. I find it curios, his wife passed during childbirth two and a half years ago. Why would these nightmares begin so long after?

It is a beautiful sunny early afternoon as I take my stroll through the gardens. I come upon his Grace in the same spot, his posture in the same position I spotted him in through my window the day of my arrival. I turn to walk in a different direction when I hear his sobs. I turn back. "Your Grace, should you ever feel the need to talk, I am available." I am quite surprised to hear his "yes". I take a seat on the other end of the bench.

"You must promise to keep what I am about to say to yourself. It must not get out but I feel as though I must confide in someone. What has been happening has caused me to grow distant from my children. I no longer socialize with my friends. I am not one to talk of my feelings." He pauses for a few seconds and with a deep breath begins again. "I had tried once with my brother. I mentioned how I longed to see my Marybeth, to hold her in my arms just one more time. He laughed. He has not been the kindest of brother. He has always resented not being first born. However now I feel as though I am losing my mind because now....". After another long pause he begins again in what is almost a whisper, "Now I am seeing her again. I do not wake from nightmares calling out for Marybeth. I see her. I see her in my bed chambers as well as the gardens, but she always runs off. I know she is no longer among the living, but I see her just the same. I am either seeing a ghost or I am going insane. Should my brother discover this he will surely have me committed. He will then be the Duke he has longed to be."

I take a minute to gather my thoughts. "You have my word that this shall remain between the two of us. Ghost are not real and you appear to be perfectly sane. Surely there is another explanation. We must formulate a plan to deal with this. Let me think on this. Can we meet again here tomorrow afternoon and discuss this further?" He nods his head in affirmation.

As I am returning to the manor, with thoughts of ghost in my head, it occurs to me how it would be the talk of the ton if they knew Lady Elizabeth Belmont was meeting with a gentleman unchaperoned. They would have much to talk of regarding me. The fact that I am a servant. Another thought occurs to me. Garrett would be disgraced if what he had done to me were to come to light. I smile at this.

The next afternoon we meet in the gardens as planned. "I am quite sure that ghost are not real. However if they are, they can pass through doors and walls, yes?" He nods. "Might I suggest you lock your door from the inside. If this is truly the ghost of your beloved wife she will be able to pass through the door and therefore you cannot be insane. I wonder however from what I have been told, your wife was deeply in love with you, why ever would she run from you?"

"I do not know. I have asked myself that question over and over again. I will do as you suggest, for I can not go on like this. After locking the door I shall also make sure she is not already in the room." The conversation flows effortlessly into other subjects. It appears we share the same love for reading. Our taste in music and theatre was also alike. He explains how he dearly loves his children but fears with his high level of anxiety he will easily snap at them. He tells me of how the manor had once again become a home filled with laughter after his year of mourning. Speaking of his year of mourning makes me think of mine. I long to tell him of my past. He had shared his secret. Should I dare do the same?

Over the course of the next ten days we meet in the garden while the children nap sharing pleasant conversation. Not once had Marybeth ghost made an appearance in his bed chambers. However she still makes appearances in the gardens when he is alone.

"Perhaps ghost simply can not pass through doors and walls as they do in stories." He states.

"Perhaps now is the time to leave your chamber doors unlocked but not enter the gardens alone. Have one of the children with you. I know they would love to spend some time with you."

"My nerves are still as such I am not ready to do so. I know we meet here while the children nap, but might you be willing to join me for my other walks as well? It will not interfere with your duties as I take them before the morning meal and after dinner"

"I would love to join you." I answer trying to hide the excitement I feel at the thought of doing so.

Over the course of the next ten days Marybeth appears in his bed chambers four times. Not once has she made an appearance on our daily strolls. I realize while on these strolls that I am falling in love with the Duke. Not only is he handsome, he is compassionate, intelligent and has a witty sense of humor. I also notice that the way he looks at me seems to have changed. Dare I hope he is feeling the same. Though I fear he will never admit if he has such feelings. A Duke could never commit to anyone other than a Lady. Perhaps it is time I share my secret.

"Your Grace, I must believe due to the fact that Marybeth has not appeared while your chamber door was locked, nor has she appeared when you are accompanied in the gardens that this can not possibly be her ghost. It may be posdible she does not want to be seen by anyone else, but I have to conclude that this is a person."

"That is utterly absurd. Who would wish to....". He closes his eyes and looks up at the sky. "We must set a trap! We will catch this scoundrel."

For the next three nights servants wait in the shadows outside the Duke's chamber doors. I lie awake in bed unable to fall asleep until the wee hours of the mourning waiting to see if this shall be the night. I struggle through the lesson plans with the children trying to keep my eyes open. I pray it ends this evening. I excuse my self to my room after dinner, neither the Duke or myself wishing to take our stroll. I quickly fall asleep due to exhaustion.

I awaken to a quiet household. Deciding to also wait in the shadows to see what will unfold. I make it to the hall leading to the family suites when I see two figures climbing the stairs. One of them in a white flowing gown the other in dark clothing. I back further into the shadows. They make their way to the Duke's door. The one in the gown slowly entering while the other waits outside the door.

"Marybeth wait, please do not run away!" She runs from the room and enters another room. Just then his Grace runs out of the room as his foot man yells "I have him!"

Mrs. McConnell immediately enters the hall with with one hand holding onto the woman in the white gown the other hand holding a lantern. The foot man's arms are around the shoulders of a man who looks very similar to the Duke.

"Why Robert? You could do this to your own flesh and blood, your brother?"

"I should have been the Duke. Birth order should not matter. I am far superior. You should have died this night and I should have taken my rightful place."

Turning to his butler "Have my brother and his wife locked in one of the suites. We will send for the constable in the morning."

The next morning Robert's wife hoping for a lighter sentence gave a full confession. Including the fact that Robert planned to push the Duke down the stairs. If the fall did not result in death, the hammer in Robert's pocket would have been used.

After dinner the children accompanied by their nurse return to their rooms. "Will you again walk with me though there is to threat of ghosts?" The Duke asks.

"Of course your Grace."

" Elizabeth, may I call you Elizabeth? " Nodding my head he continues, "I find myself in love with you. I know that you are a commoner, but it simply does not matter. I pray you feel the same. Elizabeth will you do me the honor of becoming bride?

" Yes! However there is something I must confess." Before I can utter another word his lips crash against mine. The kiss is filled with passion causing me to become weak in the knees.

I tell him of my father being the Duke of Birmingham. Of the wonderful life I once lived before my evil cousin became the Duke.

"In that case I must take back my proposal!" As my frown forms and tears begin to fill my eyes he laughs. "Do not cry my love. I simply must rephrase it my dear. Lady Elizabeth will you do me the honor of becoming my bride?"

"Yes" I declare. My happiness overflowing. His lips once again descend upon my own. I shall be a Duchess after all. A very very happy Duchess at that.