enTWINed Fate

"May you rest in pieces you  jerk! "

I yelled as I gave my legendary Asian peace sign (the peace sign where your pointing finger remains down) and hanged up Skype and shut my laptop with such ferocity that even Thor would be proud.  

Okay, this was not the best line that I could have mustered from anger, but it was what it was. Tears waved down my eyes as Jack’s words and our conversation kept ringing in my ears and piercing into my very soul.  

“I am sorry Sarah, the real reason why I can’t be in a relationship with you is that, I am still technically married to Jessica. Although we are not in good terms, she is still my wife and we are working through a divorce.” 

Number 1, being divorced and going through a divorce are 2 different things.  

Number 2, going out on dates and looking for a potential relationship with someone when you’re still tied to someone is just plain selfish.  

I already knew what my friends, especially my mother, would say when I tell them of the news:  

Friend with funny eyebrows: Bloody hell! I thought you were going to have babies with him soon. You’re nearly 30, you have to find someone right away or you’ll end up having a Cesarean section. Have you thought of freezing your eggs?  

Pal with dodgy connections: I know of a friend who practices witch craft. You can request a revenge spell or a retrieve a lover back.  

The big sister of the group: How many times did I warn you that army guys could not be trusted? They have girl and boy friends in every port!  

Mommy: I knew I was right!  

With my mommy, I will never hear the end of it.  

I was a 20 something adventurous millennial who decided on a teaching stint and adventure in Thailand when I met Jack.  

His bronzed muscular body, strikingly rugged features, tantalising blue eyes and charming smile were not the main things why I easily fell in love. Though, admittedly these were bonuses.  

I came to know that he’s a US soldier with his buddies that are enjoying a vacation by touring South East Asia. He decided to stay in Thailand for 2 weeks before returning to his deployment in Iraq.  

Being with Jack, I saw that someone who made me feel that butterflies in the stomach can possibly exist. He was that one person who didn’t mind anchovies on pizza , having warm cuddles while being oblivious to the horror movie marathon being shown on T.V , brave to swat enough the fat cockroaches flying around the hostels when the rest would scream as if a murder was taking place.  

I envisioned that someone I would hold hands while walking around the beach, going on random adventures around Bangkok be it eating all the Som tum (papaya salad) with Pad Thai, (Stir-fry noodles), riding around town in a Tuktuk ( motorized street taxis), watching Thai boxing matches ,and dodging the crowd for me to buy coveted sale dresses at the famous Chatuchak Weekend market.  

The more I went out with Jack, the more I discovered our love for travel and adventures, dreams of owning a big house with our at least 4 children and big dogs happily running around, Belgian chocolate ice cream,love for Star Wars and our relatable Jedi jokes.  

However, at night whenever I went home to bed, my pillow bore witness to the tears that just didn’t want to go away, my mind attempting to numb my senses like a strong opium for pain from the trauma,  and my thoughts moving slowly like a silent film as if wanting to relieve the specific details that would have been the part where “they lived happily ever after…”. Not.  

I woke up 2 years and 4 months later, elated with the sunshine in my window both literally and metaphorically, as I greeted the day with glee over the victory of the past few months.  

A friend is getting married, I am moving to England in a few months, family has gotten over illnesses and challenges, and I have picked myself off the ground, dusted myself, and persevered in getting better in every aspect of my life. At this point, my mind has succeeded in erasing for the most part, the memory of a man who I consciously thought wasn’t even worthy to be named. 

As I saw my friend Jenny, the bride-to-be at a coffee shop to officially lay down her wedding plans, her thoughts wandered as to how I have championed, healed, and learned to open myself to love again.  

“I would love to see you happy and bringing someone as a date to my wedding, if that will be possible.” Jenny took a sip of her iced mocha with a smile.  

“Well, first things first, I have met a guy online and things seem to be pretty well.” I chimed. “We have been talking for about 5 months now.” 

Jenny’s eyebrows curled into a deep concave with concern. “Just be careful, you don’t know the types of dodgy characters. But who knows? Meeting that guy in real life might be your next great adventure!” 

I answered with the affection of a high school girl falling in love the first time ,“There are a lot of things I admire about him that self-respecting women look for in a man. One of the most interesting things I love about getting to know Matt is that he’s old school and loves to exchange letters and gifts through the mail. In Matt’s case, I mail him letters and care packages to his APO address as his job in the US Air force takes him to a lot of corners on the globe. “ 

That same night, my phone alerted me in the sweetest tune that Matt had messaged me.  

Matt: “I am going to be deployed soon, I want to keep in touch, and I think it’ll be easier through Skype. 

Me: “I agree, be safe always.” 

Matt: “I also want you to know that I really like you, and I have switched off my dating site account. See where it goes between us. “ 

The click of the keyboard buttons resonated with the excitement of my beating heart as I added his credentials on my list---

---Wait a minute! I thought.  

Skype is alerting me that I already have Matt on my list! How could that be? As the application started to update automatically, it also alerted me to the previous conversations we have had.  

My jaw dropped to the floor and adrenaline rushed into my system.  

Brrrrinnnngggg……brrrinnnngggg………….. 

Matt: “Hello, there you are. Just testing to see I got with me the right angel. “ 

Me: “How could you! Seriously, are you still going to play games?” 

Matt: “Uhmm, excuse me? Where’d that come from?” 

His expression borderline with confusion and that of a perpetrator of a crime caught in the middle of the act.  

Me: “This is enough Jack! No more  games, no more cheating on me, Jessica, other women or men or whoever! Has the army life finally cracked you in the head that you would do this to me now? 

Matt: “Okay, this is crazy. How do you know my sister-in-law and my £$%^ brother? By the way, I’m Matt the air force guy remember? 

The adrenaline was pumping violently in my veins that the blood rushing through my head obstructed my hearing in a sense.  

Me: “What did you just say to me?”  

Matt: “I said, why do you know Jess, my sister-in-law and my TWIN brother, Jack?” 

It took about a millennium, at least to me in my mind, before I could recover from the shock of what I have just discovered then and there.  

Me: How do I know that you’re not lying?  

I challenged.  

Matt sent me a photo. I opened it and there I saw the “twin brothers”.  

They are fraternal twins, they both share the same rugged features in a strong jawline, athletic built, blue eyes and irresistible charm. Matt was distinctively taller by a few inches, with dark brown hair, and an eagle tattoo on his shoulder as opposed to Jack’s dirty blonde hair and piercing on his left ear.  

I burst out in tears as I told Matt the entire truth as to my history with Jack --- meeting in Thailand, getting along, finding about the ongoing divorce etc… 

Matt: I don’t see the reason why we can’t get to know each other and be in a relationship? I am not Jack; You and I don’t have a history together.  

In my mind’s movie house, I saw me and Matt and our possibly-in-the-future family and my kids running towards uncle Jack.  

NO! I perished the thought as I cringed back to the moment’s reality.   

One question lingered in my mind. How and why did they share the same account?  

Matt: “Sarah, this is my Skype account. The last I was with my brother was 2 years ago in Nevada. He did use my computer at times.” 

Memories flashed; Jack was indeed in Nevada at the time the shattering news about the truth regarding his circumstances came into light for me.  

I tried my best to muster a few intelligent words as I wished Matt well on his upcoming deployment the very best, and that he stays safe as I hanged up on him.  

Instinctively, I ran to my mother and my younger sister to break to them the news of what has just happened.  

There was my mother, a middle-aged, wise and comforting woman who was suddenly left speechless as to how bizarre the situation was.  

My younger sister, chuckling as if she just heard a plot of a high school romance pocketbook, said “Sis, oh my gosh! I even wish my love life was half as exciting as yours!” 

As for my closest friends, reactions mixed into the perfect drama salad and conspiracy theories combined.  

What if Jack wanted to set me up all along with Matt to fish for information about me? 

Perhaps, in a past life, I have unfinished business or karma that I needed to deal with?  

Maybe, this is a sign that I need to do an intense vigil for the impossible regarding my love life?  

What if, life is just stranger than fiction and this event proves it?  

Then, what if our fates are enTWINed (pun intended) for a greater purpose?  What is the lesson in this story? Not to fall in love with your ex’s twin? Do a background or DNA check into every man I date to make sure none of them are remotely or even “twinly” related?  

For several days, messages kept coming through from Matt ranging from the typical “How are you? Everything okay?”, to the in-between “Please give me a chance, babe” and to the daring “If you don’t give me a chance, fine we’re your loss”.  

Cheeky! The adjective popped into my mind.  

I did not hear from either of them in a long time.  

Until now, so many questions linger in my mind as well as countless different scenarios play as how things could have ended up if I took a brave chance to meet Matt in person and wrote a different story.  

On a soul level, I sense that this is just a lesson in life I had to go through to know what it is to love someone, or two, in this case that I should never really have and to just let go of it all with dignity, grace, and a sense of humour.  Destiny has also painted a portrait on how romantic love and the twist and turns it brings can happen even in the seemingly most unusual, unimaginable, and impossible circumstances. 

Though the chances may be as slim as getting hit by lightning twice, perhaps one day, a movie writer or producer might come across this story as inspiration for the next big romantic comedy, drama, tragedy, or teen movie. At an angle, perhaps the story might be too far-fetched for reel life. Irrevocably, though, not in real life.