The Healing No Doctor Could Ever Grant

The Healing No Doctor Could Ever Grant

Once upon a time in a huge metropolis called Danville, Va. there lived a mad scientist named Dr. Octopus. That was actually his nickname which was given to him by every girl he dated because he couldn't keep his filthy claws off of them for very long. That was what made him be a, "mad" scientist in the first place. His favorite activity was inventing new things in his lab.. He loved that. In fact, he loved it so much he bought one for his house, that's a beautiful black, "lab," that is. He named him Snowball. That was because he wanted to come up with a different name for his pet, and he succeeded since there weren't too many black labs who had that name on the entire planet. At any rate, Dock Oc., which was the name he called himself, was quite learned about many things, but his downfall was that he had no common sense, in spite of being so smart. He had no, "sense," but he had lots of dollars which he used to buy more chemicals, test tubes and things for his computer. He even came up with cures for cancer, head injuries and all kinds of muscle diseases, even the common cold, but the problem was that he was afraid to share them with the general public since he wanted all the fame that went with his discoveries and was afraid somebody would beet him to the punch, which was why he went to Hawaii since he wanted so badly to have a, "Hawaiian Punch." Yet success seamed to be something that was not in his destiny since none of his inventions were marketable enough for him to become famous which made him mad, so that's why he was a, "mad-scientist." He was also a really strong Christian believer in Christ who went to a Church called The Dan River Pentecostal Holiness Church where the pastor was Bishop David, named after the greatest Earthy king of all-time, who also whipped the Philistine, Goliath with a sling-shot. Now, he also had his downfall though when he saw Bethsheba bathing. Actually, a better name for her would have been, " 'Bath'-sheba." Anyway, the Bishop was really anointed and knew the Good Book quite well so he was the Bishop of New Hope Pentecostal Holiness Church in Danville. He had a favorite apprentice named Cuz who was a walking-Bible, and had read the whole Book 3 times, writing down all of those Scriptures that were his favorites that leapt off the Pages into his heart. He called them, "the leaping Scriptures" for that reason. The ones he liked were made personal by putting I and me in place of the nouns and pronouns that were listed all throughout the entire Iwog, which is the acronym he had made up for The, "Infallible Word Of God." He was extremely cleaver.

Once as he was splitting atoms at night, a bolt of lightening struck the room he was in. Now, the weirdest thing was that there wasn't even a cloud in the sky, and what was that much odder was the fact that the bolt came in the house. It knocked Cuz across the room and slammed him against the wall, thus rendering him unconscious, just lying there with sparks flying.

When he came to, his head felt so mighty heavy, although as he sat up, he suddenly had hundreds of thoughts all running through his head at the same time. He didn't know it at the time, but that odd bolt of lightening came from Heaven by the Lord to bless him with all kinds of solutions about every kind of problem the whole world had, or ever would have in the future.

He went to see a neuro-brain specialist who looked into his left ear. When he did so, he saw fireworks still exploding from where the lightening bolt had struck him. "You can't see anything in there, can you Doc?" said Cuz, quite jokingly.

"On the contrary," said the doctor, "Somehow your brain cells have not only been restored, but you've got more than anybody I have ever seen in my life! Now, I don't understand that at all!"

When Cuz told the Bishop those things the brain specialist had reported, he wasn't at all surprised. "Of course!" he said, "I's Jehovah Rapha doing His magic! We knew He could do it!"

Since Cuz was healed, he had the greatest testimony of any evangelist in history. He took over the Bishop's place in Church without even setting foot in a, "cemetery school." That was a name Cuz had thought up because studying so much would almost kill any mortal person. Because of that, all the people in Church were huge fans of his preaching which was, "cool" to have so many, "fans." He later met Miss Right who was also a poet-author which meant she was really, Miss, "Write." They hit it off and soon got married and had some little poet-authors who grew up being really awesome as writing poems and, "authing" several types of many best-selling books which meant they were each a chip-off-the-old-blockhead, all successful in life, for Cuz was healed. Also the Church grew so big the people had to add on to accomadate every one of the new members who wanted to go there. Cuz said to everybody who didn't think he would ever amount to anything, "If you could see me now, you'd be sorry for doubting me!" He was voted Least Likely To Succeed by everybody in the schools he attended, but he said, "I hope you all are hungry, because you will have to eat all those negative words you said about me for dinner tonight! Bake them at 350 until they're golden brown! Also try to include your foot with it for desert!" He had a lot of room to talk, as did those offspring after they were hatched and eventually got married and laid their own eggs which hatched into great kids since they weren't, "robin' " anybody when they, "wren" to their friend, "Bob White" after each, "towhee" got well and they, "dove" into their field which was a, "cardinal" rule they all had to, "swallow." My friend, Will has a daughter who does bad things frequently so tell him, "Just, 'whip 'er, Will." At least I don't repeat things like a mocking bird does. At least I don't repeat things like a mocking bird does, but I'll, "sparrow" you from any more bird puns since, "migrate" sense of humor will make people, "flock" to get my books. Hopefully I won't, "lay an egg" on my, "poach," hopefully it hasn't, "scrambled" your brain too much, so I'll try to keep my, "sunny-side-up" no matter, "feather" or not this story will, "cell" anything that's written by a, "brain-damaged" survivor. At least Cuz finally had found some real, trued happiness. Yet Cuz has a family now, (at least that's what I'm hoping will happen for me some day), and so, like the best-written children's stories of all-time will officially finish up with,

"THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER!!!!" ----------------------------------------

The end. By, Cuz Roye.