Worthless

“I do suppose you can do anything,” said his mom after their dinner. Sam nodded and he went to bed.

Being a teenager Sam always had a fore biding of hopelessness about his future , taken social studies and literature as his major but never satisfied with it, becoming a doctor was his first choice but chemistry turned out to very hard for him. It doesn’t mean he had no interest in social studies….

It was a lovely morning of Sunday, the pear blossom and oranges had suddenly appear in the world, but it was so cruel for him, he always wanted to spend his holiday in a great manner by doing useful hobbies but the laziness joined with his lameness won’t let that to be happen. All of a sudden he planned to learn playing guitar, so he joined in tutorial class, enthusiastically he joined, but after three weeks he quit it.

This was not his first time, it was happening since he was eleven. At age eleven, football was his favorite sport only for a while but later changed into baseball soon, learning new things motivated him.

Well probably, learning new things is always was a better option but the problem is that he never stick to a single one.

“And now, I suppose you’ll hate me! “He said in a quick inevitable way. Mom looked at him quickly.

“Why should I? She asked.

“You mostly do,” he said; then he caught himself up. “I mean …. You mostly do when I get low grades.”

Mom knows that he was pulled over to a state of depression, maybe the reason was more than that of which he said, yet she didn’t know the problem of him, so she asked in a direct manner but his reply was none.

Mom, can I ask you something?

Yes, you may…

Do you ever think I was witless and worthless?

Sam! A voice rose,” you are so infuriating, why do think like that? You are clever but the problem is within you, you need patience to learn everything but you are lacking in it”.

Without any words he goes to his bed.

Sam mom fell into deep saddening, being a single parent is so hard but she never leave her courage. The gradual growing days of his son and his demeanor suddenly put her into despair.

She thought of her past life which was quite normal in the first and rest is a disaster. The couples happily dated for a prolonged time of 5 years and ended in happy marriage. Both of them loved passionately and their relationship can be describe as neither fantasy nor lust but a kind of caring and gentle relationship also their love was intimate.

Sam mom meet his dad while she was in Paris, Apparently she went to Paris to breathe in arts but eventually she fall for him, he was a handsome physician tho… Mom was an obstinate lover but she had her own tenderness for him, everything gets altered after happily completed their two years of marriage life. Some old memories really wanted to be buried, if it was not, then it will always bring nightmare. She was in despair when she exactly knows that her husband share his bed with the other one, this turned out to be an immediate reason of explosion resulted in divorce.

Some questions had always threatened her like a gloomy night? How can a man who adored her awfully would commit a sin like this when she with a six month old baby.” May be he was in need of big boobs, but why won’t he pick that before marrying me?” she was in utter confusion, thought of only solution was to sleep.

Dawn arrived, Sam found himself shrinking and afraid of the world, sometimes he was happy for a little while but he was haunted because of his impatience in learning new things and Yes! Probably he knows it will affect his future.

“Do sit down Sam, have your breakfast” said mom

He cut the bread and sat motionless.

“Are you waiting for axe to cut it off”!

Mom knows that Sam was resentfully worrying about his future, she knew that it was really very hard to pull out from it, even though she advises him a lot, it doesn’t make use.

She was glad to drive on. It was sudden hot weather, so Mom planned a trip to Switzerland, she loved travelling but Sam was quite content to keep quiet.

And the trip was really quite nice. Only Sam kept saying to herself: Why don’t I really care! Why I am never really thrilled? How awful, that I don’t really care about the landscape anymore! But I don’t. It’s rather awful. Why my grades are so low? Why my impatience level is downtime I really degrading?

He found nothing vital in Switzerland. He just carted through it all, though the landscape was dangerously attractive, he just surfed in his mobile. After the trip they reached home and the very next day he was curiously sad and he refused to go to school on the following week, this was so strange, entirely strange, yes Sam was not interested in anything and not having enough patience to learn new things but he daily went to school.

Nothing can haunt her like his son decision of quitting everything, Mom desperately makes the decision but the way of decisions she gonna made was absolutely right…

She drove the car with the spirit in which the outer landscape was filled with possibility…. Well, probably she went to a child psychiatrist. The Doctor was persistent in knowing his exact problem and also he understand his mental state of depression and also he exactly discovered the problem. Mom was furious enough to ask everything to the doctor.

“Nothing but a state of Oblivion, and also Sam in his inner self had the feeling of worthless and so much demotivated” said the doctor.”

“But I made a lot of situations for him to say it aloud to me!” then Why?

“How physical health is taken as pivotal as much too mental health, it is so important for parents to look at this but most of them failed. They don’t need a real mom or dad but they need a real friend especially when they are depressed or feeling alone, maybe you are failed in it… like being his friend,” Said the doctor.

“You see mom, Said Sam after their dinner, when they were nearing California, You had never known real tenderness: and if you do know them, with the same person, it makes a great difference.” Said Sam…

He never really knows about the story of his father because mom wants to purposefully hide it, and she took the whole blame on her, now just for his mental health.

It was six months after the counselling, now Sam ought to find about his talent and learned vast things, His hobbies are playing baseball, guitar and also learned the indoor games like chess etc…

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