Hair Head

With a large wide stretch matched with a full mouthed yawn, Adam rouses himself from bed. Scratching at his belly tuft becomes button picking which turns to a few scratches south of the border. Stumbling to the bathroom rubbing his eyes with his other hand another yawn flicks the light on and the boxers fly off. In front of the mirror, Adam uses both hands to grab onto the last 5 years of drinking a beer every night. Making a childish raspberry as he folds into himself. Adam tries to make himself look as fat as possible. He never fails to rouse a chuckle from himself.

Shaking his head away from thoughts of his flabby so called “Dad bod.” Adam flexes trying his hardest to make some muscles show. Mistaking his chest fat for muscle as he moves about. Adam puffs his chest out further, changing the positions of his body and arms to make himself look as thin and as muscular as possible. The Egyptian dance pose slides his butt cheeks against each other just enough to release the gate. A loud long fart comes out and like lightning Adam stands straight as a tree. After a brief bathroom break. Adam hops in the shower.

Cranking the heat up causes steam to billow out from around the cracks in the shower curtain and over the top. Letting the hot water turn him lobster red. Adam grabs the new shampoo his hairdresser told him to use the night before. Shrugging his shoulders to state oh well. Adam gets himself lathered up. Grabbing a loofah and a bottle of body wash, Adam twitches squeezing the bottle violently squirting soap all over the tub. With an aggravated sigh. Adam shrugs again and suds up. Stepping back into the water, Adam slams his eyes shut as he gently rubs the shampoo from his head. Rinsing himself thoroughly, Adam grabs the conditioner and repeats the whole process.

Super duper squeaky clean. Adam slips stepping out of the shower. Screaming he catches himself against his counter. With his temple resting an inch away from the sharp corner, he carefully stands back up and fully out of the shower. Ripping his towel off the rack to the left of him. Adam begins drying off. Starting with the head and moving his way down. Something doesn't feel right to Adam as he takes the towel off to look at it. Seeing nothing, he goes back to drying himself off. Still, this strange scratching sensation persists.

Taking another peak at the towel, Adam finds it to be completely normal. Getting his face real close to it, he stares into the very fibers of the towel. Closing his eyes, he rubs the towel against his face. Nothing. He rubs it against his chest. Nothing. He rubs his head and surely there's the accursed itch. Ripping the towel from his head, Adam flips the vent switch on, letting the hot steamy air flow out in exchange for colder air. Cold enough to clear the fog on the mirror for Adam to see. Nothing. His hair looks exactly like the hairdresser said it would.

With a rough shrug of confusion. Adam goes about drying himself off completely. Reaching behind the mirror into the medical cabinet. Adam grabs a stick of deodorant. A quick rub under each pit makes him smell like the woods. At least that's what the brand claims. Next comes a spritz of cologne. Something for the day, bold yet soft, a musty scent that lingers on the clothes and skin for hours. Washing his hands clean of any cologne and deodorant. Adam grabs a comb and two different bottles of hairspray while brushing his teeth. With a quick rinse and some mouth wash. Adam grabs the comb and runs it under some water. Combing through his hair to make it damp. Adam uses the first spray, nutrients and vitamins for the hair. Wetting his comb a second time, Adam combs through with the added spray. Now the second spray. A brutal concoction meant to hold the hair in place for days if needed. Molding his hair exactly how the hairdresser showed him. Adam takes a deep breath in, shuts his eyes and sprays all around his head to get a full layer of protection. Spraying too much on accident causes a cloud of the spray to linger around Adam. His face turns from red to blue he opens up and lets out what he can to take a massive breath in. Coughing and choking on the fog of hairspray. Adam waits for the cloud to fade. Taking a good look at himself in the mirror. Adam clicks his tongue, winks and snaps his fingers at himself saying.

“Damn handsome. You're going to rock this interview.”

Back in the bedroom; Adam opens up the closet to check what clothes he should wear for the day. A black v-neck and some faded jeans just will not do. Not a light sweater and black slacks. Not even the suit without the blazer. Shooting down each possible combination one after the other. Becoming flustered Adam throws a few clothes toward the bed. The two things that landed true would work well too. Khakis and a baby blue dress shirt. Something a little different but more casual. Pleased with his outfit. Adam slips on his comfy black tennis shoes and heads out the door.

Locking up behind himself. Adam notices Mrs. Hemmington on her porch across the street. Looking good and feeling good. Adam gives her a big wave and an even bigger smile. Mrs. Hemmington starts to smile and wave back but, pauses. She checks with and without her glasses, she even cleans them and gives her glasses a third check. Standing from her chair Mrs. Hemmington gives Adam the longest most uncomfortable death stare he's ever experienced in his life. As she slowly walks inside. Never once breaking eye contact until the door did it for them.

Shrugging it off Adam lets out a little chuckle saying. “What's her problem?”

Refusing to let Mrs. Hemmington ruin his good mood. Adam continues on his way to the bus stop. Just a short jaunt down the road from his neighborhood. It's not long before Adam arrives at the little bench and sign. Noticing the group of beautiful gals galloping down the street his way. Adam smells his breath and puts his attractive face on. Giving the signature Dwayne Johnson eyebrow, or at least what he thought looked as such. Adam clears his throat to the girl closest to him.

Smiling the tall brunette turns her head his way. Giving him the chance of a single glance. Her smile turns sour twisting into a grimace. Scoffing at him. She shakes her head muttering to her friends. “His hair is unbelievable. Did you guys see that? I mean. Wow.”

The bus arrives as the group of women walk away, Adam steps aboard. The bus driver stops him momentarily and gives him a look over. Feeling rather confident Adam smiles showing teeth while flashing the drive his bus pass. In return the driver gives Adam that kind of I feel sorry for you smile. Confused Adam strides with purpose to the back of the bus and pops a squat in the corner seat near the window. Chuckling to himself Adam realizes why everyone is acting so weird. His hair has made him too attractive to approach normally anymore. They must think he's a celebrity or model.

“That has to be it.” Adam says muttering to himself.

Looking up from his thoughts. Adam realizes every last eyeball on the bus is glued to his head. Checking his reflection in the glass. Adam shakes his head thinking, they just can't handle his new Tom Cruise style. The bus soon rolls into his stop. Feeling even more confident then before Adam doesn't walk, no he struts down the aisle of the bus. Popping his butt out for all the other riders to see. Adam steps off the bus feeling...hot. Chest puffed out, Adam walks with purpose to the office his interview is scheduled at.

Passing an older man sitting on the park bench outside. Adam takes this chance to calm down and collect himself before heading inside. The old man having taken notice of Adam says in a friendly quiet voice. “Excuse me, Sir? Would you care to sit with me for a second?”

Taking a deep breath Adam shakes his hands out replying. “You know, that would be great. Thank you. Um...I'm Adam.”

“Steve.” The old man replies, holding out his hand.

Shaking his hand lightly. Adam chuckles saying. “So why sit alone outside the office?”

Looking away and up at the building Steve sighs saying. “Yesterday was my last day. To be honest, I'm not quite ready to let it go.”

The morning sun slowly rises across the horizon warming the trees around the office building. The light babbling sound of water flowing from the nearby fountain where the birds drink and sing their happy songs. Adam focuses on each of these things one by one as the two spend an awkward moment in silence together. Each thinking of different things. Each from different places.

Adam starts and pauses. Then starts again by saying. “Tomorrow might be my first day. Are they a good place?”

“One of the best. You'll love it here.” Steve softly replies.

Checking his watch Adam sighs. “Looks like it's that time. It was a pleasure meeting you.”

“Same to you. Oh and Adam?”

Stopping a step short of the front door. Adam turns around asking. “Yeah?”

Taking his black veterans hat off his head, Steve tosses it to Adam, saying. “Take my hat and wear it in the interview. Say it came from Stephen Foley. It'll bring you good luck.”

Taking the hat with him Adam gives Steve a big thumbs up and turns around hastily walking inside. Covering his mouth, Adam finds the nearest restroom to go laugh in. The moment Steve took his hat off...His hair. Bursting through the door of the mens restroom. Adam practically dies of laughter. Laughing till he can't breath and he needs to hold his hurting side. Looking up into the reflection of the bathroom mirror. Adam gets a good look at how his hair had dried from earlier that morning. Embarrassed his hair looks just like Steve's. Putting on the old hat Adam heads into his interview, secretly thanking the old man for saving him from anymore shame.