After the Nikah

The car was silent as we made the drive down to our dad's new house. The sun was rising quietly, and the trees rushed by like they had somewhere important to go. I rolled down my window on the passenger side and breathed in the fresh air. For the first time in forever, my breath was not tainted with exhaust from trucks and random smoke from the streets. 

"Close the window." My older brother said harshly. Nazeer had not yet accepted our parents' divorce and this trip was hard for him.

"Naz, won't you stop on the way? I need to use the restroom." I inquired.

"Hold it." He said "If we get there early enough, we can spend a few hours and go back home before it gets dark."

I looked at the back seat and saw my younger brother, Khalid sleeping peacefully. 

"A five year old doesn't know much." I thought.

I wanted to be twelve years younger so I could be as blissfully unaware as he was.

A few minutes later, Naz stopped at a filling station and I ran off with a half asleep Khalid to relieve our bladders. 

"Where's mummy?" Khalid asked, rubbing his sleepy eyes.

"She's at home." I replied, pulling up his pants and rushing back to the car where Naz was waiting impatiently.

The drive continued and I was too tense to take a nap, so I distracted myself with the views. It seemed that the farther we travelled, the more unrecognizable the buildings became. The houses were small and far between, separated by vast expanses of land. It was fascinating.  

"We're here." Naz announced.

I opened my eyes, glad that sleep was able to subdue me. Naz stopped the car in front of a house and honked at the gate.

"Have you been here before?" I wanted to ask, but my brother's face was so stony, it was like a wall.

The gate flew open, and we drove into the compound. I got down from the car and carried Khalid out. We had only two small bags, so Naz had no problem carrying them alone.

"Asalamu Alaykum" I heard my dad's voice say as we walked into the house. 

He walked up to us and I almost didn't recognize him. His face was plump and his tummy was round, I never would have guessed that three months of marriage could do that to him. 

My dad showed Naz and I our bedrooms upstairs, and it was agreed that Khalid would sleep with me since he wasn't used to the house. 

I changed into the pink abaya dad had bought for me on his last trip to Dubai. Mum picked that out for me to wear so that his new wife would see how much he loved us or something like that. She never made much sense when she explained things about dad and 'the woman', she just cried and yelled. 

"Asalamu Alaykum Khadijat!" I heard a woman greet as I stepped out of my room. I had been dreading this moment, and here it was.

"Wa ʿalaykumu salam" I replied, turning to face the woman who destroyed my family.

She was smiling and excited, I couldn't quite make out why. What I could see was that she was a beautiful woman with perfect teeth and a small nose. I had met her only once before at their Nikah, but never up close like this. 

Naz walked out of his room. He saw me standing in front of the woman and frowned at me. 

"Oh Nazeer, Asalamu Alaykum." She greeted him.

He responded in an unpleasant tone, and dragged me off to his room. 

"How can you talk to that woman?" He questioned.

"She was greeting me." I responded. "Why did you drag me here?"

"I can't find Khalid's shoes." He said.

"Let me check my bag." I said and went to my room.

"It's time! Let's go!" I heard my dad say downstairs.

I still hadn't found the shoes, so I rushed to tell Naz. He was already on the staircase, carrying Khalid. 

"What are you saying? Didn't you pack them?!" He yelled.

"Mummy packed Khalid's things." I replied.

"What is the problem?" My dad asked.

"We can't find Khalid's shoes." Naz answered.

"I have some of my Ahmed's shoes in the room, let me get them." The woman said.

I assumed Ahmed was her young son. I remembered seeing him and his sister at the Nikah.

"No." my brother said as she was going up the stairs.

"Why?" My dad asked, looking irritated. 

How could we tell him what mum had told us? That his new wife was a witch and we just wanted to protect our brother.

"Let me go and check Nazeer's bag again." I said and rushed up the stairs.

I tore the bag open and poured everything on the bed. As I lifted each item, I begged God to let me find the shoe. I had never felt so much relief to find two tiny shoes.

We got into the car and my dad drove to the Eid prayer ground. The drive was silent, and I could tell that Naz blamed me for the shoe incident. 

"Where are we going?" Khalid asked, finally awake enough to have a conversation.

"See daddy." I said.

"Daddy!" He said excitedly, but my dad just nodded.

We went our separate ways at the Eid prayer ground, dad and my brothers went forward to the men's side and I stayed with the woman on the women's side.

Sitting next to her was very different from sitting next to my mum. For one, nobody came to greet her like it was always the case with my mum. She had an air of elegance around her, it was like she thought she was a queen. 

We left the prayer ground and the short drive back to the house was more animated. I played with Khalid and dad seemed to enjoy his new wife's company. She sat beside him at the passenger seat and chuckled carelessly throughout the fifteen minute drive. 

As I changed into my home clothes, I remembered my mum's instructions.

"Your father will make you eat that witch's food, so make sure you are there when they are cooking. Open your eyes well." My mum had said. 

I walked down the stairs to see two small children playing in the living room. The girl had the woman's face almost perfectly, and the boy had her eyes. 

"This is your big sister, greet her." The woman said.

"Asalamu Alaykum big sister!" They chorused.

Sister indeed. How was I to explain to these children that we did not have the same blood running in our veins?

"Ahmed and Farida are seven, they're  twins." The woman explained about the children.

I nodded in agreement and offered my help  with cooking the ram and cow which were still lounging at the back of the house.

"There's no need for that dear." She smiled and walked away.

"Big sister play with us!" Farida pulled me to the couch where they were playing with toys. "We went to my daddy's house yesterday. When did you come big sister?" She asked, and began a lengthy monologue. 

"New daddy does not like my daddy, but I like my daddy." She concluded.

I chuckled at her chattering away without a single response from me. I wondered if I was like that at her age.

After a few minutes, I managed to escape from her made-up game world. I went into the kitchen to see two women cooking. I figured they were caterers and understood why the woman had said that she didn't need my help.

I went up the stairs to Naz's room. He was working on his final year project on his laptop while Khalid was watching a cartoon on his tablet.

"You seem to be having fun with those people." Naz said.

"Stop being so dramatic." I said, joining Khalid on the floor.

"I don't know what is dramatic to you." He turned to face me. "Those people have caused us so much pain. I feel ashamed now, people look at me like I am a criminal, all because of those people."

"If you want to be nice to them, go ahead, but it's either us or them. Pick a side and stop pretending." He concluded and returned to his laptop.

I understood how he felt, and maybe it was because I had seen our parents' marriage unravel in person, but I didn't feel so much anger about the divorce. Ever since Khalid was born, and long before my dad cheated with that woman, our home had turned into a battleground. 

Accusations and threats filled every conversation, and it even escalated to yelling and throwing. I was scared to come home every day, scared to leave Khalid at home. Honestly, I was relieved when they got divorced. Although it hurt that my dad picked a stranger and her family over us, he was never much of a father to begin with.

Naz was too angry to talk, so I went down to the kitchen and cooked something for us to eat. I definitely wasn't going to eat the woman's food. Thankfully, she and my dad were too busy with guests all day to notice anything. 

"See how you're glowing!" I heard a familiar voice as I walked up the stairs.

"It is your brother's handiwork." My dad's wife replied.

I looked into the living room and saw my dad's best friend, uncle Taofeek and his wife having a cozy conversation with the woman. These were the same people who were once close to my mum, but they suddenly disappeared a few months before, and I had just discovered why.

The day passed by slowly with the three of us locked in Naz's room. I tried to distract myself by entertaining Khalid, but my mind kept thinking. I thought about all the things my mum had told us about the woman. I thought about how peaceful but sad the house was without dad. 

My thoughts pulled me in two different directions; hate and acceptance. Naz and mum had already chosen hate and were always angry because of it. I had reasons to be angry too, I also felt embarrassed by the situation, but I didn't see how hating them would help me. 

As I put Khalid to sleep beside me that night, I thought about it again. Hate or acceptance? With that question lingering in the back of my mind, I fell asleep, unexpectant of what the next day would bring.