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Fiction Funny

I've been pacing my apartment for the past 10 minutes in annoyance. Some people are just born with bad luck.

Rent is due tomorrow, the landlord is on vacation, and the only money I have is cash. I'd put the money under the door, but I'm afraid someone will take it. The microwave somehow came unplugged from the wall and I can't reach my arm far enough to plug it back in. The TV is only playing a couple channels, none of which I watch, and the couch is down to its last leg. Literally.

My phone buzzed, the sound reverberating through the small apartment. I stopped pacing, answered, and kept walking. 

"What's up?"

"Hey Mallory," my younger sister Penny answered, "Do you want to go the Dragon Boat Festival with me and a couple girlfriends?" 

I wandered over to the window, to where I could see the festival being set up a couple blocks away.

"Sorry Pen, I'd love to go with you guys, but I'm already going with someone else."

"Darn. Maybe we'll see you there. Who are you going with?" There was a pause. "Are you going with Ben?" 

I bit my lip and smiled at the window. After a second, my sister shrieked in my ear. I heard the jingle of car keys and Penny hurriedly talking about how she was going to be over any minute.

"Hang tight!" she exclaimed and hung up. 

~

Five minutes later, I was being bombarded with questions by my sister. How she managed to get here so fast when she lives further than five minutes away, I have no idea. 

She was sitting on the broken couch with a notebook in hand, pen poised above the paper. 

"When are you meeting?"

"Around 5, so in an hour and a half."

"Have you thought about what you're going to wear?"

"Kinda. I was thinking something casual."

"Are you going to get food there? If so, you might not want to wear white, just in case." 

The questions had been going on like that for a couple of minutes, when Penny abruptly stopped. She put her notepad down on the coffee table and looked at me. 

"Mal, have you thought about your bad luck yet? What are you going to do?" My sister, of course, was talking about how I have had a horrible run of bad luck my entire life. 

I was born on the fifth day of the fifth month, which is considered the unluckiest day of the year. That's why the Dragon Boat Festival is held on this day, to ward off the bad luck the day brings. My parents, thinking it was funny at the time, also decided to name me Mallory, which means 'unhappy', or 'unlucky'. If being born on the unluckiest day of the year didn't make you unlucky for the rest of your life, being named unlucky surely didn't help either. 

After several years, my sister and I figured that I must have just been born with bad luck. Nothing else could explain it. The day before rent is due, the landlord is out of town. The only things I have left in the fridge are microwavable, and I can't plug the microwave back in. I was going to ask Ben if he wanted to come over to my place after we went to the festival and watch a show, but then the couch broke and the TV went on the fritz. How else could you explain it?

I really want this date to go well. Ben and I are both getting our Master's in Statistics and we are both TA's for the department. I haven't known him super long, but I evidently like him enough to have told Penny.

I leaned against the window sill and shot my sister a smug look. 

"I have thought of that, actually. Some of my friends were talking about going to one of the booths. Apparently, you can be granted good luck for a certain amount of time. I was thinking I could get to the festival early and see if it was worth a shot. I mean, no point in not trying." 

Penny nodded. "Good idea. You should probably get going soon so you have enough time to find the booth." She looked at me with a grin on her face, "Which means, it's time to pick out your outfit!"

She jumped up from the couch, grabbed my arm, and practically dragged me down the hallway to my room. 

~

Half an hour later I was pulling out of the parking garage. The street was crowded with cars and the sidewalk was packed with people all going to the festival. This could take longer than I thought. 

Traffic, thankfully, traveled faster than I thought it would. I was scanning the streets for a place to park, when I spotted an opening up ahead of me. 

My car was a foot too big. Coincidence? I think not. 

I kept driving and I finally found a space to park in. It was further away than I had hoped, but it worked. 

I parked and started walking. Fortunately, the mass of people on the sidewalks were going in the same direction I was. Unfortunately, they were all going in the same direction I was. The admission gates were flooded with people. 

I tried to be as patient as possible while waiting. I only had 35 minutes until I was meeting Ben. Between finding the booth, doing whatever to change my luck, and getting through the rest of this line, I was going to be cutting it close. 

By the time I made it through the gate, I only had 25 minutes. I snagged a map from a stand and started walking. I walked for a couple minutes through the crowd before I stopped to look at the map. Of course. The words had been double printed and were nearly impossible to read. 

I crumpled the map up and started walking back toward the gate. I kept looking for a trashcan to throw the garbage map in, but I couldn't find one. Ugh. 

It took me another couple minutes to get a new map. I had a little under 20 minutes. I still hadn't found a trashcan, so I shoved the crumpled map in my jeans pocket. 

The new map was readable, and I scanned for the booth. I didn't know what it was called, but it didn't take too long to find. It was called Change Your Luck, and was on the opposite side of the festival. Why? Can't it just be one of the first booths you pass? No? Okay, I see how it is.

I made my way through the throng of people as quickly as I could, and by the time I made it to the booth, I had 15 minutes. Including the five minutes it will take me to walk back to the gate, I really had 10. 

There was a bright, colorful banner hanging off the front of the booth, proclaiming that this was Change Your Luck. Dragons covered the cloth that was laid out on the floor, and the dim lighting came from candles placed on various spots around the booth. It appeared to be empty. 

I walked towards Change Your Luck, put the map in my other back pocket, and knocked on one of the wooden posts holding the booth up. 

"Hello!" someone cheerfully said, rather loudly, right next to me. I jumped a foot in the air. I turned to glare at them, but before I could, they grabbed my arm and dragged me inside the booth. 

"Sit." I sat. Across from me was an older woman, with fluffy grey hair, big round glasses, and shoes that looked to be a mens size 11. She clasped her hands together and leaned forward, intently looking at me. "Well, I'm assuming that you came here to have your luck changed?"

"Oh, um, yes. Yes, I would like to have my luck changed." I shifted uncomfortably where I was sitting. The old lady hadn't stopped staring the entire time I'd been seated. 

She made a sound in her throat and reached behind her, producing a Chinese dragon holding a small bowl seemingly out of thin air. In the bowl were red Chinese tassels. 

"If you did not know," the old woman began, "the dragon is an ancient symbol of good luck. Red Chinese tassels are also a symbol of good luck." She set the statue down between them, clasping her hands once again. "I believe, that when you are granted a red tassel from a Chinese dragon, that you will have good luck. Now beware, this good luck can only last so long. Good luck and bad luck must stay balanced in the universe. Now yes, we do hold this festival to ward off bad luck, but that doesn't mean that we always succeed.

"When you are granted a tassel, you will have good luck for two hours." That's good. I was only going to be at the festival for an hour, hour and a half. "After your two hours are up, you will have bad luck for the next two hours, so the luck in the universe stays balanced." The lady nudged the statue and stared at me. "Are you ready?"

I nodded and reached my hand into the bowl. I tried to grab a tassel, but it slipped out of my hand. I tried again and the same thing happened.

"Stop trying to grab the tassel. Remember, the dragon lets you have good luck. Let it give you the tassel." I stopped myself from rolling my eyes. Can't I just grab a tassel and leave? I only have five minutes!

Nonetheless, I relaxed my hand and stopped trying to grab a tassel. Almost instantly, I felt something nestle against my palm. I curled my fingers around the tassel and lifted it from the bowl. 

"Congratulations!" The old lady clapped enthusiastically. "Not everyone is gifted a tassel. I've had several people come through my booth today, and you are the first to be granted a tassel." She picked up the statue and put it behind her. 

I stood up and so did the old woman. I put the tassel in my pocket, thanked her, and left. It might have just been the shadows, but I didn't see the dragon statue behind her. It had simply disappeared. 

~

I made my way back to the gate, where I met Ben. I wasn't late and got there a couple minutes early. While I was walking back, I also found a trash can and threw the garbage map away. 

We played games at some of the booths, and the tassel must have been working, because I won all of the chance games. When we ordered drinks, I got something random and it was probably one of the best things I've ever tasted. We got great seats for a boat race, and any rides we went on had small lines. 

We walked back to the gate when I had 30 minutes of good luck left. 

When I got to the car, I realized that in my rush I had forgotten to pay the meter. Lucky for me, no one had given me a ticket. 

I got in the car and took out the tassel. It's color had faded, and the edges were frayed. 

The traffic wasn't too bad on the drive home. I parked and took the elevator up to my floor. I took out the tassel again. It was white and pieces were falling off of it. The elevator door opened, I stepped out, and the tassel turned into dust in my hand. I shook my head. Disappearing dragon statues, tassels turned into dust, and appearing out of nowhere. That old woman sure was something. 

Anyway, my good luck had run out. I dusted off my hand and walked down the hallway to my apartment. When I sat down on the couch, I heard a snap and the last leg of the couch went skittering across the living room floor. I sighed. 

My phoned buzzed and I took it out. I had a notification from my landlord. Rent was due yesterday. 

June 18, 2021 02:23

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