Arnold's Lodge Meeting

Arnold meandered around the dark corner to the lodge. A few cars lined the dimly lit streets. He had missed the last several meetings as his wife had been extremely ill and eventually died. As he reached the door, an eerie feeling came over him. Having not attended in several months, he was not sure of the password to get in. I’ll knock and they will let me in, he thought to himself, three fast knocks and two slow.

Ra-rap-rap - - - rap - - - rap.

Slowly the eye hole in the door opened. “Whatya want?” the voice inside bellowed.

Arnold paused. That’s not the proper greeting! He’s supposed to ask me the codeword.

The voice bellowed again. “Look, buddy, you want somethin’ or not?”

“I want in,” Arnold answered.

Immediately the eye hold closed. Arnold waited for the door to the lodge to open. He waited. Nothing.

Ra-rap-rap - - - rap - - - rap. Again, Arnold knocked.

Again, the eye hole in the door opened slowly. “Will you stop bothering us?” the voice inside was becoming belligerent.

Arnold answered quickly, “I’m a member here. I want to come in.”

“Sorry pal, wrong knock,” and the eye piece slammed shut.

Wrong knock? How can that be? I’ve been member here for over 45 years. Except for my wife’s illness and death, I’ve been attending faithfully every month. How can they not let me in? I know I have the right knock, or do I? he thought to himself.

Arnold was determined to get in. Maybe its three slow knocks and two fast.

Ra - - - rap - - - rap - - - rap-rap.

This time the eye door opened faster, “Go away,” The voice thundered, and the eye hole slammed just as fast.

I’ll try two fast and three slow, Arnold said to himself.

Rap-rap - - - rap - - - rap - - - rap.

“Look, for the last time. Go away!”

But this time Arnold has an answer. He took a pencil out of his coat pocket and shoved it into the eye hole so the man inside couldn’t shut it. Of course, Arnold hadn’t considered that the pencil might poke him in the eye – and it did.

“My eye! My eye!” came the screams from inside. “He poked me in the eye!” Arnold continued to hear the screams when two large fingers appeared in the eye hole and snapped his pencil in half. When the eye hole closed again with such force, the massive door actually rattled.

Arnold felt like he needed to apologize, so he knocked again. This time it would be two slow and three fast. Also, this time, he had his favorite fountain pen to shove into the eye hole. They won’t break this baby, thought Arnold.

Rap - - - rap - - - rap-rap- - - -.

Just as he was about to make his last quick ‘rap,’ the corner was abuzz with police cars screeching in from all directions.

“Drop the weapon and step away from the door,” A horn was blasting the warning. “Do not turn around and get down on the ground.”

With Arnold’s age, getting down on the ground was not an option. He could barely get up out of a chair. He decided to turn around and explain his physical condition when the horn sounded again; this time with more intensity.

“Drop the weapon and step away from the door. Do not turn around and get down on the ground.” A bright light was suddenly flashed, blinding him.

Weapon? I don’t have a weapon, thought Arnold to himself. They must think my fountain pen is a weapon. I’ll show them my fountain pen.

Before Arnold could lift his hand, the last thing he remembers is several huge arms wrapping themselves around his body as he was tackled to the ground.

“Mr. Benton? Mr. Benton, can you hear me? I’m Lieutenant Graves. You are in the hospital. You have several injuries. The doctors are taking care of you. Do you have any next of kin whom we can contact?"

Arnold was barely coherent. “Next of kin?” he mumbled. “No, my wife just passed. I have a brother, but he’s out of state. How do you know who I am?”

“Mr. Benton, we found your wallet. Mr. Benton, do you know what happened to you?” asked the Lieutenant.

“Yes, I was going to my lodge meeting, and they didn’t recognize my secret knock. I’ve been going there for over 45 years. Three fast knocks and two slow.” Arnold bangs on the side of his bed railing.

Ra-rap-rap - - - rap - - - rap.

“I’m the Grand Supreme Totum at my lodge, I’ve been a leader for over 30 of those years. I know my lodge’s secret knock.”

“I believe you, sir,” said the Lieutenant, “but you made a small mistake. You see, your lodge was one more block over. You were at the wrong building. Plus, we contacted your lodge. It was the wrong night. Last night was Thursday. The meeting was on Wednesday.”

Arnold stared blankly at the Lieutenant for several seconds. “I really messed up, didn’t I? I guess the people inside that building really thought I was a goofus. Did they call you after I poked someone’s eye out?”

“Actually,” answered the Lieutenant, “someone in the apartments across the street heard the screams and called us.”

Arnold sighed, “I’m so sorry I caused all this trouble. You guys must hate me.”

“To be honest, Mr. Benton, We are so grateful to you for what happened.”

“Grateful? After all the trouble I caused? I guess the man whose eye I poked is going to sue me, and I will lose everything.”

“That man is in jail.”

“He’s in jail? I should be the one in jail, not him; I’m the guilty one.”

“Mr. Benton, you did not know this, but the door you knocked on housed the biggest counterfeit ring this town has ever seen. When we checked into the building and found the printing presses, we were able to stop a flood of counterfeit bills hitting the streets within the week. The man whose eye you poked got medical attention and was sent to jail, along with the rest of the counterfeiters.”

The Lieutenant paused, reaching out his hand to shake with Arnold. “The entire police department and all the citizens of this town owe you a debt of gratitude for your help in cracking this case.”

Just at that moment, Arnold’s eyes lit up. “I remember!” he exclaimed.

“Three slow and three fast!”

Ra - - - rap - - - rap - - - rap-rap-rap.