6 comments

Fiction Suspense Mystery

That's the thing about this city...


Who would have thought one chilly December morning, could change everything...  Taryn, a young, beautiful, 13-year-old girl, just trying to get on with life. 

“Mom!” Taryn yelled as she made her way to and out the door, “I'm headed to my bus stop! I don't want to miss it!” 

“Okay please be safe!”

Taryn was already out the door jogging and praying she didn't miss her bus stop. As she makes her way there, she noticed no one was there. Not even her best friend, she turns around assuming she missed her bus to ask her mother for a ride to school. Taryn goes home to an empty house, she went inside and yelled softly “Hey mom you there? I think I missed my bus for school An-” She noticed her house was very unusually messy. It was not even messy when she left, and her house was never messy unless it is after a birthday party or Christmas. In confusion, she grabs her phone she dials her mom. She did not get an answer, so she waited 20 minutes before she tried to call her again, yet still no answer. So, she just went to her room to draw to calm herself down. Hours past like it's nothing and still No sign of her mom. Taryn and her mother both live alone together, it wasn't always like that. Of course, she Has a father, but he died in a house fire, along with her sisters. 7 years ago, to be exact. She doesn't really remember a lot about them because she was so young at the time. Taryn starts freaking out because she doesn't know what to do so she decided to call a few more people, her mom's friends, grandma, and her cousins. She called them all at least 4 times and not even one answer from anyone, it took her automatically to voicemail. So, she just gave up and went to her room, so she could try to fall asleep and hope her mom is there in the morning. She sits there for minutes, then fell asleep due to stress.


The next morning, Taryn woke up new and refreshed thinking what happened yesterday was a dream. Without any worries, she makes her way downstairs to find an empty kitchen, this is when this horrible overwhelming feeling hit her in the guts. 

“Momma!” She cried. 

But there's was no reply. She looks in her mom's rooms to find nothing but a dirty room. Taryn tries calming herself down so she could think, took a few minutes but she did. First, she decided to get some breakfast and get ready for the day. As she's getting ready, she thinks of why no one would answer her calls yesterday and why her mom never came home. She just finished changing and made her way out her door. And thought of where she could go since she doesn't have to ask for permission because her mom isn't home. And that's when the idea hit her. 

“Oh my god our summer hide out.” 

She hops on her bike and takes off down past her school to an old, abandoned house her and her friends found 4 years ago, they turned it into their “summer hideout “it's not that bad looking inside, 4 years' worth of our work fixing it up. Once Taryn got there, she took a good look at that old building and thought of all those good memories she's had with her friends she currently has and her old friends. She got a weird gut feeling suddenly that something is watching her. In her head she's said” Don't look around, just go inside and don't turn around.” So, she did so. She walked into a surprise. There she was standing there two boys around her age and a girl a little older than her she assumes. In confusion she's asks,

“Who are you!? And how did you get here!?”

“Shhhhh!” One boy shushed me, with beautiful green eyes and black hair. 

“We don't need to be found! “He whispered aggressively.

“Well, I don't know who in the world you are! Or why your here in my hideout! Or what's even going on right now!” Taryn snapped at him.

“We don't know either. Okay. Just chill out.” The older girl said so peacefully.

The room got completely quiet, no one made a sound or moved for a few minutes. Then all the suddenly. Boom, there's that overwhelming feeling telling me I must get them all out of here quickly.

“Follow me now! Don't ask why just do it now!”

 darted out the door. They all took hiding spots away from the house but near each other like they knew what they were doing. 

Taryn was near the boy with beautiful green eyes and asked, “what's your name?” 

“Kade” he said with a wink.

Taryn gave him a funny look and questioned what he meant by them don't need to be found. He hesitated before answering her and look at her in the eyes. And said, “I don't know if you could tell or not but there is literally no one left in this city, we looked and looked and found only each other. When we found Katy, the girl over there, she was being chased but something, we don't know what but it's far worse than you could imagine.” He said softly,” We believe there's some unhuman stuff going on in this city. People has been going missing since September, and we always feel like they been following, or something is watching us. We think that's what happened with theses thousands of people that has disappeared. I fear that one of us will be next.”

Taryn stood there in shock, “this is all happening so quickly...” she thought to herself.

“I- I don't even know what to say- this is crazy-” Taryn said.

Kade replied, “I know, and I fear they or it will get us all eventually.”

Taryn said, ”yeah.. Wait. where is the other two...?”

They both froze in fear. As soon as I turned around.... it went black.

Thing about this city, is that you'll never know if you'll be next..


March 16, 2021 14:08

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6 comments

Danny -
03:42 Mar 18, 2021

Chilling story, Lucy! Ack, everything's laid out so beautifully. You described the setting so well, it was as though I was there myself. And eep, aldksfjlakf, like seriously, I DID NOT SEE THAT ENDING COMING, NOT FROM A MILE AWAY, NOT FRON ANY MILE :') tears, i've been reading so much of plot twists and cliffhangers lately, and I never see them coming lol. Buuuuuuuuuut, the thing is, as mysterious and thrilling this story was, how did i not see it coming? lol tears, you've immersed me into your rabbit whole of suspense and now i cant get out...

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Lucy Thompson
12:58 Mar 18, 2021

Ah omg thank you, this kind of stuff gives me motivation to keep going and getting more ideas! :) Sure you can point them out if you’d like, sometimes I completely forget about checking for typos and stuff like that. And yeah I’m gonna try to, it’s hard to do this and get school work done in time lol XD Thank you for the comment, it helps me a lot!

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Sarah Freeman
20:59 Mar 18, 2021

Hey Lucy! Loved it! Taryn’s a very pretty name. Also, how did you crank out four stories in a single week? I actually haven’t written a story since last November, I think.... yikes, I know. Welcome to Reedsy by the way! I’d advise you don’t put up your phone number or personal info in your bio, though, just to be safe. People can get a lot of information about you from an email and phone number. Area codes and such. Well, congrats on being a great writer! Keep writing!

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Lucy Thompson
13:18 Mar 19, 2021

Thank you :) And thanks for letting me know :)

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Lucy Thompson
13:20 Mar 19, 2021

And I don’t even know how I got four stories lol. I have school but after school I have like a lot of free time.

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Tessa Takzikab
19:25 Mar 18, 2021

Hey Lucy, I love the plot, and I'm looking forward to reading the other parts of the story you have out. I love the way you make her take advantage of her freedom before you have her realize that something's wrong. However, you tend to slip between tenses. Try to stick to either past or present. Also, there's one point where you switch to first person. Since the rest of the story is in third, that also should be fixed. You also have typos, but you should be able to get most of those yourself if you reread the story. One last thing: when I w...

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