You never forget the first

WARNING: Rape/Non-consensual, attraction to minors, implied murder, highly unreliable narrator.

I should have known that she meant trouble the first time I laid eyes upon her.

The town I live in is quite small, the kind of place where everyone knew everybody and few secrets were kept well. Thus there was plenty of curiosity when a new family moved into the old house at the lake. It’s not much to say about them, just your average nuclear family with two kids and a dog. I don’t remember the names of the parents nor the boy, but I’ll never forget the daughter.

For the sake of the story it should be mentioned that I work as a bus driver and have been responsible for the bus drives to the local school in town. It started as an ordinary day. I arrived at the garage with my thermos full of coffee. There I found that my route had changed. Instead of driving all the way to the old train station, my first stop would be at the lake. I didn’t think much more of it, other than a little extra reminder that I’d have to stop a bit earlier than usual. After that, there wasn't anything else to do other than jump into the driver’s seat and start my day. While sipping my coffee, I just enjoyed the peace and calm before my bus would be full of loud children and teenagers. It was still warm and the sun had been up for a while, though it wouldn’t take long until cold and darkness would have the land in a harsh grip. In my little moment of tranquility, I had almost forgotten that my route had changed. I was brought back to reality when I spotted a young girl standing at the bus stop to the lake. I figured she must be my new passenger as I pressed down the brakes to stop the bus. The girl was sweet as sugar, with sun bleached curls and a tanned face from countless hours on a beach somewhere. She was wearing a white tank top showing her midriff and shorts that revealed long slender legs. Her blue eyes had mischievous twinkle in them as she spoke:

“Is this the ride to the juvie?”

Taken aback by her question, the only thing I could muster was a:

“What?”

She let out a loud giggle, before saying:

“I meant the school of course, but to be honest, it might as well be a damn prison.”

She giggled before stepping aboard to find a free spot. Of course she chose the front row, practically jumping into the seat. She leaned forward and said with a teasing smile:

“Just so mister driver won't be all by himself.”

With burning cheeks I ignored her as I pressed down the pedal and continued on our merry way. Then nothing else happened. Well, almost. There was this one time I threw a glance in the rearview mirror, only to get my gaze caught on her shirt. I hadn’t noticed it before, but now I noticed that the fabric was thin to the point of me being able to see her pink bra through her top. I know it’s very inappropriate to stare at a woman’s bosom in such a manner, but I couldn’t help myself. The pink color almost worked as a mating call for the round things underneath. I’ve always been weak for breasts, like most men. I just can’t stop looking at them, squeeze the soft but firm flesh in my hands and lick those cute little nipples. Considering her young age, she hardly needed a bra for them to stay perky. To myself, I pondered if they were still untouched, or if she had allowed a boy to play with them. That was when our eyes met. I expected her to either stare at me in disgust or look away with a red face, which usually was the case with young girls who had started to gain attraction from men. She didn’t. Instead she gave me a coy smile, while her eyes sparkled mischievously once again, as if she was amused by the attention. With a deep sigh, I forced myself to look away. I realized that this girl was going to bring a lot of problems.

Time proved me right, as it didn’t take long for people to start talking about this young girl, whose name I later found out to be Bella. She was very problematic to say the least. Her mother used to complain to everyone who wanted to listen about how she seemed to not get a hold on her bothersome daughter. Everything she said, I found out through my wife. Against my will I got to hear everything about Bella’s habit to skip classes to hang out with a group of older boys who were known troublemakers in our town, how she would yell obscenities at people while clinging to a bottle of liquor and the amounts of excuses she would have for her bad habits. The only thing I could do was nod and agree to how terrible Bella was, but in my head, I had a hard time letting her go. Every man, no matter religious beliefs and political views, will feel a certain attraction to a wild woman. Speaking as someone who grew up in a Christian household, when you are used to the woman being the docile of the two sexes, you can’t help being allured by the women who refuse to abide by the roles of society. You might speak ill of her behind her back, you might even call her one of the many vulgar but oh so accurate words directed at those women. But deep inside the very soul, you want to just indulge in those primal desires these women can bring you. I’m not really embarrassed to admit this. It should also be known that at this point in life, my love life with my wife was practically dead. That despite the fact that our youngest child had recently left home and we had more time to ourselves. To be frank, my wife has never been the most passionate lover, being raised to be chaste by her mormonic parents, which made me hardly more interested to initiate intimacy with her. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate my wife in any way. The thing is just even for a man, ordinary vanilla sex gets boring after a while. Until I met Bella, I had been able to satisfy my own needs by my own trusty hand and a bunch of movies with content that would make my dear wife faint. With this in mind, was it really that odd that I kept thinking of Bella, the girl with colorful lingerie under thin white clothes? She was young for sure, way too young for me, yet I couldn’t stop fantasizing about her. 

It started with very innocent little thoughts about how I would accidently drag my fingertips over her creamy white skin when she passed me by, while catching a whiff of her flowery perfume, or even drag my finger through her soft golden curls. Sometimes I’d even play with the thought of kissing her glossy lips, and taste the same slippery tongue that spat out the most vulgar things. It was impossible to just stay at that, as I quickly started to dream about having her in my lap and touching her growing body. I dreamed about caressing her slender thighs, squeezing her cute little buttocks and of course cup my hands over her youthful firm breasts. You have probably realized at this point that it didn’t stop there either. It was only a matter of time before I thought of doing more to this little minx than just touching and kissing. I wondered if I would be her first, or if she had already fooled around with those boys she hung out with. I wondered what her deepest and darkest desires were, if she was as perverted as she seemed. I wondered if she was curious about the same little games as I was. Considering her young age, I could probably teach her a thing or two. The innocent little daydreams were slowly replaced by the most twisted and perverted fantasies a man could come up with. The curiosity grew to an obsession that couldn’t be tamed, no matter how much I tried to pleasure myself. Of course Magda was hardly of any help, as she kept rejecting my attempts to initiate intimacy with even bigger vigor than before.

With my growing desire I started to experience a faltering self restraint. Every time I saw her, my brain was filled with the darkest and most unholy thoughts. I had stopped wanting to comb through her angelic curls, instead I wanted to grab them and pull on them ‘til she whimpered. I had stopped wanting to just kiss her soft skin, I wanted to mark her as mine. I didn’t want to hold her, I wanted to restrain her. Every time she gave me her mischievous coy smile, the desire to seize her grew stronger. Going to work every day was both a pleasure and a pain, just knowing I’d have to look into her twinkling blue eyes. It had gotten to the point when people started to notice a change in my behavior. I went from being the happy reliable man they knew, to someone who seemed to snap at everything. When family and friends asked me what was wrong, I lied and told them that I just had a rough time at work. They didn’t have to know about my infatuation with a teenage girl. Of course those fools bought it without questions and even offered me support. The only thing I could do was to smile and gratefully take the kindness offered to me. Inside there still was a raging battle between human reason and primal desire. Initially my common sense stood on solid ground, but the more I saw her, the louder the cries of the animal within me. The worst part was that Bella seemed to know about the struggle I went through. Every time she caught me watching her, she gave me that coy smile. Even though summer turned to fall, she hardly stopped dressing inappropriately. If anything, my infatuation with her seemed to push her to choose the most revealing piece of clothing she owned. The pants hugged her nascent hips and cute little buttocks, the sight pulling me in like a moth to the flame. Of course she kept using her transparent white tops, revealing the color of her bra every time I threw a glance at her firm breasts. If she had started to wear tops with cleavage or started to use push up bras, I couldn’t tell, but for some reason her breasts seemed even more appetizing than usual. The pent up arousal often caused me to drive around with an almost painful erection in my pants. When I got to that point, I knew there would only be a matter of time before I snapped.

The breaking point came on a cold November afternoon, after three agonizing months that had brought me closer to the edge to madness. It started as any other route. I drove up to the school and opened the door for the tired kids and teenagers who wanted nothing else but to get home. Bella was the last onboard. Because of the chilly air, she was wearing a white jacket made of fake fur and a cute woolen headband. She took the front seat, as usual. Of course I took the chance to check her out a bit. That day she didn’t seem to notice me, being engrossed in a fashion magazine she had brought in her bag. I remember thinking that this might be a calm day. Nothing happened during the first ten minutes or so. Slowly but surely the bus grew emptier as I dropped off the kids one by one. Eventually there were only me, Bella and another girl whom I was supposed to drop off before Bella’s bus stop. It was when I stopped to let the other girl off, that I threw a glance in the rearview mirror and froze. Bella had unzipped her jacket and she was not wearing a bra. I could clearly see her tiny rock hard nipple press against the fabric in the most tempting way. I knew she had done this to tease me once again. She knew how much I desired her and played with me as if was her little toy. Anger and arousal filled my insides, and the dangerous combination made up my mind. Bella was not going home until I had my reward for my patience. Thus I didn’t stop to let her off by her house, which caused her to yell:

“What the fuck are you doing, geezer? This is my stop.”

“You are not going anywhere,”I said gravely as I looked at her through the rearview mirror. She stared at me with wide eyes, which made her look more like a child than the rebellious girl I knew.

“What?”she whimpered, sounding absolutely terrified. I couldn’t help but smile at the quivering little girl.

“Playtime is over, young lady,”I said.

“What the fuck are you talking about?”she said with a trembling voice.

“Oh, you know what I’m talking about,”I said in a hostile tone and drove on the road to my house. The bold move was only possible due to my wife’s temporary absence. Soon I reached our little red house and stopped the bus. I unbuckled and got up, before turning to Bella, who sat in a fetal position and stared at me in pure terror.

“Go to the house,”I ordered.

“Fuck no!”she spoke back, seeming to have gained some courage back. Tired of her stubbornness, I grabbed her by the hair and forcefully pulled her up from her seat, making her howl in pain.

“You don’t think I don’t know what you are doing?”I hissed at her. “Every fucking day I have to watch you, you little wench, with your slutty little clothes and your cocky attitude. One might as well think that you enjoy the attention from men like me.”

“What the fuck?”she yelled, in both confusion and pain. “You’re sick! As if I’d want to fuck your sandpaper dry ass, old creep!”

Those words of defiance made me see red. Not only had she dared to tease me, seduce me, lure me to her like a mermaid lures a sailor into the dark abyss, but she had the gut to deny any of this? As if she was as prudish as any of her peers. Everyone knew what a little slut she was. With an even firmer grip of her hair I dragged her with me into the house, while she cried and begged for mercy. Her pleadings fell on deaf ears, as I was determined to give the little whore what she deserved. As I opened the door to my house, I threw roughly into the floor. She tried to get up and flee, but was subdued with a few punches to her face. Before she woke up, I swiftly grabbed a tape roll to make sure that she definitely wouldn’t be able to run away. Once finished, I picked up her unconscious body and carried her to my workshop in the basement. There I carefully laid her on the floor, before hurrying upstairs to drive the bus back to its garage. When I finally was in the car on my way home, it was with adrenaline pumping through my veins and a rock hard cock straining against my pants. Knowing that Bella was waiting for me at home made me drive way over the speed limit. When I reached the house, I hurried back into the basement where I was greeted by Bella’s horrified expression. Without restraining myself even once, I ripped her clothes off and used her tiny little body for my filthy desires. While she wept and begged me to stop, I moaned with pleasure as I fucked her with a beastly force. Never in my life had I ever been this aroused and never had I experienced a stronger orgasm. During the coming hours I seized her body several times, satisfying my needs over and over again.

Once I was done, I realized the predicament I was in. My wife was going to come home that evening, and Bella’s parents had most likely already filed a report at the police due to Bella’s disappearance. Letting her go was not an option, as she would most likely tell everything as soon as she got the chance. That would be the end of me. Sure, I could keep her in the basement as my little plaything. However, my wife would probably get suspicious if I disappeared into the basement more often than usual. That left me with only one option. I stood up, leaving Bella’s battered body on the floor. The poor little thing was still groaning in pain, as she was covered in bruises and scratch marks. The floor underneath her was stained with blood. When I pulled my gaze away from her, I saw the knife on my working desk. That gave me the most demonic idea. It was sad that I had to get rid of her, but at least I could keep a part of her forever, both as a memory and a trophy. Slowly I grabbed the knife and knelt next to her. She only made a soft whimper as I caressed her hair and placed the knife right under her left boob.

“I’m sorry, Bella,”I whispered softly, pressing the sharp edge into the soft flesh. “But there is no other way.