Find me in the stars

Stars are exceptionally bright tonight might be because of a clear sky. Not a cloud is visible. 

"Grandma, I miss you." A tear slipped out of my eye. 

-

"Ella, what have you done, you little trouble maker?!" My grandma asked me playfully and started to laugh after she saw the state I am in, that being me covered in mud. It rained the previous day, therefor my grandma's yard was full of muddy puddles. And me being a five-year-old rascal, decided to jump on each and every one of them. 

"Sorry, granny!" I apologized even though I was well aware nothing serious will happen to me. Well, maybe I will get a scolding from my mom for troubling grandma. 

"Come here, sweetie! Let's make a warm bubbly bath for you." Grandma said with a big smile on her face. I will never understand how she never manages to get exhausted because of me. 

-

"Grandma, where is grandpa?" My little self didn't know any better than question something when I didn't understand. Even if I opened the old wounds of my grandma with that question, was I able to understand it at such a young age? No. 

"Your grandpa...come with me, I will show you." She took me to her yard and we stood in the middle of it. It was late at night, the sky now completely dark and full of mesmerizing stars and a big round moon. 

"Look up, Ella." Grandma told me and I listened. 

"Why are we looking up at the stars? Grandpa isn't a star." I turned my confused eyes towards grandma and waited for an explanation. How can he be a star? Aren't stars far far away? My mom often talks to me about them.  

"Oh, sweetie, but he is. And one day I will be a star too. That is when I will be with your grandpa again." Her voice had a dash of sadness in it, though there was also love. It confused me even more.

"Really?! Granny, can I be a star too? Pretty please!" Little legs of mine started to jump excitedly. Then I can shine, and everyone will see me!

"Of course you can, Ella! But don't trouble your pretty little head with that just yet. The time will come." 

-

"Grandma, did you see my teddy bear? I think I lost it." Tears prickled in my eyes. That was the last thing my dad gave me before he left. 

"What bear honey? Is it the blue one?" As she approached me, she noticed tears streaming down my cheeks. 

"Oh, pumpkin, don't worry, we will find your bear. Maybe you left it in the yard." Her voice was filled with worry and all because of my now seven-year-old self. I am quite forgetful and clumsy so no surprise I lost something again. Regardless, we proceeded towards the yard, and there was my bear, in one of the itchy bushes. 

"Grandma, my bear has a torn eye, and his left hand is barely attached to his body." My vision began to get blurry from all the tears that escaped my already puffy eyes. 

"I can sew it, Ella. After all, I'm not a grandma for nothing, now am I?" 

-

"Ella, what are you doing?" What was else to be expected from a grandma watching a fifteen-year-old girl using all this modern technology? 

"I am taking a selfie grandma. Care to join me?"

"And what is that selfie of yours?"

"Come here. I will show you." I waited for her to get up from her rocking chair. Time sure didn't have any mercy on her. Nevertheless, she is still strong for a woman her age. 

"Okay, I'm here. Now show me that technology of yours. All this 'fancy' things of yours are sometimes unnecessarily complicated. What for do you even need that? When I was your age, we communicated with letters, and it was more than enough. And we would see each other at school or work."

"Grandma, grandma... it is what it is. Now, would you like to take a picture of us?" She nodded a little unsure but extended her hand, and I gave her my phone. As she was about to take a photo, my phone slipped out of her hands. AND DROPPED ON THE FLOOR! 

"Grandma, I thought I was the clumsy one!" I gasped like it was that big of a deal and bent down to pick up my hopefully alive phone. 

"Oh, Ella, I am so, so sorry! I will buy you a new phone, I promise!" She panicked, however, I was quick to calm her down, showing her my non harmed phone. I knew I shouldn't have laughed, but her face was priceless when she saw my as-new phone. 

-

"Ah, memories...they are able to control our emotions at any time. It will either uplift your mood like ice cream or bring it down like a bad grade."

-

"Honey, your grandma is sick." It was a normal day, just like every other. This was so out of nowhere. 

"What do you mean she is sick? Mom?" 

"She might not make it. I'm sorry, pumpkin." 

"No, mom, stop joking! It is NOT funny!" She came to me and hugged me but I trashed in her arms. NO! This can't be the truth. 

"Honey, shhh...everything will be alright." Tears were streaming down on both our faces. Why is she crying if everything will be okay? Why is she lying to me?

"But, but...what am I going to do without her?" I have no one but my mom and grandma. I don't want to stay all alone in this cruel world. Why so sudden?

-

"Grandma, how are you feeling? Does anything hurt? Do you need anything?" Why just why, must she be the one to go through all this? As if it wasn't enough that I lost my dad already. 

"Ella, I am just fine, stop worrying so much." Her tone was a little bit harsh, but I know she just wants me to be happy. 

"You are expecting a bit too much from me, you know." I smiled apologetically. She knows I can't help it. She was the one that raised me this way, she and my mom. Mom and I stayed with her for a while, talked about random things just to kill the time. I would come to grandma every day, and she would scold me for neglecting my school duties, but I couldn't care less. It was a sunny Sunday, and I couldn't imagine this was THE day. I didn't want to... 

"Honey, if my time has come, then be it. You know how much I miss your grandpa." The sparkles in her eyes were noticeable and at that moment I realised this is what she wanted, this is what she waited for, for years. All of a sudden, I heard a beeping sound and few doctors entered the room.

"You have to leave the room this instant!" One of the doctors said calmly, although I was nowhere to calm. Nonetheless, mom and I left the room. I don't know how much time has passed. Then, the doctor came out and...

"I'm sorry. There wasn't anything we could do. But your grandma wanted you to have this. My condolences." Mom and I broke down in tears. The doctor handed me a letter. I opened it, and it read:

My dearest Ella

Pumpkin, if you are reading this, it means I left for good. Don't be sad, I am at a better place now. I love you and your mom a whole lot, and I miss you already. But you two have to continue living your own life, even if it's without me. Find yourselves boyfriends or something, don't be all grumpy all the time. Right now, I am finally reunited with my one and only love. My strength is slowly giving up, so this letter won't be that long don't worry. Back to my point. You, my dear, filled my lonely days with laughter and smiles. So, thank you for that. You knew how to make a mess yet, somehow, that's what kept me going because you reminded me of young me. Even if you can't see me anymore, that doesn't mean I'm not here. I will always be with you, in your heart and your memories. If you have a desire to see me one last time, then tonight watch the stars. I will be the one that shines the brightest. Your grandpa and I will watch over you so make sure to not get in troubles. This is my last goodbye, Isabella. 

-

"But I can't seem to find the brightest of the stars. Huh, hopefully, grandma didn't accidentally refer to the sun. Ah, what am I saying, she said to wait until tonight." I smiled and patiently waited for that one particular star. There must be some catch or something so when people die they get so say their last LAST goodbye. O, is that HER? Grandma?

"Oh, grandma, is that you? Well, for starters, hello. I miss you already but don't worry. I am not as sad as before. I know you are happy with grandpa, it's a shame I didn't get to meet him. He must be an awesome man. I love you. Goodbye, granny." I waved to her, bright smile prominent on my face. My eyes crinkled a bit, not that I minded. 

Hmm, her star took the old brightness. Oh, wait! Is that a shooting star?!