The Sacrifice in Forever

I looked at my best friend Paul in his large radioactive protection suit standing across the room. It would be a long time until I could see him again face to face. A long time until I could fistbump him in the lab after a discovery. A long time until I could hug him without a protective suit. I could see tears falling down his face inside of the suit. 

We had been best friends working together on radioactive isotopes for years. Eventually, after years of hard work together on engineering nuclear power, I told him my secret. I was a vampire. But Paul didn’t seem to mind. I had been shocked. He had just nodded and said, “that explains a lot". We joked about his reaction in the coming months. How he had just sternly nodded his head, spoke, then went back to his work. 

I could feel tears streaming down my face as I looked at Paul. He had been my first friend I ever told. After Paul’s reaction, I had become braver and had worked up the courage to tell our boss as well. My boss, instead of being horrified, thought it was the coolest thing in the world. Again the shock had come in. Paul had come with me and stood in the back of the room as I told him. I had heard him quietly chuckle as my boss’s eyes lit up with excitement.

My boss had then explained the reason for his excitement after he saw my shocked face. I was immortal. I couldn't get sick. I wouldn’t age and instead would watch the others progress around me. I would go on to see more scientific and technological advancements than any of them ever would. I would see people change the world after he was buried 6 feet under. I could almost hear him saying, “You still have a job to do. Fortunately, because of your situation, you have guaranteed success. You will see the future we strive toward. For that, you should be grateful.”

I had known from the moment I was bitten that all of the things he spoke of would happen but I had never really looked at it in front of me. I would watch the people around me that I loved grow old and die while I look the same and go on living. But I was willing to go through the pain of loving someone and losing them if it meant I could better the world I live in. 

The world around me was in desperate need of power. A power source that was hard to run out of; a source that could fuel rockets and bring men and women to the stars. Something that was disposable easily but generated enough power to run a city. As a scientist, I worked on plutonium with Paul. We were trying to figure out a way to use Plutonium-241 as fuel with little nuclear waste. Plutonium-241 has a smaller half-life meaning we could eliminate more nuclear waste if we could find a way to make it work as fuel. 

We had been having trouble finding a solution that would fit within the bounds of what we could do in our lab. Safety gear was required to protect us and the equipment was expensive. We had spent months in the lab trying different techniques and working through the problems again and again. We looked at different elements, different isotopes, different combinations, different compounds, nothing was working with our resources and requirements.

In my head, as Paul and I were working I had come up with a theory. If I couldn’t get sick I could, theoretically, handle the plutonium without all of the safety equipment. Breathing in the plutonium wouldn’t give me cancer nor would touching it burn my skin. I was medically dead. My heart didn’t beat and I didn’t have to breathe. I could handle the plutonium and describe to Paul what was happening. I could give him readings from the other side of the glass. I could do the experiments we needed to

The only problem with plutonium was, it is not fast to decay. It would take roughly 15 years for the plutonium to fully leave my system after 1 exposure. I would have to be in quarantine away from everyone for 15 years. Seeing as I was immortal I was ok with making that sacrifice, but 15 years without seeing Paul. That’s what saddened me. That’s what caused the tears streaming down my face. Knowing I wouldn’t see his wedding. Knowing I wouldn’t get to see his kids grow up. Knowing I would miss the very things I wasn’t going to get to experience because of me being a vampire.

When I had first proposed the idea to Paul he had been excited as I was that we were finally going to solve the puzzle we had been trying to for years. Then we realized what that meant. After that, it was a fight. The first actual fight we had in the 5 years working together as partners. 

I could remember the words I had spoken as I looked at Paul, face to face for the last time for the next 15 years. The argument had gone on and on. In the end, we came to a compromise but I could see what it cost Paul to agree with it at all. We compromised and said I would handle the material once. Once. If I handled the plutonium on multiple occasions I would end up in the complex for longer than 15 years. And on the condition, I would wear a mask while directly handling it. So as me breathing in the particles would have a smaller effect. I could see how hard it was for him to let me do it at all so I agreed and brought the proposal to our boss along with the stipulations from Paul.

So here we are now. Standing in a room with Paul in a radiation protection suit while I am at the entrance to the complex I would be staying in for the next 15 years. I was prepared with tools inside the complex that I would use to work with the plutonium. 

I looked at Paul. I told him everything I wished I had said sooner. He was like my brother I had never had. We laughed at the threatening tone in my voice when I told him I expected visits, phone calls, and pictures of him and his future wife and kids. I gave him one last hug.

Even with the protection suit on for his safety in the vicinity of the plutonium I could feel his shoulders shake as he cried. I could feel my tears make contact with his suit. I could feel his heart beating. I savored the moment. I knew it would be 15 years until I would feel it again. I had a feeling Paul wasn’t going to let go unless I did so I let go. I stepped back. I tried my best to smile then I turned and walked into the complex. I knew I had a job to do so to begin I took the first step. I got one shot and I was going to make it count.