My extraordinary bourgeois lifestyle cause célèbre changing circumstances

Adulation commencement begat unexpectedly late in life, and continues to this date - September 27th, 20xx. The following "FAKE" prevarication elaborated, embellished, expounded... before being trumpeted as lame excuse for pulp fiction.

Ever since initial debut (jumble of skinny arms and legs sliding and slipping down Harriet Harris berth canal out the womb) on that unforgettably brutally cold Friday January 13th, 19xx unusual fatuous fanfare arose for this common male. An arduous and complicated denouement purportedly contributed to subsequent feckless inchoate misdeeds. The frenzied buzzfeeding fame unparalleled any similar and rivaled newborn, (yes even Jesus Christ superstar of Bethlehem) in the annals of any mortal. Unbeknownst to assigned obstetrician, nothing appeared amiss with lovely bag of bones birthed.

An exceptionally ordinary post natal parturition continued even as much younger version of yours truly obliviously blithely... passed thru infancy. Nothing remarkable evinced, nor any outstanding feature gave pause for family, friend, nor stranger to do a double take. Those former days, weeks, months..., glommed, forged, developed... inchoate, pensive, intuitive, contemplative... nature. Eventually (approximately kindergarten age) a quiet natured demeanor define his (my) boyhood being. Solitude with unusually pronounced circumspection generated excitement when meditative poise assumed.

Automatic physical prowess bequeathed this then child to exhibit amazing yogic postures. Though no computer technology linkedin society, thy atypical spirituality in tandem evinced incredible physical flexibility. Please do not even ask me to cross legs Indian style! Despite rumors getting predominantly bruitted courtesy word of mouth information retain doggone bonafide accuracy. Nonetheless communication housed strong speculation regarding presence of near visible halo. A palpable aura, charisma, karma credit..., seemed to kindle, kickstart, tinder..., gentle magnetic radiance. Much to initial doubt qua chagrin nonplussed state an understatement summarily describing parent's reaction.

Documentation (long since digitally archived) concerning mom and dad can still be accessed and validated. Anyway, thine papa much less cynical then than now. Calm cool and collected could hardly due justice being recipient of such benevolent news. I presume they felt awkward, (albeit pleasant surprised), when notified courtesy Dalai Lama. At that time mid sixties (Lhamo Thondup, then Tibetan Buddha) unwittingly, telepathically, surprisingly... connected with me across thousands of miles. Pitch perfect environment (i.e. high amidst Himalayas) quite thee trek this then garden variety lad got safely escorted, whereby curious neighbors along Lantern Lane, Audubon became most curious rubberneckers every last one of them!

As an apprentice good n plenti leisure hours allowed, enabled, and provided all the time within world for lad (din his seventh heaven) to tease out and appease hunger for zen sub bull splendid Mazel Tov philosophical rumination. Ponder away I did!

Passive renegade lifestyle (enriched from the panoply produced from baptism via literary pleasures) spawned vivid imagination. Progressive liberal authors zeroed within my unquenchable thirst to acquire enlightenment. Prestigious works of literature represented recalcitrant dogma of yours truly, whose karma credit totally reliant on thy carpe diem intellectual vice. Deliberate private employment/pseudo on the job lifetime training strengthened, galvanized, bolstered... completely unlike that markedly hooligan doppelganger as existentially incorrigible, and academically irredeemable. No matter both self and supposedly evil twin by product quickly, expeditiously, conveniently... "lost" in the outer limits of twilight zone. We both woke, whereby voracious to acquire knowledge dawned early during our respective childhood. Hereon in the focus will be prodigal son. He packed an immense cerebral space aching, beckoning, calling... to assimilate knowledge. Frequent foray into fortress size private library served insatiable appetite to become mentally empowered. Unnecessary to underscore subsequent frequent jaunts to visit within world of books. Aspiration to surrender mine soul among accumulated learning pacified ambidextrous two handed pacifist. Hence

mein kampf bathed with endless intellectual fancy feasts. Ever questing to enrich corporeal essence did now and again invite opportunities to disseminate i.e. share personal learning among the general public. Many people sought awakening (self actualization) basking within assiduous advocacy for basic freedom. Innate appetite regarding autonomy flickering amidst nascent democratic ideas. No surprize exuberance sustained hermetically sealed existence, yet occasionally calling involved quelling civilian unrest. State military always at the ready to aim and fire live ammunition toward so called (purported) rebel rousers. Unspoken obeisance to omnipotent authoritarianism (also known as Winnie the grand pooh bah in the press to tamp, muffle, downplay... any fracas among young and restless) required exhausting effort. Twas after pandemonium tempered, yours truly sought hiatus. Actually reanimation, rejuvenation, restoration... of vitality kickstarted courtesy solitude. Peace of mind, body and spirit triad always materialized at optimal moment. Recourse to prolonged isolation never questioned while this modest guru spent hours, days, weeks...engrossed, enmeshed, ensconced... among literary tomes.

Tangential to amassing wealth of learning, a lesser broadcasted ambition involved how to define circling the square traveling back in time and infiltrating the complex edifice of regular anyman. How, you may inquire to accomplish such a stunt? Easy as... why bribing oneself into an Ivy League School! Just hitch yourself as stowaway within rocketship ready to launch. Hijack (previously mastering lojack mechanism), lyft athletically trained body into cozy nook. Best to slink into hideaway once countdown commenced after trick out lyft off. After takeoff hold motley crue hostages (comprising domestic smart pets ), and jaunt to nearest black hole, and plunge (nestea like) into the wormhole. Presto! Yes, popping out the other end without a hitch mystifying feat would mandate not drawing suspicion, nor eliciting questions while commingling, fellowshipping, interacting... with uber generic folks. One extremely fascinating figurative turning point? The American Civil War epoch constituted an especially poignant era of significant interest. Whether viewing well researched documentary (think Ken Burns), reading biographies and/or apropos historical fiction literary historical asper said genre, or participating within reenactments also held particularly inestimable interest within mine fountain head, which noggin analogously heavy as globe atlas shrugged.

Now commences recollection housing one such escapade after stealing myself within secret hatch, where enigmatic majestic, totemic... stood sleek scientific inspiration made manifest, i.e. the unquestionably, lovely, gloriously... proud and tall uber voyager at Cape Connive Rill.

Mental preoccupations triggered a most serious syndrome of writer’s block, which unwanted thoughts conspired to impinge on literary purpose. Now hunched over and positioned to record in electronic diary, a sudden plethora of mind gripping impotence besieged ordinarily creative prosaic resources and stymied an attempt to record peremptorily adventurous finale with twenty first century life. I comfortably (benumbed) ensconced this light weight Yankee in a faux leather business easy chair (similarly equipped with technological wizardry), and replaced these bespectacled closed, tired eyes with protective ocular goggles, and reclined seating appurtenance at an angle parallel to the floor. After an instantaneous interval of mere fractions of seconds or minutes, a blinding flash indicated that space-age contrivance approached speed of light, which pure energy form accompanied with surrealistic kaleidoscope of brilliant and spectacular colors, which virtual phenomena quite visible even with protective gear donned over entire head. Soon cessation of warp speed ceased with nary audible clue, and total darkness descended. Awareness (although entire corporeal being still remained held in semi-unconscious state) provoked gradual wakefulness to occur. Nerve endings began to tingle and twitch and freedom to move limbs triggered reflex to arise and stand up on firm ground. While adrift in deep, profound and tranquil sleep (which seemed to encompass more than a century), an undetectable transformation quietly, softly, and subtly jettisoned me from the here and now to the flux of events awash mid eighteen hundred America. Prior to waking from hypnotic, trancelike state (populated with exquisite and psychedelic dreams nearly true to realistic personages) held me spellbound. Eons seemed to elapse before I reached prefigured destination Lower Merion circa 18xx.

Ah... such pleasant sleep flush with midsummer night's dreams. Without further ado about nothing after twelfth night cooped up within encapsulated pod, I (this self anointed King Lear) headed toward the shade offered from a large tree. Soon after comfortably seating this limber and slender physique in the Yoga lotus asana, I reached inside the knapsack (kept close to my person since the initial embarkation) and began to read a book within the genre of national conflict that rent asunder and nearly tore the fledgling roots of democracy from this continent. A collection of ordinary looking folk immediately queried per the happenstance that found me in the country of Philadelphia circa eighteen hundred and blank (plus or minus a couple years). They asked innocuous divergent questions at first mainly because exquisite personal apparel, profound wisdom and worldly knowledge appeared more sophisticated than found in this rural locale. Unsure to affix the label of foe or friend, (whereby potential death versus life respectively hung in the balance), a series of incisive (rapid-fire) inquisition conducted sessions scrutinized whether sympathies supported northern (Union) or southern (Confederate) cause.

After cogent and convincing answers to topical and typical inquiries satisfied idle spur of the moment probe (bred from versatility in the arts of debate and rhetoric) reassured motley crew of revulsion against rebellion south of Mason Dixon line, the focus of dialogue turned to opinions regarding fiery abolitionist movement afoot and hot button issue of slavery. Although confident and possessed with intuitive sense that no harm prevailed, I gave measured pause prior to uttering commentary on this controversial and volatile issue. Awareness incorporated a composite host of irony. 1. Fount of knowledge amassed from poring over treatises that dissected antebellum and postbellum America surpassed most learned statesperson in newfound context. 2. Purview about such vast wealth of information needed to be held in check. 3. Accent (more accurately local dialect), and English language (presumed mother tongue) usage somewhat dissimilar among commoners separated by approximately half dozen generations distant from each other. Rather than appear extremely talented with excessive oratorical skill (as if ranked as some supernal being), which vulnerability and weakness (served role of good stead in former existence) would necessitate some prevarication to substantiate highfalutin and pseudo-scholarly flair, I spoke in recognizable and short sentences. In the event a Freudian slip occurred, a quick thinking riposte already filed away to rescue me from a faux pas.I quickly learned that hundreds if not thousands of speeches planned to be delivered in the interim. Nonetheless, a self-conscious predilection per demeanor as introverted (hence discomfiture predisposed) individual plus minor congenital mutation (identified as submucous cleft palate) frequently conspire to induce bouts of nervousness and contributed to exacerbate uncontrollable psychic plagues of anxiety characterized by panic attacks. Despite internal agitation, the approving crowds predictably and uproariously applaud excoriations denouncing the glaring shame of human bondage. Wow! Once in a lifetime opportunity awoke with prestigious orators of the day. Element of quiet natured defiance (reflected from ambient aura of this generally peace oriented fellow) lent offertory from the radical clique of self-righteous protesters as William Lloyd Garrison, Arthur and Lewis Tappan, and others who formed the American Anti-Slavery Society in Philadelphia. They cordially welcomed amiable yet dynamic hortatory speeches. Regular broadsides regularly published and described in graphically violent (mainly to communicate and emphasize misery) heart wrenching, vivid illustrations the horrors of this bloody institution. Other magnanimous personages to enjoin colloquy, voiced and wrote for betterment of dark skinned brethren included Susan B. Anthony, Maria W.Chapman, Wendell Phillips and John Greenleaf Whittier. Even freed and fugitive slaves (Anthony Burns and Frederick Douglas to mention just two outstanding names) complemented and supplemented the mosaic of ardent vocalizations. John Brown wished the addition of much lamer personality (none other than yours truly) to help incite imbroglio at Harper’s Ferry. Prognostication foretold of utter defeat and disaster and loss of ringleader and sons, which death filled notion prompted polite disinclination.