“Can you keep a secret?” General Laser’s voice crackled over the comm. Comrade Blast replied with his ever bright voice, “Sir, yes Sir!” With that he heard a loud ringing through the comm. It didn’t sound good at all. “General, do you copy?” he asked. There was no response. Only a faint ringing in his earpiece. Then silence, as that ringing also drowned out. “General Laser, do you copy? Come in General, this is Comrade Blast.” Still, nothing. It had to be the worst. Command had been taken down. But how could it be. Blast could not process anything. He looked around the field. Soldiers were falling left, right and center. The enemy fire was too much. He looked down at the ammunition stock. It was dwindling fast. He thought of advancing, but he didn’t have enough to take down the enemy destroyer. Plus, without Command guiding him, he wouldn't be able to navigate through the field anyway.
Blast thought about the General. He had been something of a father figure to him. Picked him off the streets, helped provide for him. He had trained Blast in combat, and taught him math. The General had been twice the man he would ever hope to be. And a father when his biological one had abandoned him. He owed everything to Laser. And Laser had given him everything he could hope for. Including a lover, in the form of Laser’s only child, Excimer. Excimer Laser was the reason Blast was on the battlefield now. He wanted to prove to the General that he was worthy of claiming Excimer’s hand in marriage. He wanted to come back a hero, and then make the General aware of their relationship.
He couldn’t do that though, if he died on the battlefield. There was no hope of penetrating the enemy base now. Also, he hoped that the General was alive. He hoped the same about Excimer, who was also stationed at Command, along with his father. Blast decided to retreat, calling his squad to follow him, and make their way through the battlefield, back to Command. They ducked and ran, under cover of darkness. Four of the ten got hit on their way. Blast tried to save them but it was too late. He wondered why he was even going to Command. “Would there even be anything left? Even if Command still stands, what if the enemy is waiting for us?” he wondered as he approached the foothills. The roads would not be safe, he figured. They had to make the climb to the walled fortress.
“Comrade Black and Comrade White, please work together and guard our backs as we ascend. Only if you stay united and active, can we successfully make it up to top.” Blast ordered the two most critical soldiers on his team. “Comrades Goal, Grunt and Smart, let’s go!” With that they started to make their way. They heard firing at a distance. Suddenly, everything fell quiet. Blast turned around and saw down the slope. Only darkness. He took a deep breath. Closed his eyes for a second, then opened them and barked, “Alright, we can’t afford to mourn right now. They are probably fine.” Just as they started to climb back up the hill, he heard it. The blast echoed in their ears as they felt the heatwaves rise up the hills. The smoke was intoxicating. “Go Go GO!” yelled Blast as they sloppily scrambled up the hill to the tall walls. “I know a secret way in.” he whispered to his three remaining soldiers. He and Excimer would often use it to sneak out of command, late at night to go into the town for evenings of revelry and romance.
Bodies and blood lay all around. The air smelled foul and it was cold as they made their way into Command. The four walked towards Central. “Goal and Grunt, flank the sides and provide cover as Smart and I enter. Smart, shoot the enemy at sight!” ordered Blast. With that they stormed into Central. Seconds felt like hours. Everything went by in slow motion from that point on, yet Blast begged for more time.
From the corner of his eye, he saw Smart get hit and collapse to the floor. He focused his eyes on the shooters in front. With his firearm he took out two that flanked the enemy leader, General Twist. They fell to the floor, but Twist stood tall, unshaken. He heard Goal and Grunt scream as they fell. Someone was behind them too. It had been an ambush. With all his strength, he pointed the firearm at Twist. He would at least die a martyr. As he put his finger on the clicker, he felt a sharp pain on his shin. Before he could shoot, Blast felt his body unwillingly collapse to the floor. His firearm dropped.
He looked at his leg. The shrapnel had busted his leg completely. Then he became acutely aware of the pain that ran down his spine. He had been hit from behind too. He coughed and spat out blood. It was over. Twist walked over slowly. Blast’s vision now started to blur. He was however aware of another figure walking towards him, behind Twist. He recognized this man. It couldn't be. “I must be delusional.” he mumbled and spat out some more blood. “I assure you, Son, you are not. And I am truly sorry. But you left me no choice.” The man who made Blast everything he stood before him. “What, how? General!” squealed Blast. “Our side lost the war long before this battle started. History is being made, I wanted to be on the side that survives to write it. You could have been too. ” echoed the calm voice of General Laser.
“Never! So this was your secret. How could you?” cried Blast. The General chuckled, “No. This was not my secret.” Blast asked wryly, “Then what?” The General walked over and kneeled beside him. “No Son, I would have let you in on this. I would have asked you to join me. That was the plan, I would form an alliance with General Twist and take you and Excimer with me. Until I found out about you and Excimer. Foolish boy, did you really think I would let you marry my Son?” Blast felt the air in his lungs empty. He was barely coherent at this point. “The secret, Comrade Blast, is that I only sent you to that suicide mission to get rid of you, so you wouldn’t bother Excimer anymore!” declared Laser. “Exx I Meerr will never forgive y y yoo!” gasped Blast. “Don’t be so sure, lover” echoed a voice he could not mistake even on the brink of death. He felt the presence behind him walk closer. The man who had taken out his soldiers. The man who shot him in the back towered over him. Blast turned his head, and in his last breath looked directly into the eyes of the man he would die for, the only man he had ever loved. “You were only entertainment, dear. And Daddy and I will now find a new life. “ smiled Comrade Excimer.
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2 comments
Wow. That was an interesting twist. I certainly did not expect that ending. There's a good amount of drama and anticipation in this story, and I really like how you gave that buildup and threw us for a loop out of left field. However, it does feel a bit watered down. The concepts and ideas are there, but they lack the detail to really bring the reader in. There were a couple moments where I was confused on what was going on. For instance, when he looked behind him and saw nothing but darkness. Was it an earthquake? A moratar shell? Did they...
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Thank you for your feedback. I really appreciate the time and thought you put into it. I agree it could use some more depth and polish. Perhaps I should not right at the literal eleventh hour. Giving some time buffer and maybe a couple iterations might help. I will go through it again and try and revise it. Thanks again. :)
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