Time for Sustenance

Something woke me, not sure what it was but it was enough to stir me from sleep. I shuffle slowly to the kitchen, my vision still blurry from sleep. I take a few steps before I find myself free falling to the floor. Something had tripped me.

I land with a thud and a moan. "What on earth?" I roll to my side and find myself face to face with Scott, my cat.

He stares at me. His yellow eyes are the only thing visible. His black fur blending in the darkness of the dimly lit kitchen.

"Scott!" I groan. "Watch it."

"Do you not know what time it is?"

I freeze, I am either dreaming or crazy. Possibly both. "Did my cat just ask me what time is it?" I say aloud. Scott just blinks slowly, his tail flicks as he stands to walk around me.

"I have been waiting hours for you to awaken. Finally, I realized that if I did not take matters into my own paws, you may never awaken, resulting in my slow death from starvation."

I eye him. "Scott... you are far from starvation." I ignore the fact that my cat is talking to me and just play into this dream.

Scott stops; he turns his head towards me. His eyes trail down my body and back to my eyes. "Let us not pretend that you and I are not alike Susan."

I blinked quickly at that. I realize I still haven't moved off the floor.

"Now, we can resolve this issue quickly. Just fetch my food and I shall allow you to sleep for a few more hours. Or" He pauses and sits, licking a paw before continuing. "You can go back to bed without fetching my food, and I shall ensure that chaos will keep you from a peaceful rest."

I push myself up to sit. I glare at him. "Its four in the morning."

"And you're point would be what?"

We sat together on that cold kitchen floor for what seemed like an hour just staring at each other. I growled but pulled myself up. I grabbed the scoop and dribbled a layer of food into his bowl.

"You expect me to survive till dawn on that piddle amount?"

Frustrated and tired I just pour the whole scoop into the bowl; pieces of kibble fall on the floor out of the bowl. But I don't care. I want my sleep.

"There." I say simply. I throw the scoop back into the bin and begin to walk back to bed.

"Thank you, Susan this shall satisfy my hunger till dawn arrives. I will join you shortly. It's almost time for your daily clawcupuncture."

I sigh and shut the door. "Not today Scott. Not today" I crash back down into the bed. I am not convinced I wasn't dreaming. I'm just about to doze off again when I feel a sharp prick in my back. I feel a weight shift on me.

"How did you get in here?!"

Scott yawns and continues his work. "You didn't latch the door; it was a simply matter of throwing myself at it. Really Susan, you should be more grateful for what I do for you. On my way in here I noticed a menacing looking box on the desk. Do not fear. I made sure it was dead. Its guts have been scattered so it will not come back to life."

I groan again. "Scott... that was a box of paper clips."

"Menacing paper clips. A danger to you really. I saved your life and still you are not appreciative."

I have no words. I close my eyes and try to block out the sound of purring in my ear and claws now in my shoulders. At some point I manage to drift back off to sleep.

The next morning, I jolt upright. I hear it, that dreaded sound. I quickly jump out of bed and look to the foot of it. There on the floor is Scott, hacking up a hairball. He gags and out it comes.

"Scott!" I run to grab cleaning supplies. "Gross man."

"I save you the work of grooming me Susan, I think you can deal with the side effects."

I blink. "You did talk to me..."

"Susan, you really need to stop stating the obvious, its honestly probably why you are still single." He flicks his tail up like a beacon and walks out of the room. I snarl after him.

"Probably why you are still single." I mock.

After I have finished cleaning the mess, get dressed, and have fixed my hair. I make my way out to the kitchen to make a bowl of cereal and coffee. I sit down at the table, opening my phone and propping it again the milk to watch the news as I eat. I turn back to my food and to my horror, there is Scott.

He doesn't even look at me as he sticks his paw into my bowl of cereal, his toe beans dripping with milk as he raises it to his tongue and licks them. "You are safe Susan. It is not poisoned."

"SCOTT! Gross! Now I have to get a new bowl! Come on." I grumble and throw the cereal away for a new bowl.

"I risked my life to ensure you did not die, and you call me gross?"

"You walk in litter where you go to the bathroom. I don't wanna eat that Scott, now that's poison."

Scott just growls and walks away.

I finished my breakfast in surprising peace. I have a few moments before I leave for work. I grab my keys, my purse, and my lunch bag. I stand at the door to leave and look around for Scott.

"SCOTT?" I call. "I'm leaving for work. I'll be back this evening."

"Again, with stating the obvious Susan. Goodbye, you shall not be missed."

I hear him call from the bedroom. No doubt cleaning himself on my pillow. I smile with a headshake as I walk out the door.

I love that goofy cat.