Small Dark Flowers

Addi knew she was dreaming. It wasn’t the quality of what she was seeing, or even a disconnect. She felt quite solidly in her own room, staring into her mirror and arranging her hair. Up, with a circling braid and small dark flowers in the cross sections. But there was a sense — one she felt more often then she maybe liked — that this was a fabrication. So she ruled two things quickly and soundly. First, if it were a dream, she didn’t believe she could be hurt. For a time she had no need of fear.

The second was that there was something to see.

This feeling didn’t always come in dreams, but it did come to her, as a heaviness in her blood. The weighty glut made her stop and consider things anew. But she didn’t know what she was looking for, now or ever, and she was beginning to find it frustrating.

She finished with her hair and studied herself in the mirror. It was a formal arrangement. She wondered what the point of that was. It was formal, but not decadent. Perhaps somber? There was a muteness to the room, as if sound had stopped. In the dream state, she stood and went to the window.

From here she could see for a great distance over plains. That was odd, since her home was surrounded by low-lying mountains. But here were clearly plains, with gold swaying grasses and shimmering air. Birds flew south. She looked below, and—

Addi woke up in her bed all at once. Her hair was in tumbles about her face, and the room was dark. Still early. Now she could hear the early twitter of birds just beginning to wake, tentatively whistling tunes. She pondered the dream, until her door flew open.

Sasala Isaela Lenessi came in, already dressed and looking like she had been for hours. She went to the windows and threw open the curtains, revealing more light than Addi expected. It wasn’t early; it seemed her lateness had prompted an unwanted visit from her mother.

“If you aren’t ready in five minutes, we will be late, and a laughingstock. Get up. Get dressed. And fix your hair.”

Addi responded by yawning and turning back into bed, despite feeling quite awake at this point. Soon the covers were pulled away and she was left shivering.

“Okay, I’m up! I’m up!” In the chaos of getting ready with her mother bearing over her, Addi righted herself from her dream. She was still at home, in a shallow valley of Daos. Today they were meant to travel to Palet Manor, where her grandparents were having a festival to celebrate an anniversary. She’d be forced to sit in a carriage with her parents and two kid siblings.

Altogether a lousy day.

“Mother,” Addi ventured, “I wanted to ask, could we stop to look at books at the temple?”

“What would you want to do that for?” Sasala responded.

“I want to look up information on dreams, and I already know we don’t have any books on dreams.”

“You have no gift,” her mother snapped, already deducing Addi’s thoughts. “I wish you’d stop bringing it up. People born with such talent have lineage in that line, and we have none of that. And we have no intention of having you sent out to study magic, so in all practicality you should stop with your delusions.”

Addi scrunched her nose up in protest, but wasn’t awake enough to argue, yet. She resolved to check her grandparents’ library. She hadn’t checked in Palet Manor yet, and her grandfather did read very extensively. Maybe she’d finally have some guidance to understand what things meant.

It wasn’t that she had ever predicted anything of supreme consequence. She hadn’t seen a tyrant toppled, or a natural disaster before it struck. But Addi had never been surprised by a single birthday present, and she had a habit of taking an umbrella on the brightest of days, only to come home in the rain. Addi had convinced herself of her gift. Her family was another question.

Except her grandfather. He believed in Addi, no matter what her goal. It would be good to see him today. He was perhaps the only person in her family who believed in her, and not just with the arcane. But he did agree that Addi was gifted, and for that she was grateful.

Her hair brushed up and back in a simple clasp, and wearing travel clothes that were bright but light, Addi made the journey to Palet Manor. It took most of the day, and she suffered the tediousness of the twins. It wasn’t that she hated her siblings. It was just they were young, and she was all but a young adult, and it made a difference.

When they arrived at Palet Manor, they were the first of the guests, as expected. Addi rushed up to her grandfather, greeting him warmly, but quickly moving to the matter that interested her.

“Grandfather, do you have books on dreams?”

“Dreams…” he said, thoughtfully. “Dreams… Well I have poems of the Moon Goddess, which speak artfully of dreams.”

“No,” Addi said, “I mean dreams of fortune.” She explained her dream quickly. Her grandfather nodded.

“You’ve certainly seen something, yes…” Her parents approached, and her grandfather winked at Addi. “Vesla, Sasala, welcome to the manor. I was just asking Addi to look for a book for me. I left it in the library. Should be on the east wall, second shelf, towards the… right?”

Addi nodded and excused herself from the family reunion. She’d have time to catch up with grandfather later. For now, there was a small mystery to solve. She knew the way to the library, and soon found the section her grandfather had indicated. There weren’t many books on the subject, but one — Seeing Dreams Become Life — looked intriguing, and Addi found herself engrossed.

Dreams, as far as premonitions went, required a great deal of interpretation, according to the book. Everything sounded vague. She couldn’t tell if the references to hair meant something to do with vanity (unlikely, though, as Addi didn’t consider herself as vain), good tidings, or difficulties ahead. She found nothing on plains. The birds in flight suggested freedom, she thought, which sounded wonderful. Addi wished to be free to do as she pleased more than anything. But she had responsibilities.

In the end, the book helped very little, except a small passage near the beginning:

“The early studier of dreams should best be equipped for a test of intuition. Often, we are too close to our own dreams for interpretation. But intuition is a guide that must be honed in order to excel. There is no other path.”

She wondered about how quiet the dream had been. Noticeably silent. That felt important. It was frustrating that the book didn’t have answers. She wondered if she could study with someone, if it would be different.

Addi took the book with her, along with two others that could be useful. Other guests were arriving, and her presence would be expected. She left the books in her room to study after the festivities and returned to her family.

She was happy to see her grandparents so happy. They had been together so many decades at this point, she wondered if she would ever find someone to match her life. What would that look like, she wondered? It was beyond her imagination. But seeing her grandparents toddle about a dance floor made her smile. They couldn’t move like they used to, but their smiles were the largest in the room.

A servant approached Addi when she was alone. He presented her an envelope, and she recognized her grandfather’s writing.

“The master of the house requests you read this when the time has passed.”

“What time?” Addi asked.

“He says you will know, but not to read until you are sure. Is it clear?”

It wasn’t, but Addi nodded. Her grandfather must have something planned, she thought. She tucked the letter away and gestured for the servant to return to his other duties. She was excited to see what her grandfather would do. He wasn’t anything like his daughter, Addi’s mother. Where she was strict and biting, he was loving and laughing.

But nothing occurred that night. The festivities went on as planned, with no surprises. She wondered if he was waiting until the next morning, but the thought seemed strange. Most of the guests would be gone. Addi felt troubled, and she stayed up late, reading the books on dreams.

Quite late, there was a knock on her guest room door. She called out, thinking it another servant, but was surprised to see Lasesa, her younger sister.

“I had a bad dream,” Lasesa said, looking forlorn.

“Oh, don’t worry, ‘Sesa. Come here.” Addi put the book aside and enveloped her sister in a hug. “Why aren’t you with mother and father?” Lasesa buried her head into Addi’s shoulder.

“‘Cause in my dream you were gone,” the young girl responded.

“Where would I go?” Addi said gently. “And even if I did go, I’d come back. Right? Like when I go out to the market, I always come back. There, don’t cry.”

Addi calmed her sister down, then walked her back to her room down the hall. She tucked Lasesa back into bed and told her a story about a princess who slayed the dragon holding her hostage until Lasesa was snoring into the pillow. When she quietly closed the door to Lasesa’s room, Addi caught the hurried sprint of a servant approaching. Alarmed considering the late hour, Addi stopped the servant.

“Where are you hurrying to?”

“It’s the master!” the servant said in a rush. “He can’t breathe. I need the doctor.”

Addi stepped aside and rushed in the servant’s wake. The next few hours were hectic and solemn all at once. The doctor was found, but there was little he could do. Grandfather was old, and, it seemed, his time had come. By the morning, he had passed.

On the day of the funeral, Addi regarded herself in the mirror. She’d placed her hair up, with a circling braid and small dark flowers in the cross sections. It wasn’t silent, but it was somber this day. She looked at the letter on the vanity, the one the servant had brought from her grandfather. She felt now was the time, and so she broke the seal and read:

“My dearest Addi,

I have none of the gifts you have, but I have always had faith in you, and I know my health. My guess is I don’t have long, and perhaps it’s all the better. I’ve had a good life, but I’ve done my ills, and worst among them I think was giving you hope there was something here for you. But your fortune lies abroad. I’ve known this since you were young, and couldn’t bear to see you go.

I have a connection in the south, someone who may be able to start you on better understanding your talent. I’ve enclosed her details, and when you’re ready, I want you to seek her out. You will do amazing things. And I’ll be watching.

With all my love,

Grandfather”

Addi looked out the window. She could see the mountains, but knew they would flatten to the south.