Hunt for Victoria Waterson

Hunt for Victoria Waterson 

I never intended to be like this. When I was a child I never thought my life would turn out like this. I never thought that I would hate people being jealous of me all the time. I'm Victoria Waterson, a 21 year old girl and It feels like everyone is jealous of me. I never really realized when it happened or how it happened, it just kind of did. So now I have no friends, no boyfriend, no anything. I never considered myself someone that a person could be jealous of. I mean I have a basic face, pale rosy skin, chestnut brown hair, and thin lips. I think everyone has a basic face until you get to know all their quirks and flaws that make us unique. I live in an empty apartment, with a mattress,  a small shower and toilet, a singular window with blinds that don't open and keep closed all the time to reduce contact from the world as much as possible. I dont have anyone over, ever, except when my sink busted and caused water damage to the apartment,a lady  who works in the building fixed it, and  that was the most contact Ive had. I  kept my distance from her by facing the wall so nothing would happen. 

When I was younger, anytime I would meet someone that I thought I could keep my distance from but still be friends, I would always be wrong. Every time I would skip out of Biology in high school and wait in the bathroom sitting on the lifeless cold tiled floor there would always be girls in there talking about me. Jealousy is such a weird concept. The idea of someone being jealous of you is like a form of flattery in a way because you have something they don't but want  and that gives you power. But speaking as someone with  experience,I don't take it as a good thing. I always told myself don't worry, just don't let it get to you, that never worked. Because jealousy is like a cycle, a never ending pointless cycle, it goes from being jealous, to being angry, to being so angry that you become jealous, to trying to pick and find their flaws with a magnifier so you can stop being jealous but then you notice something else that you didn't even realize was there before that you now want, and the cycle starts all over again. 

Anytime I try to tell someone this is happening to me they say i'm crazy, and people tell each other to just ignore me because i'm “crazy”. Ignore,  I hate that word, you tell yourself to ignore someone when you're in a  fight and don't feel like walking past them or trying to awkwardly talk to each other, Ignoring is the worst thing you can do because that makes you want to see them even more and find things out about them, which just happens to be another trait of jealousy. As much as I hate what's wrong with me I wish I could go into the world and do normal people stuff, I barely eat but anytime I do it's always put in through this small silver panel that looks like a doggy door.

 I don't know why someone is bringing food to my apartment, but I can't complain. I wear these bright blue socks , most of the time I'm cold but my feet never are. I don't watch TV much, only when I go through all the radio stations and nothing else that I like. Even though my condition only works on actual people I feel like anytime I touch an inanimate object it's also jealous of me, not in a way a person is but in other ways. Like for example, whenever I touch my mattress so I can sit on it and go to bed I have my gray pillow but every other day it changes back to white and then as soon as my head gets used to it it switches back to white. See everyone is jealous of me. I'm not insane. Sometimes I hear voices outside of my apartment. I guess there's a doctor in my building now, Doctor Kim. I like to listen to what he says. Apparently last week his girlfriend forgot about their anniversary and didn't even come to the park where they were going to have dinner. I hope he doesn't think I'm a nosy neighbor. Sometimes I try to get out of my apartment but the door is sealed and closed. I wonder why. Maybe the landlord doesn't like me very much. Sometimes I hear people talking about me outside my apartment like they're too scared to come inside or that i'm the “crazy one”, like I said earlier everyone always tells me that i'm crazy for thinking that, see; jealousy.

 At least I have my notebook with me to keep myself company, except some days I can't find it. It's like someone took it, but again another step in the cycle of jealousy, taking away the things that I like. I miss the fresh air and the cool breeze running through my long wavy brown hair or taking pictures of myself with my iced coffee in my hand smiling in front of a coffee shop. I remember that being one of the first pictures I posted, there were so many comments and likes it went viral. Some of the comments were  like “oh my god it's that one girl” or “Stay safe everyone” I don't know why someone would comment something like that, but again, another form of jealousy, bringing someone down even when they haven't done anything. I sleep for most of the time , sometimes I feel really drowsy or lightheaded, sometimes both. It's like someone injected something into me and then I wake up and then go back to bed and it happens again. I keep pressing skip on this black metallic radio that's in my apartment. I can't find any station or song I want to listen to, so I finally just give up and go to bed. 

The next morning I surprisingly don't feel bad, but I do notice one thing; my diary is gone, I don't know where it could have been but then I realize of course it's not here because it's trying to ignore me, like I said earlier; the cycle of jealousy. Since I have nothing to do and I don't feel like looking for anything on the radio when I turn on my TV, I feel like it's been ages since the last time I felt and held a remote. I keep pressing and pressing the remote, there are no channels that interest me, shocker. I finally settled for the news. It's the usual stories that you hear on the news, an army veteran turns 100, a small bakery closing down after years of business, what the hot concert tickets are right now and where you can buy them. I was about to turn it off until I heard this; “In later news, The hunt for Victoria Waterson has been solved, the 21 year old is found guilty for being the town's well known serial killer who has a mental condition where she believes everyone is jealous of her and kills whoever she thinks is. Here is a picture that she posted in front of a coffee shop before she was convicted. She was put in a mental institution three weeks ago and has been undergoing treatment. All news stations have been notified of this news. That is the 10:00 am news, thank you for watching, this is Sarah Murphy. 

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