A Tale of Mo

When I saw you that night, under those golden lights, I knew I had to have you. I watched you hold the little boy so tenderly as you sang him to sleep. I envisioned you in five years in the same position, holding a boy that looked just like me. Your voice was like a siren, luring me closer - sweet melodies that left comforting oscillations in my ears. What I felt was magnetic, the way you moved so majestic. I couldn’t contain the sensations that you stirred inside of me.

You saw me then, but you turned away, and my heart grew fonder for you. I needed to know how your mind ticked, what awakened your soul, what your reason for taking each breath was. What did you like to do on a Winter’s day? Did you come alive at the darkest hour or were you the earliest bird of them all? There wasn’t a single day that went by where I didn’t think of you. The essence you had, the aura you created, it took me to nirvana and followed me into my dreams.

I’m smiling as I write this because we almost didn’t meet. Life had pulled me on a tumultuous journey of loss and gain. I suffered from being outcast from my family because of the scenes I used to create - my vicious attempts to dismiss their outdated rules. My goal was never to marry. I wanted to write my own story. I went to travel the world, and I guess in that aspect, I fell short. I wasn’t in the right place when I left, and I had been in a dangerous place ever since. Until I met you. But of course, you already know this.

My entire world became finer when you finally let me in - like wine from an encrusted glass, the taste of sensual sweetness dripping from your lips. Your defences simmered, and your walls caved. You realised that you were worth diamonds, rubies, and what you had settled for wasn’t enough. I’m glad I was the one to make you see this - how the radiance that emanated from your core touched the darkest of souls. And once I had you, I couldn’t let you go. From dawn until dusk, every daydream spoke of you. Of how enchanting the olive of your dress melted with your skin, the first night we spent together avoiding the rain. The moonlight illuminated the innocence in your eyes, but you were far from innocent. We both were. I’ll never forget the way my morals dispersed once you ran your soft hand down my chest. 

I think the adrenaline spiked our momentum at the start - the exhilarating rush that sent us skyward. Silent escapades to the pier, secret whispers as we ran to your room. Alive? A multitude of words is needed to express how I feel when next to you. But somewhere along the way, the lines began to blur, between chasing a fantasy and living an attainable life. I knew what I was doing when I brought you this far over the edge. It was selfish, I was selfish. I needed you just as much as you needed me. I saw the look on your face, the collected composure you put on, your mask against the panic. You lied about where you would always be, and it ate away at my heart. It meant that you could have fled from me. It wrecked me that I couldn’t stand by your side, that you had to endure the scrutiny alone. All I can do is admire you. I’ll adore you always.

How did it feel to receive so much affection? I apologise for my persistence but never for how I felt. It was my advances that kept you on your feet, it was my advances that intrigued you, more than his. Yes, I am aware that you have a fiance. It was wrong for me to have tried so hard with you. But I had to, so we could discover what it means to be in love. Nothing is more victorious than taking the risk and succeeding. I am a winner because I have known you.

Forever. That’s what I’m aiming for. That’s where we belong. I want you in my arms while you sing bliss into my ears. I’ll be there to hold you when things become tough for us. I need you to promise to wipe my tears. You’ve given me a new addition to my future - a new life, a new seed. I got my wish earlier than expected, shorter than five years. If he hasn’t touched you, then the baby is mine. When he finds out about you having another child, I’ll be there, seething as he fawns all over you. But know that I’ll never leave your side, I’ll always be there for you.

***

I placed the paper on the desk and chewed nervously at my lower lip. I don’t know how much more my heart can take. The thoughts in my head were running rampant, as I tried to piece together the subtle clues in the text. The story was so sincere, why did it have to be so wrong? What was I supposed to do now?

The door suddenly swung open, startling me. I tried to cover up the sheet, but it was too late.       

      “What are you doing in my room?!” He snapped. I took in the shock that radiated from his expression. 

      “What am I doing?” I asked in disbelief, “What are YOU doing?”

 I felt the temperature plummet. I wish our mother hadn’t asked me to bring up his shirt…

“Please Mo, please tell me this is another one of your stories.” 

      “It’s another one of my stories.” He muttered nervously, not looking me in my eyes. He wasn’t convincing anyone clearly. That alone made me feel sick. 

      “You’re having an affair with someone’s fiance?” I meant to whisper it, but it seemed to come out forcefully. He looked at the ground the whole time, while I felt the bile rise in my throat. 

      “Do you realise the damage that you’re causing? She has a child as well!”

 A frown settled on his lips as he continued to look downwards. Shame lingered over his head, his own personal raincloud. 

      “Zack always said that you’d be a homewrecker, well amongst other things. His new family is so fresh too, could you imagine doing something like that to him?” I grabbed his chin and lifted it up so he would face me. 

      “I don’t care about what Zack has to say. He hates me just like everyone else in this family.” He curled his lip up in annoyance after he spat out the words. My brothers – Zack and Mo - will never see eye to eye. It pains me knowing that we could never exist as a stable family unit. “A family unit”, the phrase is enough to show how much our family is run like a business – an array of settlements and custom, an absence of humility and compassion.

Mo folded the paper in half and tore it up thoroughly, leaving no clear sentences left. His masterpiece destroyed by the tornado of his hands. He started heading for the door when I had a sudden realisation. My stomach sank. 

      “Wait!” I screamed. I expected him to continue walking, but he turned back around. He looked at me expectantly, but also obliviously like he didn’t assume that I would work it out. There was one sentence that stuck out to me in what he wrote: “I watched you hold the little boy so tenderly as you sang him to sleep”. Nara held her little boy and sung to him the first night we all arrived at my parents’ house. She was standing underneath golden lights, while we all watched her in amazement with her serenading voice. She was the woman who held both of my brothers’ hearts.

      “You’re having an affair with Zack’s fiancé?” My voice wobbled in dismay. “How long?” 

 He said nothing. 

      “How long?!” I pressed. 

      “Just over 8 months.”

Dear God.

I threw my head into my hands. How did they even manage to keep it a secret for so long?

      “You really want to be exiled from this family, again don’t you? Our own brother…” 

 Zack was desperately in love with Nara. Our family would be ruined. The pregnancy? It doesn’t matter who the father is, both will suffer from the result.

I picked myself up from the seat and tried to escape, but he grabbed my arm. A pleading look resided in his eyes. He needed to know that I was on his side. But how could someone be wicked enough to put someone else in a position like this?

      “I don’t really know what to say, Alia. No one was supposed to find out, no one else can find out.” His arm softened a little, a sigh slowly blew from his mouth. “Can you keep a secret?”.