One More Verse

  I paced outside the brick building, trying to push away the nausea that was making it hard to breathe. Behind me, I could barely hear the pounding music coming from inside the building over Elle, who was yelling at her phone when Evan didn’t pick up. 

  “WHAT IS HAPPENING?! He's never not answered me,” she raged. I snorted and tried to laugh through the sickness that was starting to overwhelm me, but it only made it worse. 

  “Girl, you look pale,” Elle whispered. I just nodded. “What happened, did your blood sugar drop again? I told you to eat before you come.” She reached for my forehead.

  I pushed her hand away. “No, ‘mom’, I’m just nervous...” I wiped at my face, trying to dry some of the sweat that was sliding down my face. 

  “Well, good thing you didn’t wear much makeup tonight, ‘cause that would be bad.” So reassuring.

  We stood there in silence for a while, both wondering what we would do if Evan and Kassandra didn’t show up, when I heard an engine coming closer, the tires scratching against the rough pavement. Elle started forward toward the car, and I realized it was the twins.

  “Guys, we gotta hurry! Simon’s already inside setting our stuff up.” I shouted as Evan and Kass stepped out of the vehicle. 

  “Oi, I know.” Evan ran around to the trunk and we helped them unload their gear. “Chill, chill. We’ll be fine, Jaida.”

  Once we got all of their paraphernalia out, we carried it all to the side entrance that Elle and I had been standing by. I trailed my fingers along the brick until they met the metal of the door. My palms were sweaty as I pulled open the door. 

  I was hit by a wave of sounds and smells, and it knocked me back a step. Through my mind fog, I heard someone coming near us quickly. 

  “It’s about time you get here,” came the smooth voice of Simon. I looked up and sighed.

  “Yeah, I’m so sorry, it was kind of all my fault,” Kass blurted. “I was doing my hair and trying to find my sweater and it turns out my little sister had it so I had to get my mom to tell her to give it to me and then Evan told me it was time to go and I couldn’t find my--”

  “Take a deep breath,” Simon interrupted. “We’re on in seven minutes, now let's go get your stuff set up.” He held the door open and we filed in. This was the first room down that hall from the cafeteria where the CHHS Christmas Festival was being held. Every now and then, the doors would open and sound blasted into our room. 

  We attempted to fit Kass’ keyboard and Evan’s guitar case down the little passage between the room we were in and the backstage, but we really failed. We ended up having to carry it through the cafeteria in order to fit the keyboard in the doors.

  The room was so loud. Kids and adults everywhere talking, speakers blaring “Deck the Halls,” the furnace running almost nonstop. I focused on the footsteps of my friends in front of me, fighting off another wave of nausea. After what felt like ten ages, we finally reached the backstage room. 

  Simon led us to the front middle of the room where my drumset had been put together; I stood where I was going to sit behind the drums and took a deep breath. 

  The door to my right opened and three people entered, and we all turned around. The first to speak was our principal, Mr. Radclyffe. 

  “Thank you so much for being willing to open the Festival this year. This will be great experience for you and your future as a band.” He shook each of our hands in turn, mine being the last. “Miss Jaida, calm your nerves. I believe you are one of the finest drummers in the state. You have good potential and you’ll do fine tonight.” He let go of my hand and walked out of the room. The other two people who came in with Mr. Radclyffe came up to me, and I immediately hugged them both.

  “I’m so proud of you,” Dad whispered as he hugged me back.

  “Don’t be too proud of me yet,” I replied. “We haven’t even started yet.”

  “Ah, but we don’t have to see your performance to know you’re great.” Mom kissed my hair. I smiled and put my hand on her swollen belly.

  “Wish me luck, little sister,” I said softly, and my friends all ‘awww-ed’. Mom was due to have the baby in a few days. 

  On the other side of the curtain, the music came to an abrupt stop as Mr. Radclyffe started his opening speech to the audience. Mom and Dad turned to go, and Silent Fire prepared themselves for their ‘grand entrance,’ as we like to call it.

  My heart skipped a beat and my stomach churned. I leaned on one arm against the wall, trying not to throw up or pass out. 

  I started when someone put their hand on my shoulder. 

  “Hey, what’s goin’ on?” Simon steadied me as I swayed from the nausea. “J, talk to me.”

  “Why am I so nervous?” I whispered. He laughed.

  “One, it’s your first time doing this. Two, you haven’t had one of my mom’s butter mints.” His leather jacket swooshed as he pulled a ziploc bag from his pocket, and he handed me a mint. 

  “Hey!” Elle whisper-shouted across the room. “You are gonna share, right?” 

  “Sure, there’s enough,” Simon replied. She, Kass and Evan gathered around for one of the homemade mints. They were the kind that melted as soon as they touched your tongue. 

  We checked and double-checked everything to make sure it was ready. Since Simon was the band leader, he went around to everyone one last time before the performance. When he came up to me and my drums, I stood up and pulled him into a hug. 

  “Thank you.” I took another deep breath. 

  “Nah, all I did was give you a mint and a pep talk.” He pulled away and placed his hands on my shoulders. 

  “I know I probably shouldn’t say this, but… you’re my second favorite cousin.” I winked at him and he laughed. 

  “Second to who?” he asked. 

  “Oh, you know... your sister,” I teased as I sat back down. Simon took his place on my left, with Kass’ keyboard, Evan and his electric guitar, and Elle with her xylophone in a line next to him. 

  Last minute preparations continued  as Mr. Radclyffe carried his speech on longer than expected. I put in my earplugs, the kind that isn’t really visible. I silently drummed my sticks on my thighs, waiting. Don’t fail me now, Mario and Luigi. I smiled to myself at the nicknames Evan gave my drumsticks. 

  Footsteps approached me and I looked up. 

  “You forgot your bracelet thing,” Evan whispered. 

  “Oops, yeah, I did.” I held out my left arm; he slid the cuff over my hand and clasped it. The cuff was designed to send out tiny vibrations up my arm. It helped me keep my beat.

  “Thanks,” I said quietly. I held out my fist and he fistbumped it then made his way back to his place. 

  Finally, Mr. Radclyffe ended his speech and introduced us. 

  “Now as you know, this year we were unable to get a band in from the college, so we asked a more... local band to do the honors of opening this year’s sixteenth annual CHHS Christmas Festival. Give a warm welcome to our very own Silent Fire Band!”

  With that, the curtains parted and the crowd cheered. Simon stepped forward to the mic and waited for the people to quiet. 

  “Hello, y’all, welcome to the Christmas Festival,” he declared. “We are excited to be the ones opening this year’s Festival, and we hope you enjoy this song we do: our own rendition of ‘Christmas Eve in Sarajevo’.” He stepped back from the mic and took his place next to me. 

  My cuff started vibrating, giving me the beat of the song. Eight beats later the electric guitars started with the rhythm. After the first verse, I came in with just a few taps on the kick drum. The second verse, I added the snare and medium tom. 

  I took a deep breath and focused on the beat vibrations of my cuff. The tag coming up was my solo. Loosening my grip on the sticks, I shoved away the panic of oh no what if I forget which drum to play at this second and let my hands do the work without my brain. My hands knew the placement of the drums, so I let them fly on their own. 

  The hours and hours of practice was for this moment. The moment when I could show people that I could do something, not just have to sit around and let others take care of me. I could show them I wasn’t useless, though to my friends I’ve never been thought of as useless. That thought drove me on.

  Finally I neared the end of the coda, when suddenly Luigi slipped in my hand and hit the high tom then the snare drum. It was just a minor mistake, so I pushed on through till the end of the tag. 

  After that, the rest of the song was a breeze. I messed up two more times, but hey, it was only my first performance. I knew I wouldn’t be perfect. 

  The song ended with a dramatic flare from the electric guitars. The crowd cheered like they were at a concert. Eventually I heard the curtains close, and Mr. Radclyffe got up to speak again, but we were too excited to listen. 

  “AHA! I told you she’d do amazing!” Elle exclaimed, picking me up and spinning me around. I mean, I was 30 pounds lighter than her and about a foot shorter than her. She set me down, but my head swam again and I nearly toppled over, except Simon had grabbed my shoulders. “Oh, oops I probably shouldn’t have done that yet.” Elle patted my head. “There there.”

  “You are so weird,” I groaned. I shook my head to clear the dizziness as we gave each other high fives. “Guys, I think we did pretty good.”

  “Considering it was our first time, yeah, I think we did.” Evan’s voice was warm like he was smiling. 

  The door on the right opened and Mr. Radclyffe, who apparently had already finished his second speech, burst in. 

  “They loved it!” he cried. 

  “YES!!” came our reply. 

  We hurried out of the room and into the cafeteria where everyone was waiting. Teens and their parents pushed and shoved to greet and congratulate us. 

  “That was so awesome,” “Very good,” “All of you have talent,” and “Will you play for my daughter’s birthday party?” were a few of the comments and compliments people gave us. 

  Simon kept his arm around my shoulders to keep me steady through all the turbulence of the crowd as we headed towards the food table. People were staring at us, at me as we walked.

  Because to them, I was probably the only blind drummer they had ever met.