Satellite Kisses

Stephen’s eyes squeezed tighter as the heat made its presence known around him in the stuffy compact. He wasn’t ready to wake up and face the world again. He was ready for this day to be over. And the next, and the next. Stephen was just gliding by, day by day at this point. Yet here he was. His phone vibrated next to him but he didn’t check it. From the position he was laying he could see it was just his nagging mom checking in on him again, making sure her baby boy was safe. He must have stirred just enough because before he knew it the dog’s tongue was licking the sweat off of his face.

“Okay okay girl I’m awake!” Stephen said rolling onto his stomach from the baby-ball position he had slept in. His body ached from sleeping in a car so much. The blue-grey pitbull laid across the back seat of the car but reached her thick head around to get some salty goodness off his face. But what she really wanted was some food. Stephen was beginning to learn her idiosyncrasies as much as she was learning his. Especially when it came in the form of manipulations around what he would do for her. Her soft-sky eyes looked up at him with impatience and her warm breath made the already stuffy car air feel thicker with every pant.

He rolled over further and opened the passenger side door and stood outside to stretch his legs. In doing so he opened the back door as well and the large dog moved to do the same. She trotted over to the first patch of grass she could find and bent down to take a long pee. 

Wherever she had come from she was well trained, Stephen thought.

He looked around to make sure no one was watching and went behind a dumpster to do the same. The dog trotted back up to him ready for some food. They ate together, Stephen a peanut-butter and jelly and the dog some cheap dog food that he bought a couple of days ago after she stumbled into his life one rainy night. 

She was growing on him quickly which was ironic to Stephen who had never owned a dog before, never really been an animal person in general. Growing up they weren’t allowed to have pets in the apartments that his mother always rented and when she bought a house the conversation never really came up. But he had a kind heart and didn’t like to see other creatures suffering. At least not suffering as much as he had been. After about an hour of slowly getting ready around the car Stephen finally checked his text message from his mom.

“I love you, be safe today” the message said.

Stephen had left home this summer after his brother passed away in Afghanistan. While Stephen was learning algebra and English, a language that he felt he knew enough about, his brother was off playing war. On his second tour his brother was killed in action and for Stephen that was the beginning of his end. Nothing made sense anymore, nothing was worth anything to him. He barely finished the semester and most of his teachers gave him a pass. When the semester ended he knew he had to get away. His poor mother didn’t understand, but he couldn’t be around her pain any longer. He could barely live with his own pain.

She was now a single mother of just one and he abandoned her in her time of need. But he also needed to figure out what the point of all this was. His brother was his role model, always had been always will be, but now that he was gone, Stephen was lost. His friends all delved into drugs and alcohol to pass the time and Stephen dabbled but that wasn’t how he wanted to live his life, finding the next high to battle the next low. So the day summer break began, he fled. He ran away. To go find himself. To go figure out what the hell the point of living really was. He loved his mom dearly, but he needed some adventure on his own.

It had been a month since he left. He was traveling around the state of California, never getting too far from home but no intention to head home anytime soon either. He debated visiting his dad in northern Cali but he drove south instead and it only got warmer and warmer.

Today was a new day, beautiful and bright and after breakfast, Stephen began to perk up a little. He went into town to see what there was to offer. To call the town a town was a joke. It was a city. THE city, L. Freaking A. And he was homeless but happy. When he turned sixteen he read Into the Wild for a school project and a year later when his life went to hell he felt he was living it. A new Alexander Supertramp.

Stephen and the dog walked around the city together, wherever he went she followed like the earth and moon. They made their way deeper into the city and eventually found themselves outside a park. They walked in and there were plenty of people walking around. The dog began to get restless. She kept looking at the park and all the people and looking back up at Stephen. Stephen didn’t know what she wanted, at least not at first. She just kept making low guttural noises and her feet kept dancing back and forth. Stephen looked back at the park.

“You want to run girl?” He asked. She gave two quick barks. How does this work? Stephen thought. 

“Okay go run!” He said enthusiastically, and before he could finish saying run she was sprinting. She ran in-between beautiful L.A. couples, she danced around little kids, and sprinted back and forth between Stephen and whatever fresh patch of grass she hadn’t trotted over. It was a picture perfect scene and Stephen finally understood why so many movies were filmed in places like this. Stephen was laughing. He didn’t realize how much he was laughing until tears were in his eyes. He felt guilty for a second. He hadn’t laughed like this in months. He hadn’t laughed since before his brother died. But that wasn’t right. He shouldn’t be thinking like that. 

He could hear his mom’s voice in the back of his head saying, “Stephen, don’t let anything get you down for too long. We weren’t put on this earth to sulk we were put on it to live.”

Stephen wiped the tears from his eyes and looked around. Everyone was so damn happy around him. Couples were kissing, families were playing together, and even people walking idly by smiled at each other. 

Why can’t I be like that? Stephen thought. Stephen was sitting on a small hill in the park and the dog was still running out whatever pent up energy she had in her. How much energy did she have? People were beginning to watch her as well and eventually when she began to slow down she made her way back to Stephen and everyone’s eyes followed. 

She barreled into him knocking him back and he couldn’t help but be filled with glee as he hugged and pet her.

“That’s a pretty dog you got there, boy,” a man’s voice said behind him. Stephen turned around and a large white man with contrasting features was sitting on a bench behind him reading the newspaper and looking right at him. His clothes looked out of place the way thunder doesn’t fit on a snowy night. While everyone was dressed in nice summery clothes, he was dressed in sweat pants and a sweatshirt. Out of place in the heat. He was a very unassuming man, the kind you would scan a room for and miss if you were looking. 

“Um thanks, she’s a sweetheart.” Stephen replied.

“Does she have a leash?”

“She doesn’t need a leash, she’s clearly well trained.” Stephen said.

“Either way there are leash laws and she shouldn’t be off leash.”

“Yeah well she doesn’t have one. I’m sorry.”

“How old are you boy?”

“What’s it to you?” Stephen said. He was getting nervous. Who was this guy?

“Consider me a concerned citizen,” the man said.

“I’m seventeen,” Stephen replied. Beginning to stand up.

“Seventeen huh? You don’t look seventeen,” the man said with a smile on his face.

“Screw-off old man. Leave me and my dog alone.” Stephen said shaking grass off his legs.

“You should learn some manners boy.”

“And you should learn to leave kids alone creep.”

The man made to get up but Stephen and the dog were already walking away. Stephen raised his middle finger at the guy and the guy just continued to stare back.

Stephen and the dog wandered back into the city and the dog sat patiently at every stop outside. The dog never attacked another dog that walked by or even gave a second glance at anyone. Except one time.

One moment when Stephen had just walked out of a convenience store a little girl and her mother were walking in. Stephen could feel his heart beat faster as the little girl made to reach for the large dog. Back home Stephen knew what the dogs were used for, often fighting, often protection, often killing when possible and so Stephen did what any normal person would do and lunged for the little girl to stop her.

He was too late and before he could do anything the dog was on top of her.

“Charlie!” The mom screamed. But before either Stephen or the mother could react further they heard laughter. And the dog wasn’t attacking her, but licking her all over. And the little girl - Charlie couldn’t be happier. Stephen relaxed and so did the mother, and when the little play session started to slow down Stephen made a move to start petting the dog.

“Okay girl let the little girl go,” Stephen said. He looked up at the mom, “I am so sorry!”

“No, no don’t apologize. Your dog is so sweet! We are big dog people too. Charlie has a big doggy at home too. Isn’t that right Charlie?” The mom said.

With a giggle she answered yes. And the mom picked her up into her arms.

“Thank you for letting the two of them play.” The mom said as they walked away.

“Bye doggy!” Charlie said waving goodbye over her mom’s shoulders.

Stephen looked down at the dog. Her innocent blue eyes and wide smile reflected the emotions that were bubbling up inside of him. He leaned down and hugged her and before he knew it he was kissing her forehead for the first time and she was licking him. Stephen laughed and squeezed tighter.

Stephen and the dog wandered the city a little longer eventually getting back to his car after dinner at a local diner. They sat outside watching the sun go down together and Stephen was exhausted. Stephen fed the dog a second bowl of food and when she was done she trotted away. There was no moon tonight which made the parking lot very dark. His phone vibrated again, another text from his mom.

“I miss you. Come home soon.”

Stephen couldn’t stop looking at his phone, tears started rolling down his face. He didn’t even realize there was someone standing nearby. When he looked up all he saw was a fist before stars were rolling around in his vision.

Stephen scrambled his hands up towards his face as a big hand wrapped around his face, the back of his head smashed against the top corner of the backseat door. Stephen lost his balance in that moment and fell backward but the big arm guided him around and he fell on his face, the backseat catching his fall. Stephen started kicking backwards not finding anything but air.

“You fucked with the wrong person kid.” A gruff voice said. Stephen’s nose was bleeding and he was crying he couldn’t get any words out of his mouth, he felt so powerless in that moment. The man’s large hands were already tearing at Stephen’s clothes and in a matter of moments Stephen’s bare lower body was exposed to the world. Stephen was screaming and crying for help he was still trying to thrash about when another hard fist hit him on the back of the head. Stephen bit through his lip. More blood.

“I like my chocolate young,” the voice said behind him. “Now open up you little shit.”

Stephen’s saving grace came in the dog’s jaws sinking her teeth into the man’s calf. The loud growl as she refused to let go. The loud scream as the man felt his flesh being torn away. In that moment Stephen became a dog lover. But it wasn’t over yet. Stephen kicked backwards and connected with soft tissue. He kicked again and again until the man had lost his footing and fell back into the parking lot. The man hit his head on the concrete and cried out in pain.

Stephen was on him before he knew it awkwardly punching the unassuming large white man wherever he could. Stephen landed a fist on his face, and his color bone, and hit shoulder, and his arm. The dog released the man’s leg and the man pushed Stephen off of him like nothing and scrambled to his feet.

“You fucking psychopath!” The man yelled. “Keep that dog away from me!” The man began to stumble backwards and the dog growled and barked at him, her mouth full of blood. Just like that he turned and ran away with a deep limp.

Stephen sat against his car, sobbing. The dog sat next to him and put her head on his shoulder. Stephen’s heartbeat was slowly coming back down and his sobs slowly turned to thick breaths of air. It was over. It was all over.

Stephen climbed into the front seat of his car. And picked up the phone. The dog jumped into the back of the car and climbed awkwardly into the front seat and she just continued to stare at him. Stephen leaned out and closed the driver’s side passenger door, then closed his door to the front seat and locked the doors. He double checked the locks, and then triple checked them one more time and then looked at his phone again. He started his car and began to drive, pulling onto the road and not looking back.

His phone connected to the car and music began playing through his phone but his hands were already finding the person he wanted to talk to. The music stopped and the phone began to ring.

Mid-ring the phone cut off and there was silence for what felt like an eternity, “Hello?” A woman’s voice began, “Stephen?”

Stephen began to cry again as he pulled over into a grocery store parking lot and his car rumbled underneath him, his mom waited patiently for him to say something. She was always good at that. Patience was her virtue. When Stephen finally caught his breath he exploded.

“I’m so sorry mom. I’m so so sorry!” He began.

“What’s wrong hunny? Are you okay? Where are you?”

“Nothing, I don’t think I want to talk about it. I just want you to know I am coming home.” He said, wiping tears from his eyes, “Can I please come home?”

“Of course sweetie. Come home.”

Stephen reached over to the passenger side seat and began petting the dog. She never took her eyes off of him as he drove. She was the calming presence he needed, a light in the dark night.

“Mom, I met someone.”

“You did?” He could hear the smile in her voice.

“Yeah I did. And her name is Luna.”

“Get here Stephen and I’ll have some food ready for you. Drive safely sweetie.”

Stephen and Luna drove all the way home that night and Stephen realized what he was looking for was always right in front of him. He was headed home to family.